In this episode, we talk about what it really means to stay connected — to your partner, to your friends, and to yourself — especially when life gets busy, overwhelming, or isolating.

We unpack how some people struggle with being part of a community and disguise that discomfort as "not wanting community" at all. The fear of closeness, accountability, and emotional presence — and how disconnection can quietly become a defense mechanism.

Kelsi reflects on realizing she can sometimes come off mean or distant, not because she doesn't care, but because she's deeply in her own world. Janai opens up about acknowledging that she does crave a relationship — and that her resistance isn't about independence, but about fear of being hurt again.

We also dive into why vulnerability can feel especially hard in spaces with other Black women. How early conditioning, comparison, and competition among little girls can follow us into adulthood, making softness and openness feel unsafe even in rooms meant for sisterhood.

If you've ever struggled with intimacy, community, emotional walls, or letting yourself be seen — this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere

In part two of this conversation, we go deeper into emotional intelligence — what it actually looks like, how it's developed, and the conversations that need to be happening but rarely are.

We talk through the kind of honest, patient conversation you'd have with a man if you were truly trying to teach emotional intelligence — not to shame, emasculate, or "fix" him, but to help him understand himself, his emotions, and the way they show up in relationships.

We unpack how important it is to cultivate safe spaces for Black men to explore vulnerability, emotional language, and self-awareness — while also holding space for a harder truth: women sometimes play a role in reinforcing toxic hypermasculinity by expecting men to be "hard," stoic, and unshakeable, only to belittle or dismiss them when they finally open up.

The conversation explores how emotional safety is built (and broken), how gender expectations shape emotional expression, and why healing requires accountability on both sides. Not just from men, but from women too.

If you've ever struggled to communicate emotionally with a partner, questioned what healthy masculinity looks like, or wondered how to create safer emotional dynamics in relationships, this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere

In part one of this two-part episode, we kick things off by talking about the vision boards Janai and Kelsi made — what we're calling in, what we're intentionally building, and how our desires are shifting as we grow.

We break the ice with a new segment we're officially coining Whiteboard Confessions, playing games that lead us straight into honesty, laughs, and unexpected takes. From there, the conversation takes a turn into dating, standards, and self-awareness.

Janai shares about a recent date and the long list of things she didn't like — and Kelsi challenges whether that list exists because of pretty privilege… aka having options. That opens up a deeper discussion about how privilege shows up differently depending on gender, and whether pretty privilege for women mirrors what weaponized incompetence has historically been for men.

We unpack how women have evolved so much in the workplace and the world at large that they no longer need men in the same ways — and how some men internalize that shift through resentment, hostility, and a growing hatred toward the modern woman.

The episode closes by setting the stage for a deeper conversation on emotional intelligence — what it looks like, who's actually doing the work, and why it's becoming the real divider in modern relationships.

If you're interested in dating dynamics, gender roles, power shifts, and the uncomfortable truths shaping modern relationships, this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere

In this New Year's Eve episode, we reflect on the habits, mindsets, and patterns we're leaving in 2025 — and the versions of ourselves we're intentionally bringing into 2026.

We play games, laugh a lot, and get real about what it actually takes to break cycles instead of just talking about change every January. From nipping old behaviors in the bud to remembering who we are at our core, this episode is about moving into the new year with clarity, softness, and self-trust.

Kelsi opens up about how gentle her inner monologue has become, and how learning to speak kindly to herself has changed the way she moves through life. Janai shares the contrast — navigating a much harsher inner voice — and together we unpack how the way we talk to ourselves shapes everything: confidence, habits, healing, and growth.

We talk about the power of speaking life into and over ourselves, catching the BS before it spirals, and choosing intention over self-criticism as we step into a new year.

If you're entering 2026 ready to release old versions of yourself, rewrite your inner dialogue, and move forward with more grace and self-awareness, this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee

🍒 @janaiiman

✨ @xo.upfromhere

In this episode, we're getting into all things Christmas — the cozy moments, the chaos, the unexpected emotions, and the very unholy holiday drama our listeners shared with us.

