Episode: Dismayed Draco: Curiosity Gone Wrong - How to Ask for a Raise

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/dismayed-draco-curiosity-gone-wrong-how-to-ask-for-a-raise

What this episode’s about:

In this episode, we hear from someone we've named, "Dismayed Draco," who accidentally found out he is the lowest-paid employee in his company. Helping Draco navigate his feelings of frustration and underappreciation, we provide a structured framework which we call "RAISES" to help Draco navigate the often nerve wracking process of asking for a raise. We look at this from the viewpoints of conflict resolution, HR, and psychology.

Why listen:

Learn how to ask for a raise!

Key takeaways

1. We recommend you don't "rage quit" your job without a financial plan
2. Asking for a raise is a key professional skill
3. We give you the RAISES framework to develop a strategic plan for how to move forward
4. Pay transparency laws are complex and there are HR considerations around this topic
5. Mindset matters - harness the power of cognitive behavioral therapy

Resources & further reading

• Pay transparency and productivity by Cédric Gutierrez, Tomasz Obloj, Todd Zenger :: SSRN
• Research: The Complicated Effects of Pay Transparency
• What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?
• Pay Transparency Laws by State Interactive Map - GovDocs
• The story of SumAll
• Cost of Living Calculator | City and Salary Comparison Tool - NerdWallet
• Blind salary research tool - Second salary reference tool mentioned
• Glassdoor
• Interview Boss Podcast
• Jia Jiang: What I learned from 100 days of rejection

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits & notes

Hosts: Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences; names/identifying details are modified.

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with our mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and a little humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

We, Karen and Kendra, are certified HR professionals and mediators with extensive experience across diverse sectors, including Fortune 100 companies and startups.

Each episode features a unique and provocative scenario, allowing us to dissect the intricacies of organizational dynamics and corporate chaos.

We invite you to subscribe and join us every other Tuesday as we explore these critical issues and help you navigate conflict with compassion, grace, and ease!

Links referenced in this episode:

• thehrmediators.com
• thehrmediators@gmail.com

Episode: Pressured Priya: Stuck in the Middle - Navigating Competing Executives

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/pressured-priya-stuck-in-the-middle-navigating-competing-executives

What this episode’s about:

In this episode we hear from "Pressured Priya" who was hired to stand up an onboarding program at the large Tech company where she works. Unfortunately, no one warned her that this would drop her right in the middle of a longstanding conflict between two executives. We help her analyze the situation from the perspectives of conflict resolution, HR, and psychology to help her make a plan for how to move forward.

Why listen:

Learn how to collaborate successfully despite entrenched conflicts.

Key takeaways

1. Learn about the five standard ways people approach conflict
2. Improve your ability to adjust your communication style and approach to your audience
3. Develop your skill in building psychological safety

Resources

• An Overview of the Thomas-Kilmann (TKI) Instrument - This is also the Link to Purchase the TKI Test
• Purchase the Thomas-Kilmann Instrument (TKI) Book
• What is Psychological Safety
• Four Steps to Build the Psychological Safety That High Performing Teams Need Today
• Google re:Work - Guides: Understand team effectiveness
• Books | Keith Ferrazzi
• How to Lead Without Authority
• Complete Employee Onboarding Guide
• Theory of Games and Economic Behavior | Princeton University Press
• Project Management Statistics
• To Retain New Hires, Spend More Time Onboarding Them - HBR quote about the value of an onboarding program

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits & notes

Hosts: Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all identifying details, adjust timelines, and blend similar accounts.

Episode: Always-On Anya: Setting Boundaries with an Overcommunicating Boss

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/always-on-anya-setting-boundaries-with-a-over-communicating-boss

What this episode’s about:

An hourly lead’s manager won’t stop calling on her days off and threatens demotion when she pushes back. We unpack how to set firm, respectful boundaries, when to loop in HR, and why power can erode empathy.

Why listen:

You’ll get practical tips for a hard conversation as well as engaging HR and psychology perspectives on control, fear of failure, empathy, and more to help you protect your time without burning bridges.

