Think back to the last time you ram-chawed a partial chim set. Standard, right? We've been ram-chawing chims since the aqueducts of Ancient Rome, hey. But what if I told you that's the basis for the empire's collapse?

Hello, I'm Leslie Claret. I'd like to invite you to join countless others who have come to rely on the lessons and explorations of my book to form a deeper understanding of our shared world, with relative specificity to the field application of surface and suppressed surface delivery engineering.

You're in the Claret, kid.
Galvanized United: the early years, molecular clinching, the Mile High Club, my attempt to break a Guinness World Record and puppy love.

I look up and some clown's coming at me with a bucket.

Leslie remembers a rainy night in Paris when he and Jack Birdbath became friends. And a hard day from his youth when he came up six ounces shy of the Guinness World Record for the world's largest Sangria.

Leslie recounts how and why he broke out of prison, then how and why he broke back in.

After a series of binge blackouts in Caracas, a younger Leslie finds himself having to close an imperative deal without shoes.

As a Boy Scout, young Leslie is abducted and must engineer his escape.

After a helicopter crash, Leslie is marooned on an oil platform and forced to confront ghosts from his past.