EP78: When Someone Else's Happiness Hurts | The Grief Guardian Podcast

Have you ever looked at someone else's happiness and felt sadness, anger, or a deep sense of missing something you can never have?

Perhaps it's seeing a father hug his daughter, watching children celebrate Christmas, seeing a pregnancy announcement, or scrolling through photos of another family's happy moments.

When you're grieving, these ordinary moments can bring up emotions you might find difficult to understand. You can genuinely be happy for someone else while feeling heartbroken about what you've lost.

In Episode 78 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, Grant Cosgrove explores the difficult experience of watching others enjoy the moments you wish you could have shared with someone you love.

Drawing on his own experience of losing his daughter, Mia, Grant shares how seeing other families experience happiness brought up feelings of helplessness and sadness, particularly in the early days of grief. He also reflects on how those feelings have changed over time, moving from raw pain towards a quieter sense of missing what could have been.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why other people's happiness can trigger grief.

• The anger, sadness and helplessness that can arise after losing someone you love.

• Why these feelings don't make you a bad person.

• How you can be happy for someone else while still grieving your own loss.

• How our relationship with grief and its reminders can change over time.

• Finding a connection to love when you're reminded of what you've lost.

• Learning to carry your love forward, even when the person you love is no longer physically here.

If you're experiencing these feelings, please know that you aren't alone. You don't need to feel guilty for your reactions or force yourself to be okay. Give yourself permission to feel what comes up, and allow yourself time to find your own way through grief.

For me, one of the biggest lessons has been understanding that even though Mia isn't physically here, the love I have for her is still here.

Sometimes what hurts isn't the happiness you're seeing. It's the love you're reminded you still carry.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider liking, sharing and subscribing to The Grief Guardian Podcast. Your support helps these conversations reach others who may need to hear them.

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What happens when you watch other people's children grow up and realise your child should be growing up alongside them?

In Episode 77 of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about something many bereaved parents experience but may struggle to put into words.

My daughter Mia was born sleeping in October 2022. As I watch children around the age she would be now, I often find myself imagining the ordinary moments we never got to have.

Taking her to the playground. Watching her make friends. Seeing her discover animals and decide what she loves. Making pancakes together. Going to the beach. Hearing her ridiculous stories. Tucking her into bed.

And perhaps most of all, knowing what it would have felt like to have my daughter run up and hug me.

Watching other people's children grow can bring two emotions at the same time. You can feel genuine happiness watching another child experience life while also feeling the sadness of knowing your own child should be there too.

I don't look at other people's children and wish they weren't there.

I look at them and wish Mia was there too.

In this episode, I share the ordinary Saturday I wish I could have spent with my four-year-old daughter and why those seemingly insignificant moments can become some of the things we grieve the most.

I didn't need Mia to achieve anything.

I didn't need her to become anyone.

I just wanted the chance to be her dad.

If you've lost a child and watching other children grow brings up emotions you weren't expecting, you are not alone. You can smile at another child's happiness and still grieve the milestones your own child never got to experience.

Your child's life may have ended, but your love for them didn't.

You can still carry their love with you.

❤️ In loving memory of Mia Elizabeth.

If this episode speaks to you, please consider sharing it with another parent who may need to hear it.

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Guiding you through the hardest journey, life after losing a loved one. Empowering resilience, healing, and hope one step at a time.

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EP76: The Moments That Never Happened | The Grief Guardian Podcast

When we lose someone we love, we grieve the memories we shared.

But what happens when you're grieving someone you were supposed to have a lifetime of memories with?

In this episode of The Grief Guardian Podcast, I talk about the moments with my daughter Mia that never happened.

The first time I should have held her.

Hearing her cry.

Taking her to the park.

Watching her discover the world.

Helping her solve problems.

Watching her become independent.

Hearing about her dreams.

And eventually discovering the woman she would have become.

I didn't just lose the opportunity to make memories with Mia.

I lost the opportunity to discover Mia.

That's a different kind of grief, and it's something I think many bereaved parents understand deeply.

We can spend so much time mourning the birthdays, holidays, milestones and ordinary moments that never happened. But there is also something important we can do with the moments we did have, and with the love that remains.

In this episode, I share how I've learned to carry that love forward rather than leave Mia behind.

If you're grieving someone you love, I hope this episode reminds you that it's okay to mourn the moments that never happened.

And when those thoughts come, try to remember how the moments you did have made you feel.

Remember the love.

Remember the connection.

And carry that feeling forward.

Because love doesn't disappear just because someone is no longer physically here.

Mia, I wish I could have known you.
I wish I could have held you.
I wish I could have watched you grow.
I wish I could have discovered who you were going to become.
But I love you. And I always will.

I'm Dad.

And I'll always be your dad.

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If this episode resonates with you, please consider sharing it with someone who may need to hear it.

You don't have to leave your loved one behind to keep living.

You can take their love with you.

Your love remains. Carry it forward.

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