Have you ever come away from a social interaction feeling drained and ready to hibernate?

Most online advice is quick to place blame and tells us that it’s the wrong person for you. You should ‘cut them off,’ ‘they’re toxic.’ Or that you need to heal and ‘protect your peace.’ But what is misses is why that exhausted feeling comes up in the first place and how to treat that as information to decide who should have access to different areas of our lives.

In this episode: I give you 7 signs to start to pay attention to, what those signs mean, why we may be ignoring them, how to listen to your nervous system and become more discerning, and what learning to trust myself has changed for me.

Grab a tea and let’s get into it 🤍

Question of the episode

Who do you become when you're around the people in your life?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and if you’ve experienced any of these signs. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram — I read every single one.

Find YALARA

Follow @yalaracollective on Instagram for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, self-trust and personal growth.

Come behind the scenes on my podcasting process

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, the best thing you can do is follow the show, share an episode with someone who needs to hear it, or leave a rating/review. It genuinely helps more women find the podcast.

Chapters

0:00 — Why being around certain people leaves you drained

2:40 — It’s an access problem

5:08 — When you feel relieved to leave

7:54 — Not everyone who drains you is toxic

10:54 — Why we keep going back

13:56 — The signs your body is giving you

17:32 — Sign 1: Overexplaining

18:59 — Sign 2: Feeling unsure or awkward

19:40 — Sign 3: Rehearsing, editing and filtering

22:30 — Compatibility doesn’t mean cutting people off

23:54 — Sign 4: Doing something more than usual

24:21 — Sign 5: Physical sensations

27:09 — Sign 6: Relief when plans are cancelled

28:45 — Sign 7: Replaying conversations

29:18 — Why we ignore the signs

40:51 — How to become more discerning

49:07 — Recalibrating your energy

51:04 — Learning to trust yourself

52:36 — Giving people different levels of access

54:45 — What self-trust changes

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, entertainment, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

Have you ever known that something isn't okay for you, but still found yourself accepting it?

We talk about boundaries so much, but I think for a lot of us, the problem isn't that we don't know what our boundaries are. It's that we're scared of what will happen when we actually set them. What if they don't like us anymore? What if they leave? What if the relationship changes?

In this episode, I talk about why we're so scared to set boundaries, how our need to fit in and be liked can teach us to ignore what we actually want, and why setting a boundary isn't just about saying what you're not okay with. It's about what you choose to accept afterwards.

Question of the episode

Where in your life do you already know something isn't okay for you, but you're scared of what might happen if you actually set that boundary?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram — I read every single one.

Find YALARA

Follow @yalaracollective on Instagram for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, alignment and personal growth.

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, the best thing you can do is follow the show, share an episode with someone who needs to hear it, or leave a rating/review. It genuinely helps more women find the podcast.

Chapters

00:00 – You know your boundaries, you're afraid of what they'll change

01:31 – Why we’re so afraid to set boundaries

04:20 – How we learn to override ourselves to fit in

11:19 – Why familiarity keeps us in patterns that don't feelgood

14:01 – How not setting boundaries conditions the dynamic

16:04 – You’re not responsible for other people’s behaviour

18:36 – The relationship pattern that finally made this real for me

20:00 – Why saying a boundary once isn't enough

24:33 – Boundaries become a filter for people and experiences

28:57 – Boundaries rebuild self-trust

32:13 - You don't need to fear pushing away the right people

32:59 - You already know

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, entertainment, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.

Have you ever noticed how much easier it becomes to doubt yourself after you've put something off for the tenth time?

We often think procrastination is about laziness, motivation or discipline, but what if it's actually something much deeper? Every time we tell ourselves we'll do something and don't follow through, we're collecting evidence that our own word can't be trusted. Over time, that doesn't just affect our productivity, it changes how we see ourselves.

In this episode, we explore why self-trust is built (and broken), why starting often feels like the hardest part, and how rebuilding confidence isn't about becoming more disciplined overnight. It's about creating evidence that you are someone who shows up for yourself, one small promise at a time.

Inside this episode:

• Why breaking promises to yourself slowly erodes self-trust
• Why procrastination is often about fear, perfectionism and identity rather than laziness
• The gap between who you believe you are and who you believe achieves your goals
• Why consistency matters more than unrealistic ambition
• Practical techniques to make starting feel easier, including the five-minute method
• How to build evidence that strengthens yourself-trust
• Why celebrating small wins can completely change the way you see yourself
• The connection between self-trust, self-worth and trusting your inner voice

Question of the episode

What's one promise you've been repeatedly breaking to yourself? And what's one small thing you could follow through on today to begin rebuilding that trust?

I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a comment on Spotify or send me a message on Instagram - I read every single one.

Instagram

Follow along for podcast updates, behind-the-scenes content and more conversations around identity, alignment and personal growth:

@yalaracollective

I'd also love to hear your thoughts on the episode. Feel free to send me a DM or join the conversation in the comments.

Support the podcast

If you're enjoying The YALARA Podcast, following the show, downloading another episode and leaving a rating or review are some of the best ways to support it and help more women discover these conversations. Following also means you'll never miss a future episode.

Thank you for being here, it genuinely means so much.

Chapters

00:00 Why You Keep Breaking Promises to Yourself

04:44 The Hidden Cost of Inconsistency

09:59 Consistency Comes Before Bigger Goals

11:38 Make Starting Easier

14:49 The Identity Gap

19:04 Boundaries Are Promises Too

20:07 Practical Ways to Rebuild Self-Trust

23:15 Build a Portfolio of Proof

32:05 Trusting Yourself Changes Everything

References mentioned

• Brian Tracy – Eat That Frog! (referenced while discussing task prioritisation)
• Tam Kaur – creator of the phrase "Portfolio of Proof", which I discuss while exploring self-trust and building evidence of what you’re capable of.

Disclaimer:
This podcast is intended for general informational, educational, and reflective purposes only. The thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and ideas shared are based on personal experiences and reflections and are not intended as professional advice or a replacement for support from a qualified professional.

Please use your own judgement and consider your individual circumstances before taking action based on anything shared on this podcast. Naomi Gershlick (creator of YALARA) is not responsible or liable for any decisions, actions, or outcomes resulting from your use of this content.