Have you ever come away from a social interaction feeling drained and ready to hibernate?

Most online advice is quick to place blame and tells us that it’s the wrong person for you. You should ‘cut them off,’ ‘they’re toxic.’ Or that you need to heal and ‘protect your peace.’ But what is misses is why that exhausted feeling comes up in the first place and how to treat that as information to decide who should have access to different areas of our lives.

In this episode: I give you 7 signs to start to pay attention to, what those signs mean, why we may be ignoring them, how to listen to your nervous system and become more discerning, and what learning to trust myself has changed for me.

Grab a tea and let’s get into it 🤍

Question of the episode

Who do you become when you're around the people in your life?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and if you’ve experienced any of these signs. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram — I read every single one.

Find YALARA

Follow @yalaracollective on Instagram for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, self-trust and personal growth.

Come behind the scenes on my podcasting process

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, the best thing you can do is follow the show, share an episode with someone who needs to hear it, or leave a rating/review. It genuinely helps more women find the podcast.

Chapters

0:00 — Why being around certain people leaves you drained

2:40 — It’s an access problem

5:08 — When you feel relieved to leave

7:54 — Not everyone who drains you is toxic

10:54 — Why we keep going back

13:56 — The signs your body is giving you

17:32 — Sign 1: Overexplaining

18:59 — Sign 2: Feeling unsure or awkward

19:40 — Sign 3: Rehearsing, editing and filtering

22:30 — Compatibility doesn’t mean cutting people off

23:54 — Sign 4: Doing something more than usual

24:21 — Sign 5: Physical sensations

27:09 — Sign 6: Relief when plans are cancelled

28:45 — Sign 7: Replaying conversations

29:18 — Why we ignore the signs

40:51 — How to become more discerning

49:07 — Recalibrating your energy

51:04 — Learning to trust yourself

52:36 — Giving people different levels of access

54:45 — What self-trust changes

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, entertainment, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

Have you ever known that something isn't okay for you, but still found yourself accepting it?

We talk about boundaries so much, but I think for a lot of us, the problem isn't that we don't know what our boundaries are. It's that we're scared of what will happen when we actually set them. What if they don't like us anymore? What if they leave? What if the relationship changes?

In this episode, I talk about why we're so scared to set boundaries, how our need to fit in and be liked can teach us to ignore what we actually want, and why setting a boundary isn't just about saying what you're not okay with. It's about what you choose to accept afterwards.

Question of the episode

Where in your life do you already know something isn't okay for you, but you're scared of what might happen if you actually set that boundary?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram — I read every single one.

Find YALARA

Follow @yalaracollective on Instagram for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, alignment and personal growth.

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, the best thing you can do is follow the show, share an episode with someone who needs to hear it, or leave a rating/review. It genuinely helps more women find the podcast.

Chapters

00:00 – You know your boundaries, you're afraid of what they'll change

01:31 – Why we’re so afraid to set boundaries

04:20 – How we learn to override ourselves to fit in

11:19 – Why familiarity keeps us in patterns that don't feelgood

14:01 – How not setting boundaries conditions the dynamic

16:04 – You’re not responsible for other people’s behaviour

18:36 – The relationship pattern that finally made this real for me

20:00 – Why saying a boundary once isn't enough

24:33 – Boundaries become a filter for people and experiences

28:57 – Boundaries rebuild self-trust

32:13 - You don't need to fear pushing away the right people

32:59 - You already know

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, entertainment, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

Have you ever noticed how much easier it becomes to doubt yourself after you've put something off for the tenth time?

We often think procrastination is about laziness, motivation or discipline, but what if it's actually something much deeper? Every time we tell ourselves we'll do something and don't follow through, we're collecting evidence that our own word can't be trusted. Over time, that doesn't just affect our productivity, it changes how we see ourselves.

In this episode, we explore why self-trust is built (and broken), why starting often feels like the hardest part, and how rebuilding confidence isn't about becoming more disciplined overnight. It's about creating evidence that you are someone who shows up for yourself, one small promise at a time.

Inside this episode:

• Why breaking promises to yourself slowly erodes self-trust
• Why procrastination is often about fear, perfectionism and identity rather than laziness
• The gap between who you believe you are and who you believe achieves your goals
• Why consistency matters more than unrealistic ambition
• Practical techniques to make starting feel easier, including the five-minute method
• How to build evidence that strengthens yourself-trust
• Why celebrating small wins can completely change the way you see yourself
• The connection between self-trust, self-worth and trusting your inner voice

Question of the episode

What's one promise you've been repeatedly breaking to yourself? And what's one small thing you could follow through on today to begin rebuilding that trust?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram - I read every single one.

Instagram

Follow along for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, alignment and personal growth:

@yalaracollective

I'd also love to hear your thoughts on the episode. Feel free to send me a DM or join the conversation in the comments.

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, following the show, downloading another episode and leaving a rating or review are some of the best ways to support it and help more women discover these conversations. Following also means you'll never miss a future episode.

Thank you for being here, it genuinely means so much.

Chapters

00:00 Why You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself

04:44 The Hidden Cost of Inconsistency

09:59 Consistency Comes Before Bigger Goals

11:38 Make Starting Easier

14:49 The Identity Gap

19:04 Boundaries Are Promises Too

20:07 Practical Ways to Rebuild Self-Trust

23:15 Build a Portfolio of Proof

32:05 Trusting Yourself Changes Everything

References mentioned

• Brian Tracy – Eat That Frog! (referenced while discussing task prioritisation)
• Tam Kaur – creator of the phrase "Portfolio of Proof", which I discuss while exploring self-trust and building evidence of what you’re capable of.

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, educational, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

We hear so much about positive self-talk, but have you ever stopped to ask why the way we speak to ourselves has so much power?

