Summary
In this heartfelt episode of The Resilience Project, host Julie Brumley engages in a candid conversation with her mother, Karen, about their experiences with adoption. Julie expresses her gratitude for her mother's unwavering support and love throughout her life, emphasizing the importance of understanding the complexities of adoption from both the adoptee's and adoptive parent's perspectives. Karen shares her journey of becoming a mother through adoption, her initial feelings, and the evolution of her understanding of what it means to raise an adopted child. The discussion delves into the emotional nuances of adoption, including the fears and joys that come with it, and the significance of open communication in their relationship.

As they reflect on their shared experiences, Karen reveals her initial apprehensions about Julie's work with adoptees, but ultimately expresses pride in her daughter's commitment to advocating for the adoption community. The episode highlights the importance of love, acceptance, and the ongoing journey of understanding the impact of adoption on both sides of the equation. Through their dialogue, Julie and Karen demonstrate the power of vulnerability and connection in navigating the complexities of family dynamics and identity.

Keywords
adoption, mother-daughter relationship, resilience, adoptee experience, family dynamics, emotional journey, open communication, understanding adoption, love and acceptance

Takeaways
"I feel like we've stolen something precious because we weren't planning on taking you home."
"You were the one that I know in my heart 100% was from day one."
"You have to work through it, learn, in sessions like you provide."

Sound bites
"You were the one that I know in my heart 100% was from day one."
"They would be led by love and follow with action."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction: A Special Guest
01:45 Karen's Perspective on Motherhood
05:42 The Decision to Adopt
08:39 First Impressions: Meeting Julie
15:37 Understanding Adoption: Theories and Realities
18:33 Navigating Emotions: Protecting and Supporting Julie
22:31 The Importance of Feeling Adored
26:24 Connecting with Birth Family: A Journey of Discovery
27:50 Meeting the Birth Family
29:56 Evolving Perspectives on Adoption
34:24 Misunderstandings About Adoption
35:50 The Unspoken Fears of Adoptive Parents
39:03 Watching the Work with Adoptees
42:30 The Importance of Dialogue in Relationships
44:31 Raising an Adopted Child: Key Insights
47:39 Loving Beyond Biology

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

Summary
In this conversation, Julie Brumley explores the core issues faced by adoptees, particularly focusing on rejection and its profound impact on identity and emotional health. She discusses the emotional imprints of rejection, the concept of rejection sensitivity, and provides practical exercises for processing and reframing limiting beliefs. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and emotional regulation in overcoming the challenges associated with adoption.

Takeaways

• Adoptees wrestle with core issues like identity, loss, rejection, shame, guilt, and grief.
• Rejection is a powerful experience that occurs pre-verbally for adoptees.
• Emotional imprints of rejection shape how adoptees anticipate and guard against it.
• Fear of rejection can lead to self-sabotage and misreading situations.
• Identifying and reframing limiting beliefs is crucial for healing.
• Sensitivity in adoptees may be linked to rejection sensitivity dysphoria and ADHD.
• Emotional regulation is essential for dealing with rejection.
• Practical exercises can help process negative messages from childhood.
• Transforming limiting beliefs into positive affirmations is a key step in healing.
• Support and resources are available for those navigating these challenges.

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Core Issues in Adoption
02:43 Understanding Rejection in Adoption
06:02 Rejection Sensitivity and Emotional Dysregulation
09:55 Identifying and Reframing Limiting Beliefs
15:15 Practical Exercise for Overcoming Limiting Beliefs
22:17 Conclusion and Resources for Support

Keywords
adoption, rejection, emotional health, limiting beliefs, identity, adoptees, self-acceptance, emotional regulation, trauma, personal growth

Shame and Guilt episode link - https://www.buzzsprout.com/2549404/episodes/18222388

Processing Emotions Exercise -https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/btaYBmJo/checkout

PDF of Slides from Video - https://drive.google.com/file/d/15eR4Pv-pElupM9chwgU8ezSrNXH-G1SS/view?usp=sharing

Perspective Shift Exercise -https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/DA8Me58N/checkout

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

As we move into a new year, this episode feels especially meaningful.

In today’s conversation, I’m sharing a powerful episode recorded with my longtime friend and fellow coach, Becky, from about a year ago - during a season when both of us were deeply immersed in our own journeys of identity, healing, and self-discovery.

At the time, neither of us could have fully known how much would continue to unfold in the months ahead. And yet, listening back now, I’m struck by how relevant and grounding this conversation still is - especially as we reflect on what it means to truly come home to ourselves.

Together, we explore:

• what identity really means beyond labels and roles
• how trauma responses can quietly shape who we believe we are
• the difference between ego, intuition, and survival energy
• why somatic work is essential for creating safety in the body
• how shame loses its power through compassion and connection
• and what it looks like to reclaim belonging from within

We also talk openly about the early stages of my own healing journey—when I couldn’t answer the question “Who am I?” without collapsing into shame—and the gradual, gentle process of learning to trust my body, my intuition, and myself again.

This episode isn’t about having it all figured out.
It’s about honoring the small, consistent shifts that create lasting transformation over time.