Janai talks about hosting her first Christmas with her family, the pressure, the excitement, and the "am I really the adult now?" feeling that comes with stepping into that role. Kelsi gets real about navigating a bit of the holiday blues — the quiet sadness the holidays can bring, even when everything looks picture perfect on the outside.

And then… things get JUICY.

We read wild Christmas confessions from our listeners, including the story of a girl who hooked up with her married boss… only for his wife to friend request her afterward 👀 And another listener who wore the same matching Christmas pajamas with two different men — in the same season. We laughed. We gasped. We judged a little. And we loved every second.

We also played a fun (and messy) game answering spicy questions in an "I Would" or "I Wouldn't" format, forcing us to be honest about what we'd actually do if we were in some of these situations.

If the holidays make you feel everything at once — nostalgic, overwhelmed, emotional, a little chaotic, and very entertained — this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee
🍒 @janaiiman
✨ @xo.upfromhere

In this episode, we get honest about the lessons that come with maturity — knowing when to speak, when to shut up, and when your ego is the only thing standing in the way of connection.

Janai opens up about watching Kelsi's relationship from the outside and sometimes feeling like it looks limiting — questioning whether long-term relationships can quietly shrink you, soften your edges, or pull you away from who you're becoming.

Kelsi shares the other side: how being with the right partner can actually make certain things feel less important, and how being fully seen can be one of the most freeing experiences there is.

We talk about whether relationships inherently limit you, or if the fear comes from choosing partners who don't leave room for growth. The difference between companionship and confinement. Love that demands performance versus love that offers peace.

We also revisit the origins of our friendship — how Janai first entered Kelsi's life as her manager, the aggressive dynamic that came with that power shift, and how it evolved into a deep, soulmate-level friendship built on honesty, respect, and shared growth.

If you've ever questioned love, long-term commitment, or the friendships that shape you just as much as romance, this episode is for you.

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🍒 @thekelsilee

🍒 @janaiiman

✨ @xo.upfromhere

In this episode, we dive into the kind of inner growth that doesn't look glamorous on the outside — the quiet shifts, the identity deaths, the chapters closing before we even know what the next one is. The parts of ourselves we outgrow, and the versions of us we're finally brave enough to walk away from.

Kelsi opens up about no longer feeling beholden to "auditioning" for anything — rooms, roles, or identities that never truly fit. She talks about releasing the need to be chosen, stepping out of the box of "actor," and finally embracing the fullness of being a creative. It's a conversation about choosing yourself, redefining purpose, and letting your real life matter more than the life you thought you should want.

Janai shares where she is in her own transition, knowing her era doing brows is coming to an end, yet not fully knowing what comes next. Together, they unpack the discomfort and the beauty of being in the in-between — the pivot, the pause, the pull toward something you can't name yet.

They dive into the boundaries they're learning to set in real time: protecting their energy, choosing what's good for them instead of what's convenient for everyone else, and giving themselves permission to not do what they don't want to do. No guilt. No fear. Just truth.

If you're in your reinvention era, questioning old dreams, or trying to grow into the most honest version of yourself, this episode is for you.

Follow us on Instagram:

🍒@thekelsilee

🍒@janaiiman

✨@xo.upfromhere

In this episode, we open up about the kind of childhood trauma that stays in your body long after you've grown up - the patterns you inherit, the wounds you didn't ask for, and the mothers who were doing their best... even when their best wasn't enough.

Kelsi gets vulnerable about growing up with a mother whose love was often overshadowed by meanness, emotional neglect, and expectations no child could meet. She talks about understanding the why behind it — her mom's own painful upbringing, her lack of support, and the unresolved trauma she carried. But she also sits with the truth that understanding doesn't erase the impact.

Janai adds her perspective as someone who watched Kelsi's experience up close, and together they unpack how immigrant households — especially Jamaican culture - shape daughters through harshness, misogyny, and "tough love." They also dive into how Christianity can block real healing by avoiding accountability in the name of faith.

If you've ever had to heal from a mother wound, confront your upbringing, or break generational patterns, this episode is for you.

Follow along with us:
🍒@thekelsilee (https://www.instagram.com/thekelsilee)
🍒@janaiiman (https://www.instagram.com/janaiiman)
✨@xo.upfromhere (https://www.instagram.com/xo.upfromhere)