What if the real problem isn’t what you say, but the energy that carries it? We take you inside the quiet mechanics of relationship communication and show how tone, body language, and nervous system state can derail even the fairest message before it lands. When only a small fraction of meaning rides on words, the sigh, the clipped reply, and the raised eyebrow can speak volumes—and trigger a fight you never meant to start.

We map the moments where couples go off track: meeting each other at the end of a long day, stuck in logistics, feeling unseen, and letting stress power the delivery. From there, we offer a clear, repeatable process to shift outcomes. First, check your body: breath, heart rate, and the urge to predict your partner’s reaction. If you’re activated, pause and regulate with a short breathwork pattern that lengthens your exhale. Then return with curiosity and an “I” statement that owns your feeling and names a simple, specific request. You’ll hear everyday examples—like a softer way to ask about the forgotten milk—that show how small changes to tone protect connection and reduce defensiveness.

We also talk about the deeper work: why negative sentiment override takes hold, how unspoken resentment and old patterns amplify minor issues, and why nervous system regulation is foundational for repair. When you practise calm before communicating, you create emotional safety, shorten ruptures, and make space to actually hear each other. If you’re ready to experiment, grab our free “Calm Before Communicating” guide and three‑minute video to start regulating before the hard talks. If you want a bigger reset, our 12‑week Reconnected Union helps you deconstruct and rebuild your relationship’s foundation with practical tools and guided support. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs a gentler script, and leave a review to help more couples find a calmer way to connect.

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

What if trauma isn’t what happened, but the meaning you keep choosing right now? We sit down with transformational guide Mana Abraham to reframe trauma as memory plus meaning and trace how that lens quietly builds identities that run our relationships: the “nice guy” who avoids conflict, the achiever proving they can’t be rejected, the partner who controls intimacy to feel safe. When those roles are powered by fear, our strengths flip into triggers, and love turns into management.

We unpack practical ways to meet each other’s minds instead of fighting each other’s behaviours. Curiosity beats certainty. One more question creates sense‑making: “You’re not dismissing me; you’re protecting us from scarcity.” We get into intimacy blocks, too, from mismatched libido to the giver‑receiver tangle that makes sex a performance instead of presence. Manna shows how sovereignty and non‑attachment shift desire from negotiation to genuine connection, and why congruence matters more than techniques. See your partner as a magical being and your energy invites that becoming.

Here’s the liberating pivot: change doesn’t require digging through timelines. The past is a training wheel; the present is the steering. The mind holds memory, ego, subconscious and discernment, and discernment is the missing muscle. Consistent, conscious choice in this moment rewires patterns because the mind follows what’s repeated, not what’s righteous. Drop attachment to meanings, charge your own battery, and love becomes less transactional and more expansive. We wrap with Manna’s Finally Free framework and EMPR method, plus where to find her book and free trainings.

If this conversation sparked something, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the one meaning you’re ready to drop.

To access Manna's free resources, book "Finally Free" and her world-renowned EMPR method, visit: mannaabraham.com

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

Navigating the festive season with your partner can sometimes feel like a tightrope walk through social obligations, family gatherings, and holiday stress. Imagine having a toolkit to maintain harmony and connection even amidst the chaos. That's exactly what we explore in this episode, where we share personal anecdotes and insights into tackling relationship challenges that often arise during the holidays. From dealing with increased socialization and the stress of family visits to managing anxiety and past traumas, discover how proactive communication and teamwork can turn potential pitfalls into opportunities for deeper connection and support.

Building on this foundation, we highlight the transformative power of effective communication in nurturing your relationship's growth, particularly during the bustling holiday season. Learn how to set aside dedicated time for meaningful conversations, using techniques like "I" statements, to express personal feelings and needs without triggering defensiveness or conflict. We introduce a program designed to foster safety, clarity, and intimacy, helping to reignite passion and reduce burnout. Finally, as we look toward 2025, we encourage you to savor each moment of presence with loved ones, embracing the growth and thrilling new opportunities the new year promises. Join us on this journey as we share our experiences and insights, aiming to enhance your festive experience and strengthen your relationship.

