This week I'm joined by Cole Zesiger, a breakup and relationship coach who has helped over 2,000 people navigate heartbreak.

After going through a divorce at 23 and jumping into a rebound relationship that also ended, Cole rebuilt his life from scratch and now teaches others how to do the same. He also just released his first book, Exes and No's: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear.

This is one of the rare episodes where we have a male guest, and I loved getting Cole's perspective on breakups, rebounds, and what it actually takes to be ready for love again.

What we cover:

• Why breakups are so devastating. It's not just losing the person, it's losing the entire future you imagined with them.

• The science behind heartbreak. Studies show that romantic rejection activates the same brain patterns as withdrawing from hard drugs. This explains why we do irrational things after a breakup.

• The truth about no contact. Why treating a breakup like a detox is often the fastest path to healing, and why it's also the best strategy if you genuinely want to get back together.

• Can you actually get back with an ex? Cole shares when reconciliation works, when it doesn't, and a story about a couple who reunited after divorce and are still going strong years later.

• The rebound trap. Why jumping into a new relationship too quickly often just delays the grief, and how Cole learned this the hard way.

• How to know when you're ready to date again. Not "fully healed" but "happy enough" with your life that you won't just take the first person who shows interest.

• The dating rules that keep you single. Why building a rigid checklist after heartbreak often backfires and screens out great people for meaningless reasons.

• How to talk about your ex on early dates. The difference between making your ex the main character of the story versus making yourself the main character.

Resources mentioned:

Cole's new book, Exes and No's: coachcolezesiger.com/exsandnos

Work with Cole: coachcolezesiger.com/booking

Cole on Instagram: @coachcolezesiger

Connect with Emma:

Instagram: @turning30coach

Join the Turning Community: https://www.turning30coach.com/turning-lp

If this episode helped you see breakups differently, please subscribe, rate, and share it with someone who needs to hear it.