Key takeaways

1. Lead with data and What's In It For Me (WIIFM): Bring specifics (“10 calls on my day off”) and frame solutions that help the manager (on-call rotation, clear escalation paths), not just you.
2. Take action and utilize your resources: Document time worked off the clock, document your conversations, and reach out to HR for help.
3. Target the root cause: Promotion-seeking, loneliness, fear, control, or attraction require different strategies. Avoid power struggles, use assertive (not aggressive) language, and keep safety front and center.

Resources

• Humanalysts, on LinkedIn - We recommend following Dr. Nicole at Humanalysts for more information about workplace trauma. This topic came up when we mentioned that overcontrolling is a trauma response, and the work of Dr. Nicole came to mind.
• Power and Perspective Not Taken - Read more about how people in power may exhibit a lack of empathy.
• Stanford Prison Experiment
• Courage Coaching - Excellent coach with great resources on how to navigate relationships with narcissists.
• The Assertiveness Workbook - Additional details on The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson.
• Hours of Work Policy: Nonexempt Employee Electronic Communications - Resource to design hourly work policies.
• Fact Sheet #22: Hours Worked Under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) - Information on hourly worker standards in the US
• Mid-Market Enterprise Economy Report 2024 - Information on small and middle market growth (2024).

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits

Music: Farben by MagnusMoone

Notes

If this helped, please follow the show and send this episode to at least one coworker. Rate & review: A quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ on your podcast platform of choice helps others find us.

Hosts

Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all...

Episode: Overwhelmed Olivia: Managing the Teammate Who Wanted Your Job

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/overwhelmedolivia

What this episode is about:

Overwhelmed Olivia just landed her first manager role… and now has to lead the teammate who’s convinced they should’ve gotten the job. This episode explores how to navigate resentment, rebuild trust, and turn a simmering rival into a true partner.

Why listen:

When a promotion puts someone in charge of someone who competed for that same job, every interaction can feel like a challenge. In this episode, we walk alongside Overwhelmed Olivia as she faces eye rolls, subtle undermining, and “that should’ve been me” energy, and turn it into a step-by-step approach with guidance, boundaries, and repair strategies. It’s especially helpful for anyone newly promoted over peers or worried that one resentful direct report might quietly sway the whole team.

Key takeaways

1. Regulate yourself first. Learn to notice your own stress responses and stories, build resilience habits, and manage burnout so you can stay grounded instead of letting anger, fear, or shame escalate the conflict and make things worse.
2. Recognize how powerful status is. Our sense of status—who feels “up” or “down” in the hierarchy—drives so many reactions at work, especially after promotions or reorgs; exploring ideas like those in The Status Game by Will Storr can help you see what’s really underneath people’s behavior.
3. Invest in brave, trust-building leadership. Resources like Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead offer practical tools for building trust, having hard conversations, and leading through messy, emotionally charged situations with more courage and clarity.

Resources

• The Status Game - Will Storr
• Dare to Lead - Brené Brown
• Emotional Resilience: 9 Ways to Be Resilient in Tough Times | Psychology Today
• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle - Book on burnout by Emily & Amelia Nagoski.

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits

Music: Farben by MagnusMoone

Notes

If this helped, please follow the show and send this episode to at least one coworker. Rate & review: A quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ on your podcast platform of choice helps others find us.

Hosts

Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all identifying details, adjust timelines, and blend similar accounts.

Episode: Stalled-Out Sam: Handling a Tough Manager and Unfair Reviews After a Promotion

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/stalled-out-sam-handling-a-tough-manager-and-unfair-reviews-after-a-promotion

What this episode’s about:

A high-achieving employee lands a big promotion, only to end up with a new manager whose dismissive feedback and low ratings threaten to overshadow her success and leave her questioning her future. We explore how to navigate performance reviews that feel unfair, along with the difficult dynamics and personal stress that often accompany them.

Why listen:

If you’ve ever felt undervalued by a manager, struggled with confusing or unhelpful feedback, or wondered whether to stay or leave the job, this episode offers both compassion and actionable strategies. We explore HR-insider perspectives, conflict-resolution tools, and mental-health considerations to help you chart a clear and confident path forward.

Key takeaways

1. Clarity is power: Seek specific, actionable feedback using structured communication tools. Review and decide whether to stay or go.

2. You have options: HR, skip-level conversations, networking, and mental-health support can all be part of a healthy strategy during a difficult situation at work.