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

Ever felt like kindness is your superpower, yet your relationship still feels flat, tense, or strangely distant? Michael goes solo to unpack the quiet patterns that so many men mistake for love: covert contracts, conflict avoidance, and the endless chase for approval that looks like connection but drains desire. Through candid personal stories and clear frameworks, he lays out why these strategies once kept you safe, why they now sabotage intimacy, and how to trade people pleasing for honest, grounded presence.

We explore the five core behaviours that silently erode trust: giving with hidden expectations, smoothing over every disagreement, seeking validation instead of being known, suppressing direction out of fear of being controlling, and overgiving that creates pressure rather than warmth. You’ll hear what happens inside a partnership when needs go unnamed, why “I’m fine” breaks trust, and how a lack of clear leadership forces your partner into roles she never wanted. Michael shows how authenticity and simple, steady direction can restore polarity, safety, and attraction.

Expect practical steps you can use today: naming a need without defensiveness, inviting healthy conflict without escalation, offering plans with room for choice, and giving without a ledger. If phrases like “I say yes when I mean no” or “I give so much and feel unseen” ring true, this conversation offers a path back to truth, clarity, and real closeness. For more support, check out No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover and our coaching options for one‑on‑one or group work where you can practise these shifts in safety.

If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more couples can find these tools. Your stories and questions shape future episodes—message us on Instagram or Facebook to keep the conversation going.

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

Ever felt like the bedroom turned into a stage and you forgot your lines? We sat down with men’s coach Shay Doran to explore why performance anxiety is so common, how it hijacks the body’s physiology and what it really takes to restore ease, desire and connection. Shay’s lived experience brings rare honesty to a topic many couples avoid: erection challenges, premature or delayed ejaculation and the shame-laced stories that grow around them.

We trace the roots where they often begin—early pressure to perform, moments of sexual shame, and the dopamine flood of porn that trains the brain to expect instant novelty and zero rejection. Shay explains the science in plain terms: calm parasympathetic tone helps you get and keep an erection, while healthy sympathetic arousal carries you over into orgasm. When anxiety spikes, blood moves to survival systems, not genitals, and everything gets harder, literally and figuratively. Pills can boost firmness, but they don’t create calm but mindset and nervous system skills do the heavy lifting.

This conversation is practical and relational. We talk about how partners can respond without blame, why appreciation and non-goal touch rebuild trust, and how communication outside the bedroom fuels desire inside it. We look at the “performance anxiety loop”—a cycle of bad experiences, anxious questions and fixed beliefs—and how to break it with clearer understanding, slower pacing and more presence. Along the way, we unpack why “duty sex” deadens desire and how shifting from proving to feeling turns sex into lovemaking again.

If you or your partner are navigating erection anxiety or intimacy that feels stuck, this episode offers relief, language and next steps. Check the show notes for Shay’s YouTube channel and a free 10‑question performance anxiety quiz to map your personal triggers. If this helped, follow the show, share it with a friend and leave a quick review to help more couples find their way back to connection.

Find Shay Doran on Youtube: www.youtube.com/@shay-doran
Take the quiz: https://shay-doran.com/free-quiz/
Here's his website: shay-doran.com

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

What if the “strong one” is secretly exhausted and aching to exhale? We dive into the hidden pattern of hyper-independence, why control often masks fear, and how couples can rebuild trust by trading silent resentment for steady leadership and genuine surrender. Drawing on our own journey and the breakthroughs from our recent couples retreat, we unpack the subtle, everyday moments that push partners apart: micromanaging, avoiding, redoing, and retreating to work because it feels safer than getting it “wrong.”

We share a simple roadmap that actually works in real homes. For men, it starts with accountability and presence: manage your energy, meet intensity with calm, and follow through on what you say. Think benevolent King energy—grounded, reliable, and in service to the relationship. For women, the shift begins with awareness and allowance: notice where you jump in, let imperfect attempts stand, and offer appreciation to reinforce what you want more of. When he leads with integrity, her body relaxes. When she softens, he feels accepted and steps in more. That loop turns roommates into teammates and restores the polarity that fuels intimacy.