In this episode, we explore where our inner voice comes from, why it often feels like the truth even when it isn't, and how the thoughts we repeatedly tell ourselves shape our identity, behaviour and the reality we experience.

Through reflections on childhood, affirmations and self-image, we unpack why changing the way we speak to ourselves isn't about pretending everything is positive - it's about understanding how our inner voice works, and why becoming aware of it is the first step towards changing it.

If you've ever caught yourself saying "I'm so awkward," "Don't be annoying," or "I'm just that kind of person," this episode is for you.

Inside this episode:

• Why your inner voice feels more believable than anyone else's
• Where our self-talk actually comes from
• How repetition quietly shapes identity and behaviour
• Why affirmations work (and why they're often misunderstood)
• Why we become our own harshest critic and our self-image
• How becoming aware of your inner voice can begin changing your reality

Question of the episode

What's one thing you've noticed yourself repeatedly saying about yourself?

Is it actually true or has it just become familiar?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram - I read every single one.

Instagram

Follow along for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, alignment and personal growth:

@yalaracollective

I'd also love to hear your thoughts on the episode. Feel free to send me a DM or join the conversation in the comments.

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, following the showand leaving a rating or review are some of the best ways to support it and help more women discover these conversations. Following also means you'll never missa future episode.

Thank you for being here, it genuinely means so much.

Chapters

00:00 – Intro

01:45 – Why your inner voice matters

05:13 – The voice we learn to believe

09:40 – Repetition, identity & behaviour

11:44 – Becoming conscious

16:40 – Why affirmations actually work

18:34 – Learning to speak to yourself differently

23:31 – Changing the story you repeat

28:12 – Conclusion

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general informational, educational, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

Why do some versions of us seem to come alive in certain places... and disappear completely in others?

In this episode, we explore how our environments quietly shape our identity, why familiarity often keeps us stuck, and why becoming someone new is about more than simply changing your mindset.

Through stories about school, moving back home after university, and a solo trip to Venice that completely changed my relationship with discomfort, we look at why growth often requires stepping outside the places, routines and identities that once felt safe.

If you've ever felt like you've outgrown your life but don't know why it's so difficult to move forward, this episode is for you.

Inside this episode:

• Why environments reinforce old versions of ourselves
• How social validation shapes identity long after school
• Why familiarity can feel safer than alignment
• The difference between comfort, stretch and real growth
• How one solo trip transformed my relationship with discomfort
• Why the life you want may require becoming unfamiliar to yourself first

The story that changed everything:

The second half of this episode follows my first solo tripto Venice - a story that begins with fear and ends with a completely different relationship to discomfort.

If you've been waiting for a sign to do the thing that scares you, I hope this story lights a fire within you. More than anything, I hope it leaves you feeling excited by the possibility that the life you're looking for might be waiting just beyond what's familiar.

Question of the episode:

Have you ever noticed yourself becoming a different versionof yourself depending on where you are?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram - I read every single one.

Instagram:

Follow along for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, alignment and personal growth:

@yalaracollective

Support the podcast:

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, leaving a rating or review is one of the best ways to support the show and help more women discover it. Thank you for being here, it genuinely means so much.

Chapters:

00:00 – Intro

01:18 – Why We Stay the Same

05:05 – When Home No Longer Fits

15:30 – The Behaviours We Reward

18:34 – Stretch Beyond Comfort

19:07 – The Venice Experiment

29:16 – What Changed in Me

30:55 – The Real Lesson

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general informational, educational, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

In this second episode of The YALARA Podcast, we explore why we can find ourselves repeating the same patterns, even when we consciously want something different. We unpack emotional familiarity, self-protection, and the moments where we have to become honest with ourselves about what we’re choosing and why.

Together, we’ll explore what it looks like to recognise thepatterns shaping our experiences, reconnect with ourselves, and create space for healing, self-trust, and something different.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever looked back atyour life and realised you were repeating a pattern without even noticing? Was there a moment where you became aware of something you needed to change?

For more conversations, insights, podcast updates and behind-the-scenes reflections, find us on Instagram @yalaracollective⁠. My DMs are always open if something in this episode resonated with you.

Disclaimer:

This podcast is intended for general informational, educational, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individualcircumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

Something feels off. Not obviously wrong, not bad enough to complain about, just... off.

In this first episode of The YALARA Podcast, we explore why that feeling isn't random, how external expectations can quietly disconnect us from ourselves, and why the answers we're searching for are often closer than we think.

Together, we'll unpack identity, alignment, inherited blueprints, and what happens when we finally stop long enough to hear ourselves beneath the noise.

This is the beginning of the conversation.

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever had a period in your life where everything looked fine on the surface, but something still felt off? Or was there a moment in your life where things suddenly became clear and you knew what you needed to do next?

For more conversations, insights, podcast updates and behind-the-scenes reflections, find us on Instagram @yalaracollective. My DMs are always open if something in this episode resonated with you.

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, educational, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

I started recording this thinking it was just practice. A little voice note from the bath. Something I’d never post.

But somewhere between the water sounds, the pauses, the overthinking, and the thoughts unfolding in real time, I realised this was actually the perfect way to begin the podcast.

This episode is exactly what I want this space to feel like: honest, reflective, unfiltered conversations about identity, self-trust, growth, emotional patterns, modern life, culture, and the moments where something suddenly clicks.

No performance. No pretending to have all the answers. Just real thoughts, captured as they happen.

Like a late-night FaceTime call, a voice note from a friend, or the conversations we have with ourselves when everything finally goes quiet.

If you’re here, I’m really glad you found this space.

Trust yourself. I’ll see you in the first episode.

Instagram: @yalaracollective for more thoughts between episodes