Episode: Frustrated Fred: When “Anonymous” Feedback Shows Up in Your Review

Link: https://thehrmediators.captivate.fm/episode/frustrated-fred-when-anonymous-feedback-shows-up-in-your-review

What this episode’s about:

Every week, Fred asks his dotted-line manager for feedback and hears, “You’re doing great.” Then he gets his mid-year review that has "anonymous" feedback that he’s almost certain came from that same manager, and it’s now in his permanent record.

Why listen:

If you’ve ever been blindsided by performance feedback, especially in a matrix reporting setup, this episode walks you through how to respond without burning relationships, how to get clearer input going forward, and what can be done to prevent “surprise feedback” from landing in formal documentation.

Key takeaways

1. New feedback doesn't belong in formal reviews: Managers (direct or dotted-line) should never include new performance feedback in a review. Any feedback included in a review should have been shared directly at least once beforehand.
2. When you get "anonymous" feedback - don't confront...be strategic: If a provider of feedback insists on "anonymity", confronting them is likely to backfire; instead, work through your direct manager to clarify expectations and protect your trajectory.
3. To get better feedback, ask better questions and regulate your body language: Targeted feedback questions, calm delivery, and non-defensive posture make it more likely you’ll get honest, actionable feedback - especially with conflict-avoidant people.

Resources

• The Situation-Behavior-Impact-Feedback Framework
• Dare to Lead Hub - Brené Brown
• Making Yourself Indispensable
• Want Honest Feedback From Employees? 16 Strategies To Try

Reach out for guidance: TheHRManagers@Gmail.com

Website: TheHRMediators.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thehrmediators/

About the show

Workplace conflict is inevitable, but with Karen & Kendra’s mix of HR savvy, mediation experience, psychology insights, and humor, you’ll learn to turn conflict into connection.

Credits

Music: Farben by MagnusMoone

Notes

If this helped, please follow the show and send this episode to at least one coworker. Rate & review: A quick ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ on your podcast platform of choice helps others find us.

Hosts

Karen Gleason & Kendra Beseler

© 2025 The HR Mediators

Privacy note: These are inspired by real experiences, but we change all identifying details, adjust timelines, and blend similar accounts.