If you’re entering this new year feeling uncertain, tender, or quietly hopeful…
If you’re learning to listen to yourself instead of pushing through…
If you’re beginning—or continuing—the journey of coming home to who you really are… this conversation is for you.

✨ Key Themes

• Identity as an evolving, embodied experience
• The role of somatic healing in self-discovery
• Shame, self-compassion, and parts work
• Ego vs. intuition and learning to trust inner wisdom
• Healing as a process of integration, not perfection

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Breakthroughs
02:40 The Power of Connection and Friendship
05:25 Understanding Identity
10:51 The Journey of Self-Discovery
16:28 Practical Steps to Embrace Intuition
22:07 Transforming Triggers into Triumphs
27:37 The Role of Somatic Work in Healing
33:24 Creating a Community for Adoptees
38:53 Conclusion and Call to Action

Keywords
breakthrough, identity, self-discovery, somatic work, intuition, trauma, healing, friendship, community, empowerment

Get the Ego vs Intuition Slide Deck here -https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/oLhNBhLZ/checkout

Connect with Becky here - https://www.instagram.com/becky_aste/

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

Keywords
adoption, identity, family, heritage, emotions, personal growth, belonging, reunion, cultural connections, resilience

Takeaways
The importance of understanding one's identity and heritage.
Experiencing a sense of home can be transformative.
Cultural connections can deepen one's understanding of self.
Reunion with biological family can evoke strong emotions.
Navigating relationships requires understanding and effort.
Emotional intelligence is crucial for personal growth.
Adoption experiences shape family dynamics and communication.
Self-awareness is key to emotional well-being.
Creating traditions can foster a sense of belonging.
Seeking understanding is essential for personal and relational growth.

Summary
In this episode of the Resilience Project, Julie and her sons, Cole and Sutton, explore their experiences with adoption, identity, and family dynamics. They discuss the significance of cultural heritage, the emotional impact of reunions with biological family, and the journey of self-discovery. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding one's roots, navigating relationships, and the role of emotional intelligence in personal growth. Through laughter and heartfelt moments, they share insights on how their unique experiences shape their perspectives on family and belonging.

Sound bites
"We start the podcast laughing."
"We're half adopted."
"Seek understanding about it."
"Self-Awareness is key"

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to the Resilience Project
04:15 Exploring Identity and Home
07:55 Cultural Connections and Heritage
12:29 The Impact of Reunion and Family
17:03 Navigating New Relationships and Traditions
27:17 Embracing Uncomfortable Growth
32:09 Understanding Through Life Experiences
39:53 Navigating Emotional Connections
46:09 The Importance of Self-Discovery
50:41 Seeking Wisdom and Understanding

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

Connect with Mike here - https://www.facebook.com/mike.potratz.2025

Keywords
adoptee, resilience, somatic healing, trauma-informed coaching, mental health, self-discovery, emotional healing, personal growth, community support, empathy

Summary
In this episode of the Resilience Project Podcast, host Julie Brumley interviews Mike, a client who shares his journey as an adoptee navigating trauma and healing. They discuss the challenges of feeling like a misfit, the turning points that led Mike to seek help, and the transformative power of somatic work. The conversation emphasizes the importance of community, trust, and self-discovery in the healing process, as well as the unique experiences of adoptees. Mike's insights provide encouragement for others facing similar struggles, highlighting that change is possible and worth pursuing.

Takeaways
Mike describes feeling like a misfit in his own skin.
The turning point for Mike was discovering the book 'Primal Wound'.
Adoptees often adapt to fit in, leading to a chameleon effect.
Isolation can be exacerbated by past relationships and societal perceptions.
Building trust in a coaching relationship is crucial for healing.
Somatic work has provided Mike with tools to connect with his emotions.
Writing has become a powerful tool for self-reflection for Mike.
Mike emphasizes the importance of empathy in relationships.
The journey of healing is not easy but is worth it.
Mike encourages others to seek help and not to fear the process.

Sound bites
"I belong everywhere and nowhere."
"You don't have to live like this."
"Empathy was locked away inside me."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Mike's Journey
03:48 Exploring Identity and Adoption
05:42 The Impact of Divorce and Loneliness
07:42 Understanding the Need for Change
09:05 Navigating Relationships and Acceptance
10:53 The Role of Coaching and Support
12:39 The Power of Somatic Work
15:12 Experiencing Empathy and Healing
20:45 Exploring Emotional Awareness
22:24 Uncovering Life Patterns
24:12 Accessing Inner Worlds
25:02 Empathy and Relational Changes
26:42 Pride in Personal Growth
27:55 Navigating Difficult Emotions
29:39 Encouragement for the Stuck
29:59 Facing Fears in Healing
30:27 The Value of Shared Experience
31:40 The Coaching Experience
33:14 Hope for the Future
34:27 NEWCHAPTER

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

In this week’s episode of The Resilience Project, I’m joined by two of my closest friends — Becky and Erin — for a raw and tender conversation about grief. Not the polished kind, not the kind we talk about in theory… but the grief that lives in real life, real bodies, and real friendships.