3. Your wellbeing matters: Daily stress signals a deeper issue. Taking care of your emotional health is essential, whether that means “blooming where you’re planted” or making a thoughtful exit.

Resources

• Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
• TED talk by Tim Ferriss: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals - Amazing (and short) TED talk from Tim Ferriss about how to analyze and navigate your fears! Highly recommend.
• Don't Fall for the Sunk Cost Fallacy: Tips for Smarter Life Decisions
• Nonviolent Communication - book by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD

In this show, we reference another The HR Mediators episode which covers performance reviews. That episode is Episode 6, Frustrated Fred, release date 12/23/25.

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits

Music: Farben by MagnusMoone

Notes

If this helped, please follow the show and send this episode to at least one coworker. Rate & review: A quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ on your podcast platform of choice helps others find us.

Hosts

Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all identifying details, adjust timelines, and blend similar accounts.

Episode: Frustrated Fred: When “Anonymous” Feedback Shows Up in Your Review

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/frustrated-fred-when-anonymous-feedback-shows-up-in-your-review

What this episode’s about:

Every week, Fred asks his dotted-line manager for feedback and hears, “You’re doing great.” Then he gets his mid-year review that has "anonymous" feedback that he’s almost certain came from that same manager, and it’s now in his permanent record.

Why listen:

If you’ve ever been blindsided by performance feedback, especially in a matrix reporting setup, this episode walks you through how to respond without burning relationships, how to get clearer input going forward, and what can be done to prevent “surprise feedback” from landing in formal documentation.

Key takeaways

1. New feedback doesn't belong in formal reviews: Managers (direct or dotted-line) should never include new performance feedback in a review. Any feedback included in a review should have been shared directly at least once beforehand.
2. When you get "anonymous" feedback - don't confront...be strategic: If a provider of feedback insists on "anonymity", confronting them is likely to backfire; instead, work through your direct manager to clarify expectations and protect your trajectory.
3. To get better feedback, ask better questions and regulate your body language: Targeted feedback questions, calm delivery, and non-defensive posture make it more likely you’ll get honest, actionable feedback - especially with conflict-avoidant people.

Resources

• The Situation-Behavior-Impact-Feedback Framework
• Dare to Lead Hub - Brené Brown
• Making Yourself Indispensable
• Want Honest Feedback From Employees? 16 Strategies To Try

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits

Music: Farben by MagnusMoone

Notes

If this helped, please follow the show and send this episode to at least one coworker. Rate & review: A quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ on your podcast platform of choice helps others find us.

Hosts

Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all identifying details, adjust timelines, and blend similar accounts.

Episode: Marginalized Melissa: Feeling Pushed Out by a New Coworker

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/episode-7

What this episode’s about:

Marginalized Melissa is feeling pushed out by a new coworker and worried that this tension could cost her a promotion. In this episode, we explore practical strategies for managing workplace conflict, setting boundaries, and protecting your career while staying professional and keeping your growth opportunities on track.

Why listen:

Learn practical strategies for addressing workplace tension, advocating for yourself, and keeping your career on track even when challenges arise.

Key takeaways

1. Feeling “pushed out” is often a signal of unmet needs, unclear expectations, and mismatched work styles - not necessarily intentional exclusion.
2. When tension escalates, preparing for focused, respectful conversations with a coworker, manager, or HR can help shift the situation from emotional reactivity to problem-solving.
3. Examining your assumptions, stress responses, and mindset can reduce anxiety and open up new options for navigating conflict without sacrificing your well-being or career goals.

Resources

• Common Ground HR, LLC - This is the website for Karen's business, a consultancy focusing on Workplace Conflict Management, Mediation, Positive Employee Relations. Featured work also includes HR Programs: Design/Build/Update/Evaluate.
• Book. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success - A top recommendation!
• Designing Your Life Workbook - goes with the book Designing Your Life
• Book: Designing Your Work Life
• Book: Designing Your Life
• Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze, and the Feign Response | Psychology Today

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits

Music: Farben by MagnusMoone

Notes

If this helped, please follow the show and send this episode to at least one coworker. Rate & review: A quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ on your podcast platform of choice helps others find us.

Hosts

Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all identifying details, adjust timelines, and blend similar accounts.