Two Reasons Toddlers Don’t Listen (and Why Certain Strategies Fail)

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Welcome to the Toddler Toolkit podcast! In this episode, we tackle a common frustration among parents: 'Why doesn't my toddler listen even when I'm calm?' The answer might surprise you—it's often not a listening problem but a nervous system issue. Learn why toddlers' behavior during transitions, trips, and daily routines can spark meltdowns and power struggles. We'll discuss effective strategies for handling disappointment, loss of control, and autonomy stress. By the end, you'll have practical tips for increasing cooperation and understanding your toddler's true needs. Don't forget to check out our free guide, 'The Seven Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast.' All links are in the show notes!

00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:11 Understanding Toddler Listening Issues
01:10 Why Not Listening Feels Personal
01:44 Common Not Listening Patterns
03:07 Dealing with Disappointment and Loss of Control
06:44 Autonomy and Transition Stress
08:02 Increasing Cooperation and Avoiding Power Struggles
09:33 Effective Transition Strategies
12:56 Conclusion and Final Tips

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Toddlers Don’t Lie — They’re Communicating (Here’s What to Do)

"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast! In this episode, we talk about why toddlers and preschoolers say 'I don't wanna go' and how they communicate distress through behavior, stories, and resistance.

We'll explore how different rules and environments can create nervous system distress in children and how parents can respond effectively.

This episode is useful for co-parents, married parents or partners with different parenting styles, grandparents, daycare transitions, and more. We will also cover five common ways toddlers communicate nervous system distress and discuss how to respond without shutting them down. Join us to learn how to better understand and support your child's behavior and meltdowns.

00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:03 Understanding Toddler Communication
00:16 Why Kids Say 'I Don't Wanna Go'
00:22 Nervous System Distress in Toddlers
00:48 Toddlers Don't Lie: A Deeper Look
02:04 Behavior as Communication
03:39 Five Common Ways Toddlers Communicate Distress
04:23 Avoidance as a Coping Strategy
05:19 Symbolic Communication: Making Up Stories
10:57 Fear of Being Alone: Sleep and Separation
13:05 Dysregulation at Pickup and Drop Off
14:21 Clinging to One Parent
15:20 How Not to Shut Down Your Child's Distress
17:55 Clarifying the Truth Without Teaching Fear
21:27 In Closing: Supporting Your Toddler's Communication
22:50 Resources and Next Steps

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog

Why Your Toddler Keeps Melting Down: The Pattern You’re Missing

✨📝Featured Article:

10 Toddler Parenting Tips From Experts You Can Use Today (What Toddler Experts Wish Every Parent Knew)

Companion Episode:

The Hidden Reason You Snap and 4 Things That Stop the Cycle

In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast, we'll explore how the hardest moments with your toddler – tantrums, meltdowns, power struggles – aren't the real problem.

Learn about the underlying patterns in both your toddler's behavior and your own reactions. Discover how changing these patterns can ease perfectionism, shame, and blame, and improve your parenting experience.

We'll also touch on personal experiences, the importance of self-compassion, and plans for upcoming podcast episodes and YouTube content. Tune in for practical, heartfelt advice just before the New Year.

00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
00:41 Understanding Toddler Behavior Patterns
01:17 Personal Reflections and Holiday Challenges
02:46 The Toddler Reactivity Loop
04:13 Addressing Root Causes of Toddler Behavior
05:52 Parental Patterns and Self-Compassion
08:03 Breaking the Pattern: Practical Tips
12:54 Final Thoughts and Upcoming Plans

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"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!

Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

• Grab the The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
• Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
• Join the Toddler Mom Community
• Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
• Watch the YouTube channel
• Check out the blog