We recorded this together in La Quinta, sitting in the same condo with mountains behind us and a whole lot of emotion between us. Each of us showed up carrying something different - Becky in the fresh ache of losing her mom, Erin reactivated by memories of the loss of her own parents, and me navigating the layers of grief tied to the two year anniversary of my divorce.

This conversation was three women showing up honestly with what was real - and realizing there was something here worth sharing.

Together, we talk about:

• how grief moves differently for each of us
• what it looks like to hold space for friends you love
• the waves of sorrow and joy that often coexist
• how grief shows up in the body and what somatic awareness can reveal
• the simple, practical ways we can care for each other through loss
• and how love - even in grief - continues to change form without disappearing

If you’ve ever found yourself grieving while trying to stay present for the people you love…
If you’ve ever felt the duality of laughing through tears…
If you’re longing for friendship that feels like a safe place to land…

this conversation will feel like you’re sitting right beside us.

Grief is a shared human experience.
It transforms, it teaches, and it brings us back to what matters most - connection, compassion, and the courage to sit with one another in the hard things.

Connect with Becky here - https://www.instagram.com/becky_aste/

Connect with Erin here - https://www.instagram.com/erinantroinen/

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

The Adoptees Journey - Cameron Lee Small

https://a.co/d/4PYHq1p

The Grief Recovery Handbook

https://a.co/d/b3z5QR1

The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency

https://a.co/d/gHgj3LI

Processing Emotions Exercise

https://www.cominghometoself.co/offers/btaYBmJo/checkout

Grief Recovery Specialist - Adoptee - Karen Kagawa

https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com/grms/karen-kagawa

Keywords
adoption, grief, unresolved grief, disenfranchised grief, emotional processing, healing, adoptee experience, personal stories, societal impact, grief recovery

Summary
In this episode of the Resilience Project podcast, Julie Brumley delves into the complex topic of grief as it relates to adoption. She distinguishes grief from loss, emphasizing the unique challenges adoptees face in processing their emotions. Through personal stories and insights, Julie highlights the importance of recognizing unresolved grief and the societal factors that contribute to disenfranchised grief. She shares tools and methods for emotional processing, encouraging listeners to embrace their feelings and seek healing.

Takeaways
Grief is a physiological response to loss.
Unresolved grief can manifest physically in the body.
Disenfranchised grief is often overlooked by society.
Adoptees experience unique layers of grief.
Emotional processing is essential for healing.
Grief can impact relationships and personal identity.
Society's lack of recognition can exacerbate grief.
Healing from grief is a lifelong journey.
It's important to communicate unresolved emotions.
Grieving is a necessary part of the healing process.

Sound bites
"Grief is different from loss."
"Disenfranchised grief isolates us."
"Grief can manifest as anger or guilt."

Chapters
00:00 Understanding Grief in Adoption
02:56 The Impact of Unresolved Grief
05:25 Disenfranchised Grief and Its Effects
08:19 Personal Stories of Grief and Healing
10:49 Navigating Grief Through Emotional Processing
13:28 The Role of Society in Acknowledging Grief
16:22 Tools for Processing Grief
18:53 Moving Forward with Grief Awareness

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley

Here's the link to the reel about Brene's marble jar theory:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DQpIryxjSZO/

Here's the link to Dr. Masaru Emoto's experiement:

https://youtu.be/lUIJjiQCV34?si=PlD8-rAwTG0qc_95

Here's the pdf of what I shared on screen:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Y5HMSpCl3ZW4dYKRVYGBORLK5aKMnF06/view?usp=sharing

Keywords
trust, self-trust, resilience, Brene Brown, personal growth, emotional well-being, marble jar theory, self-love, accountability, relationships

Summary
In this episode, Julie Brumley explores the concept of trust, particularly self-trust, and how it is foundational for building trust in relationships. Drawing from personal experiences and insights from Brene Brown's work, she discusses the importance of self-love, positive self-talk, and the Marble Jar Theory of trust. Julie emphasizes the need to develop intimacy with ourselves and practice self-trust through daily actions that bring joy and connection. The episode concludes with practical strategies for evaluating trustworthiness in ourselves and others using the BRAVING acronym.

Takeaways
Trust begins with ourselves first.
Self-trust is foundational for trusting others.
The Marble Jar Theory illustrates how trust is built.
Positive self-talk is crucial for developing self-trust.
We need to notice what brings us joy.
Practicing self-love helps us treat ourselves kindly.
Building trust takes time and intentionality.
The BRAVING acronym helps evaluate trustworthiness.
Intimacy with ourselves is essential for emotional well-being.
Choosing courage over comfort fosters integrity.

Sound bites
"The way we talk to ourselves truly matters."
"Notice what brings a smile to your face."
"Trust begins with ourselves first."

Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Personal Journey
02:31 Understanding Trust and Self-Trust
05:18 The Marble Jar Theory of Trust
08:21 Building Self-Trust Through Positive Self-Talk
11:01 Practicing Self-Trust and Joy
13:32 The BRAVING Acronym for Trustworthiness
18:12 Conclusion and Call to Action

Website

Instagram: @juliebrumley_

Facebook: julierasbrum

TikTok: @juliebrumley_

Click to Join My Free Adoptee Facebook Group

You Tube: @julie_brumley