We all need someone to reach out to. But what happens when reaching out becomes handing over?

In this episode, Julia explores our tendency to create our own Personal Jesus: the boss, partner, therapist, guru or even AI tool that we hope might have all the answers.

From idealisation and dependency to transference and our very human dislike of uncertainty, she looks at why handing someone else the map, compass and keys to the car can feel so reassuring.

Support is one thing. Asking someone else to tell us who we are is quite another.

So by all means, reach out and touch faith. Just be careful who, or what, you’re asking to become it.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.18) Nobody’s perfect

(3.06) Liesl and Kurt

(4.31) The need is not irrational

(6.18) Am I reaching for support, or because I want someone to make it all better?

Connect with Julia:

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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“The cold never bothered me anyway.”

Except perhaps it did.

In this episode, Julia looks at the stories we tell ourselves when reality feels a little too uncertain, disappointing or downright uncomfortable. Why are we so quick to fill in the blanks? And how does an idea we’ve created with remarkably little evidence suddenly become a cast-iron fact?

From Elsa’s frozen wasteland to Oscar-worthy narratives at 3am, Julia explores how the stories we tell ourselves can become a rather impressive cocktail of defence mechanisms.

Because sometimes the story isn’t there to fool us. Sometimes we simply need it to get through the day.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.55) Why do we tie ourselves in knots?

(4.32) Everything happens for a reason toxic positivity

(5.10) White knuckling the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune

(6.00) Cauldrons of defence

Connect with Julia:

Website

LinkedIn

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Bond. James Bond.

Nobody gets that one wrong. So why are some people apparently incapable of getting everybody else’s name right?

In this episode, Julia looks at why names matter far more than we might think. From being repeatedly called Julia Roberts (sadly without the hair or bank balance) to the people who continue to use the wrong name even after being corrected, she asks what might really be going on.

Is it habit? Laziness? A lack of attention? Or could getting someone’s name wrong communicate something about how important we think they are?

Because recognising someone starts with seeing the person who is actually in front of you.

Even if their name is Flumptibella Moonbeam.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.23) Jack Bond

(1.50) Julia Roberts

(4.12) Our names are intrinsically linked with who we are

(5.25) If we aren’t using people’s correct name, what’s that telling us?

Connect with Julia:

Website

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

“Did you miss me?”

It sounds like a fairly innocent question. But underneath it can sit something much bigger: did you notice I wasn’t there? Did you think about me? Do I matter to you?

In this episode, Julia looks at what happens when there’s a gap in contact and our minds merrily fill in the blanks. From childhood experiences to testing relationships, withdrawing to see who notices and the questionable wisdom of “matching their energy”, she explores why being important to someone doesn’t always look the way we expect it to.

And asks whether, while we’ve been wondering who misses us, we might have been missing someone else entirely.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.33) Do I matter when I’m not there?

(3.09) Being loved and being actively held in mind

(5.14) When we are anxious we do the very thing that makes connection harder

(6.15) How do we feel if the answer is no?

Connect with Julia:

Website

LinkedIn

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

“Be kind.” It sounds harmless enough. Who could possibly object to kindness?

Julia, apparently.

In this episode, she takes a psychodynamic look at one of social media’s favourite slogans and asks what might be lurking underneath it. Is it really about protecting other people, or could there be something rather more interesting going on?

From moral high ground to playground politics, Julia explores judgement, defensiveness and why being seen to be kind isn’t necessarily the same thing as actually being kind.

Unless you’re breaking up fisticuffs in the playground. Then crack on.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.15) Mrs Andy Burnham’s number ten outfit

(2.28) Internet rage

(4.35) We are all adults capable of making our own decisions

(6.30) The cultural zeitgeist

Connect with Julia:

Website

LinkedIn

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

This week on The Dynamics of Everyday Life, Julia takes a psychodynamic look at one iconic Victoria Wood moment: “Don’t bother Ken, I’ll do it myself.”

What starts as a funny, familiar line opens into something much deeper. Competence as identity, the fear of relying on other people, resentment, emotional labour, and the strange loneliness that can come from always being the capable one.

Why is asking for help so hard for some people? Why do we quietly over-function and then feel furious that nobody notices? And how do we accidentally train people to stop helping us altogether?

Sharp, funny and painfully recognisable in places, this episode explores the hidden emotional dynamics underneath “I’ll just do it myself.”

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.41) Competence can easily become part of our personality

(2.46) The hidden irony

(3.47) Over functioning

(6.51) What do we do with all this?

Connect with Julia:

Website

LinkedIn

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

When something feels off, most of us don’t trust it.

We explain it away. Override it. Or ask everyone else what they think, as if someone else might have better access to what’s going on in our own heads.

In this episode, Julia takes a closer look at that hard-to-pin-down sense that something isn’t quite right, and why it’s rarely as random as we’d like to believe.

Drawing on psychodynamic thinking, she explores what’s happening beneath the surface: how we pick up patterns, respond to micro-signals, and react to things we can’t yet consciously explain.

She also makes a crucial distinction. Not every feeling is intuition. Sometimes it’s anxiety, old patterns, or projection. The challenge is knowing the difference.

Because ignoring that feeling completely?

That doesn’t tend to end well.

If you’ve ever left a conversation thinking “that was weird” but couldn’t say why,this episode will help you think about it differently.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(1.47) Our brains hate ambiguity

(2.34) What’s actually going on in these moments?

(4.20) Not every feeling is intuition

(5.55) What do we do about this?

Connect with Julia:

Website

LinkedIn

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.

Why is it that one small comment can stay with you for days, while everything else disappears?

In this episode, Julia explores why certain remarks don’t just land… they linger.

What starts as a throwaway comment can quickly turn into something much bigger. Not because of what was said, but because of what it touches.

This episode looks at:

1. Why some comments stick while others don’t
2. The gap between what was said and what was heard
3. How old narratives shape present reactions
4. Why ambiguity makes things worse (not better)
5. What’s actually going on when you “can’t get it out of your head”

It’s not just about overthinking. It’s about history, meaning, and the stories we already carry.

So if something’s been replaying in your mind long after it happened…

there’s probably more to it than you think.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(3.36) Landing on old history

(4.50) What you say is all about you

(5.46) Ambiguity is like rocket fuel

(7.41) What do we do with all this?

Connect with Julia:

Website

LinkedIn

Instagram

ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

FOLLOW THE PODCAST

If you're enjoying The Dynamics of Everyday Life, follow the podcast on your listening app so you don't miss future episodes.