This week I'm joined by Cole Zesiger, a breakup and relationship coach who has helped over 2,000 people navigate heartbreak.

After going through a divorce at 23 and jumping into a rebound relationship that also ended, Cole rebuilt his life from scratch and now teaches others how to do the same. He also just released his first book, Exes and No's: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear.

This is one of the rare episodes where we have a male guest, and I loved getting Cole's perspective on breakups, rebounds, and what it actually takes to be ready for love again.

What we cover:

• Why breakups are so devastating. It's not just losing the person, it's losing the entire future you imagined with them.

• The science behind heartbreak. Studies show that romantic rejection activates the same brain patterns as withdrawing from hard drugs. This explains why we do irrational things after a breakup.

• The truth about no contact. Why treating a breakup like a detox is often the fastest path to healing, and why it's also the best strategy if you genuinely want to get back together.

• Can you actually get back with an ex? Cole shares when reconciliation works, when it doesn't, and a story about a couple who reunited after divorce and are still going strong years later.

• The rebound trap. Why jumping into a new relationship too quickly often just delays the grief, and how Cole learned this the hard way.

• How to know when you're ready to date again. Not "fully healed" but "happy enough" with your life that you won't just take the first person who shows interest.

• The dating rules that keep you single. Why building a rigid checklist after heartbreak often backfires and screens out great people for meaningless reasons.

• How to talk about your ex on early dates. The difference between making your ex the main character of the story versus making yourself the main character.

Resources mentioned:

Cole's new book, Exes and No's: coachcolezesiger.com/exsandnos

Work with Cole: coachcolezesiger.com/booking

Cole on Instagram: @coachcolezesiger

Connect with Emma:

Instagram: @turning30coach

Join the Turning Community: https://www.turning30coach.com/turning-lp

If this episode helped you see breakups differently, please subscribe, rate, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Think you need fireworks on the first date to know they're the one? In this episode, Emma challenges everything we've been taught about how love is supposed to feel at the start.

What we cover:

The difference between a fast burn and a slow burn, and why rushing through the early stages of dating often means skipping the check-ins that actually matter.

Why those "I just knew" stories you see on Instagram aren't the full picture, and what most love stories actually look like behind the scenes.

The dating masks we all wear. Even if you think you're being your authentic self, Emma explains why it takes time for the real versions of both people to show up.

How Emma and Ellie navigated the early days of their relationship, including why a three-week trip apart actually helped them.

Practical tips for slowing down without dragging things out, from choosing better date activities to reframing how you ask important questions.

Why going slow at the start often leads to things speeding up later, and how to trust that process when you're feeling the pressure of your 30s.

Connect with Emma:

Instagram: @turning30coach

Join the Turning Community: https://www.turning30coach.com/turning-lp

If this episode shifted something for you, please subscribe, rate, and share it with a friend who's in her dating era.

Ever caught yourself saying "I'm doing everything right, so why isn't it working?" You're not alone. In this episode, Emma unpacks that phrase so many women use when they join the Turning community, and what it often reveals underneath.

What we cover:

Is there really such a thing as "doing all the right things" when it comes to love? Emma challenges the idea that love works like other areas of life where effort equals results. Unlike your career or friendships, love has an element of randomness and divine timing that we simply can't control.

The difference between wanting love and being open to it. Emma shares her own story of how she turned down Ellie two years before they got together, not because she didn't want a relationship, but because she had deep inner work to do first. Desire and openness aren't the same thing.

How to tell if you're truly ready. Emma offers a simple thought experiment: imagine someone handed you an envelope containing a real, past-the-honeymoon-phase relationship starting tomorrow. What comes up for you? Your honest reaction might reveal more than you expect.

What to actually focus on during this chapter. Instead of treating single life as a waiting room, Emma encourages you to get curious about what genuinely lights you up and to do the inner work that opens your heart to receive love when it does arrive.

Resources mentioned:

Free journaling guide: https://chipper-builder-227.kit.com/journal-guide

The Turning Community for women in their 30s calling in love

Coming soon: a workshop on how to open your heart and call in your next chapter

Connect with Emma:

Instagram: @turning30coach

Join the Turning Community: https://www.turning30coach.com/turning-lp

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, rate, and share it with a friend who needs to hear it xo