What have your friendships taught you about who you are? In this episode of The People Teaching People Podcast, I explore something we start learning about when we are very young and, apparently, never completely figure out: friendship. As a mom, I have watched our three boys navigate the highs, lows, misunderstandings, shifting friend groups, and questions of belonging that come with friendship. Their experiences have brought me back to my own childhood and teenage friendships, while also making me think about the relationships that are part of my life now at 48. Some friendships have known us almost our entire lives. Others find us because we happen to be in the same place at the same time. Some last for decades, while others belong to one meaningful season. There are friendships that make us feel deeply known and friendships that help us understand the difference between fitting in and truly belonging. Through stories of lifelong friends, parenting, marriage, changing friendships, a 30-year school reunion, and some of the people who have surprised me along the way, I reflect on what our friendships can teach us about connection, acceptance, growth, and ourselves. Because perhaps friendship is not something we ever finish learning. The people who walk beside us, whether for a lifetime or for one particular chapter, can all have something to teach us. Listen in as we talk about: 01:00 Reflections on friendship 03:20 Friends who know our history 06:17 The seasons of friendship 08:55 The circles of friendship 13:29 When friendship hurts 15:33 The friend I want to be 17:06 Friendship can still surprise us 17:47 What our friendships teach us Connect with Tiana: Website: https://tianafech.comLinkedIn: Tiana Fech Instagram: @tianafech Facebook: @tianafech Book: Online Course Creation 101: A step-by-step guide to creating your first online course NEW Workbook: Your Expertise Ready to Download – Turn what you know into an impactful downloadable resource FRIENDS WHO KNOW OUR HISTORY Some friendships hold an extraordinary amount of our history. These are the people who knew us before careers, marriage, children, and so many of the experiences that shaped who we are today. I have friendships that began at birth and in Grade 2, and decades later, these are still people I can talk to about almost anything. There is an ease that can come from being known by someone who already understands so much of your backstory. But shared history alone does not keep a lifelong friendship strong. People change, priorities shift, and we become different versions of ourselves over time. Maybe one of the gifts of a lasting friendship is having someone who remembers who we were while still making room for who we are becoming. THE SEASONS OF FRIENDSHIP Many adult friendships begin because life puts us in the same place at the same time. We meet people through our children, work, volunteering, neighbourhoods, conferences, activities, shared interests, and all kinds of ordinary moments. Some of those friendships continue long after the thing that originally brought us together is gone, while others gradually become more distant. I used to think that if a friendship faded, it meant something had gone wrong. I don’t think I believe that anymore. Some people are incredibly important during a particular season of our lives, and a friendship does not have to last forever to have mattered. We can be grateful for the people who walked beside us for part of the journey, even when life eventually takes us in different directions. THE CIRCLES OF FRIENDSHIP I have been thinking about friendship in circles. There are people in that very small inner circle who know almost everything about us, people we care deeply about but may not share every part of our lives with, and people in wider circles who still bring laughter, conversation, encouragement, ideas, or connection. One of the people in my innermost circle is my husband. After 21 years of marriage and raising three children together, we have shared so much life, but we are still two different people with our own interests, friendships, and things we enjoy separately. Closeness does not have to mean doing everything together or seeing everything in exactly the same way. I think some of my own uncertainty around friendship has come from expecting a relationship to be something it isn’t. Not every friend needs to hold the same place in our lives, and closeness is not always measured by how often we see or talk to someone. Returning to Pearson College for my 30-year reunion reminded me of that. After decades apart, there were friendships where the connection was still there almost immediately. Maybe part of understanding friendship as we get older is learning to appreciate people for the place they genuinely hold in our lives, rather than trying to pull every friendship into the innermost circle. WHEN FRIENDSHIP HURTS Friendship can bring enormous joy and connection, but...
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