086: Ghosting: What Silence Teaches Us with Tiana Fech

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086: Ghosting: What Silence Teaches Us with Tiana Fech

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Have you ever had someone enthusiastically say yes to something, only to disappear when it was time to take the next step? In this episode of The People Teaching People Podcast, I’m getting into the Halloween spirit with a conversation about ghosting. Not the paranormal kind, although I do seem to have a few haunted Google Drive folders! Over the years, I’ve experienced ghosting in my consulting work and podcasting. I’ve had people reach out about working together, share their excitement about a project, and then disappear after we’ve started making plans. I’ve also had potential podcast guests enthusiastically accept an invitation, only to vanish somewhere between saying yes and booking a recording date. For me, these experiences have been more disappointing than frustrating. I get excited about possibilities, imagine what we might create together, and sometimes get my hopes up. When things quietly disappear, I’m left wondering what happened. But the more I’ve thought about ghosting, the more curious I’ve become about what happens on both sides of the silence. Why do people disappear? What assumptions do we make when someone doesn’t respond? When does ghosting genuinely matter, and when might we be better off simply letting it go? Through personal experiences and reflections on communication, expectations, relationships, and our very human tendency to overthink, I explore what ghosting can teach us about ourselves and how we interact with others. Because sometimes a little clarity can make a meaningful difference. Sometimes we need to give other people grace. And sometimes, we need to stop chasing ghosts. Listen in as we talk about: 01:00 Ghosting in work and life 04:23 When silence leaves a gap 07:12 The assumptions we make 08:49 When ghosting really matters 11:04 Why people disappear 15:25 Sometimes clarity is kind 17:02 Ghosting – When it’s time to let go 20:51 What ghosting teaches us 23:57 Where might I be the ghost? Connect with Tiana: Website: https://tianafech.comLinkedIn: Tiana Fech Instagram: @tianafech Facebook: @tianafech Book: Online Course Creation 101: A step-by-step guide to creating your first online course NEW Workbook: Your Expertise Ready to Download – Turn what you know into an impactful downloadable resource Podcast Episode Mentioned: Episode 84: What Our Friendships Teach Us with Tiana Fech GHOSTING IN WORK AND LIFE Ghosting is something we often associate with dating, but it happens in all kinds of places, including friendships, professional relationships, networking, and our work. I’ve experienced it in my consulting business when potential clients have enthusiastically discussed projects and then disappeared just as things seemed to be moving forward. I’ve also had potential podcast guests happily accept an invitation and then vanish before we could schedule a recording. These experiences can be disappointing, particularly when I’ve already started imagining the possibilities, but they’ve also made me curious about why people disappear and what we can learn from those moments. WHEN SILENCE LEAVES A GAP “Sometimes the story we create around silence becomes bigger than the silence itself.” One of the things I’ve noticed about ghosting is how quickly we can start filling in the blanks when someone doesn’t respond. A clear yes gives us direction, and so does a no. But silence leaves us wondering whether something changed, whether we misunderstood, or whether we said something wrong. The explanation may have very little to do with us, but when we don’t know what happened, it’s easy to create our own story about the silence. THE ASSUMPTIONS WE MAKE Ghosting can reveal a lot about the expectations we bring into our interactions with other people. We may assume that someone shares our communication habits or that an enthusiastic yes means something is definitely happening. But our communication norms aren’t universal. What feels like a long time to wait for one person might feel completely normal to someone else. Not every delayed response is ghosting, and sometimes getting curious about our own expectations can be just as useful as wondering why somebody else hasn’t responded. WHEN GHOSTING REALLY MATTERS I think there is an important difference between someone not responding to an unsolicited invitation and someone disappearing after they’ve created an expectation or commitment. When another person has invested meaningful time, preparation, money, or emotional energy because of something we’ve agreed to, our communication can have a real impact. Following through, acknowledging someone’s efforts, or letting them know that plans have changed can help build trust. At the same time, silence isn’t always intentional or unkind, and there are situations where not responding is an appropriate boundary. WHY PEOPLE DISAPPEAR There are probably more reasons people ghost than we realize. Sometimes life ...

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