You’ll hear practical language to use during tense moments, how to recognise the fear beneath control, and why “coming closer” beats “walking away” when spikes are out. We also explore origin stories—childhood roles, working patterns, and the moment kids arrive—and how these shape adult dynamics without us noticing. If you’re one or two tools away from a better rhythm, this conversation gives you the cues to start today: ground, allow, appreciate, and act with consistency. Love feels different when safety returns.

If this resonated, share it with a friend who needs relief, subscribe for more grounded relationship tools, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your story might be the nudge another couple needs to thrive again.

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

What if the life that proves you’re winning is the same life that’s quietly draining the colour from your home, your body, and your heart? We invited our friend of 20 years, Andrew Boniface—dad to twin girls and former helicopter pilot—to share how the grind he once wore with pride became an addiction to stress that cost him his marriage and nearly his sense of self. His story isn’t polished; it’s honest. And in that honesty sits a map for any man who suspects constant urgency has replaced real connection.

Andrew takes us from the cockpit to the lounge room, showing how hustle culture rewires the nervous system, shrinks emotional range, and turns relationships into background noise. He explains the shift from fight or flight into rest and digest, and why slowing down is leadership, not laziness. We dig into men’s work, somatic practices, and the discipline of feeling what’s uncomfortable so joy can return. Along the way, we tackle people pleasing and the “covert contracts” that sabotage trust, replacing them with a simple, brave practice: know your needs and say them out loud.

We also walk through the realities of co‑parenting after separation, dating with kids in the mix, and setting timelines and expectations with care. Andrew shares how skills from high‑risk aviation—communication, teamwork, leadership—translate at home when guided by presence and heart. He’s now building programs for fathers and male‑dominated workplaces, and hosting dad retreats on the Sunshine Coast to lift men’s emotional fitness and family leadership.

If you’ve ever felt successful and strangely empty, this conversation offers language, tools, and hope. Listen to reframe performance around joy and connection, and to hear how a man can become the steady, loving presence his family craves. If it lands, subscribe, share with a mate, and leave a review—then tell us: what’s one place you’ll slow down this week?

Contact Andrew here: https://www.facebook.com/andrew.boniface.50

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call

Ever wondered why “I want sex” often really means “I want to feel close”? We open up about the different meanings men and women attach to intimacy and how those hidden needs—safety, reassurance, being desired, and presence—shape desire more than timing or technique ever could. Starting with our simple P.I.E. check‑in (physical, intellectual, emotional), we show how everyday connection becomes the quiet foreplay that makes intimacy feel natural instead of pressured.

We talk honestly about mismatched libido, rejection spirals, and duty sex that drains energy. For him, sex can be a deep signal of acceptance and belonging, not just a physical release. For her, desire often grows from safety, emotional attunement, and a pathway out of the mental load and back into the body. You’ll hear practical ways to bridge that gap: appreciation that’s specific and genuine, non‑sexual touch that builds trust, and language that invites closeness—“I want to feel closer to you”—instead of demands. We also explore curiosity around kinks and preferences, asking why certain dynamics matter so partners can meet each other with empathy and clear boundaries.

If resentment, busyness, or past hurt are dulling your spark, these tools help you rebuild intimacy as a shared practice. Think week‑long foreplay, slower pacing, consent that’s enthusiastic, and post‑intimacy care that leaves you both resourced. By talking about what sex truly provides, couples can move from misunderstanding to a kinder, more connected sexual culture at home.

If you’re ready to move from disconnect to deeper intimacy, apply for our one‑day Couples Connection retreat in Agnes Water—limited spots. Subscribe, share this with a partner, and leave a review with your biggest insight so we can keep creating what helps most.

Thankyou for listening, if you liked it, please remember to subscribe.

Join our Private "Thriving relationships - Deepening connection to self and others" community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1107209283451758/

Website: https://michaelandamy.com.au/

Join our free 7 day relationship challenge: https://michaelandamy.com.au/free-relationship-challenge

If you would like to book in a private discovery call with us, here is the link: https://michaelandamy.com.au/call