I will hit a million brick walls before I ask for help. I’ll go through the mud, run myself into the ground and cry into my pillow at night, because somehow all of that feels less scary than asking someone and hearing no.

This week I’m getting honest about my hyper independence. “I’ll figure it out” is basically my life motto, and it should probably be printed on every T-shirt I own. For years I called it strength, and everyone around me called me strong and resilient. But when I dug underneath it, I found something less flattering: a worthiness wound telling me I’m a burden, and that if I ask, I’ll be rejected.

I share what this looked like during my separation. There was the second house move, when I didn’t want to bother anyone, and the girlfriend who looked at me and said, “Are you kidding me? Why haven’t you asked me already?” I even asked my ex for help, which felt terrifying. Between the four of us, we got it done in one day.

If you’re going through separation or divorce, you’re facing a to-do list as long as a toilet roll: finances, lawyers, leases, schools, co-parenting. And you’re still trying to be the rock for your kids. You don’t win any awards for doing all of that alone.

I also share some news. Once a month I’ll be bringing an expert onto the show, starting with money and financial empowerment, so you don’t have to learn everything the hard way like I did.

This week’s journal prompt: What am I stuck on right now, and who could I ask for help? And if you don’t know who to ask, who do you know who might know someone?

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

Download The Create Yourself Free App: https://subscription.createyourself.co.nz/library

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Instagram: @createyourself.nz

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Website: https://www.createyourself.co.nz

Email: Rachael@createyourself.co.nz

This wasn't the episode I had planned to record. My son woke up with a terrible chesty cough, slumped on the couch with no energy, and I had a call to facilitate with a group of learners that morning. I had a choice to make: try to make school work somehow, or keep him home and just figure it out. I kept him home. In this episode I share what that actually looked like for a real working mum, including the moment mid-session when I heard a crash downstairs, followed by "Mum, Mum, Mum!"

I also get into the mum guilt and professional guilt that so many of us carry when our kids are sick. A few years ago I would have panicked about being seen as the solo mum who can't get her act together, and worried it would cost me work. For most of the women I know, it's the mum who stays home when a child is unwell. So why are we still pretending we're not parents at work? I talk about owning that reality, setting boundaries around our time, and trusting that we're just as capable and professional as anyone else.

At the heart of it, this episode is about letting go of perfect. For a couple of days I allowed myself to be a good enough mum and a good enough business owner, and I was genuinely surprised at how little stress I felt. When we stop fighting what is, the problem shrinks. Surrendering isn't giving up. It's letting go of control, and it feels completely different in the body.

If you're having one of those weeks where nothing has gone to plan and you feel like you're failing, this one is for you. I finish with a journaling prompt: Where am I fighting what is, and what would it feel like to surrender?

The Create Yourself app is now live! Download it free for my full library of guided visualisations, my writing, this podcast and bonus episodes: https://subscription.createyourself.co.nz/library

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

Download The Create Yourself Free App: https://subscription.createyourself.co.nz/library

Find me on my socials:

Instagram: @createyourself.nz

TikTok: @itsrachthomas

YouTube: ItsRachThomas

Learn more about working with me:

Website: https://www.createyourself.co.nz

Email: Rachael@createyourself.co.nz

I Manifested This Moment (And Didn’t Even Know It)

This week I'm sharing my magical experience at Becoming, the event I co-created with three incredible women to help midlife women see this next chapter as something to embrace rather than fear. As I stood at the side of the stage, headset mic on, listening to our MC introduce me, I had a full body chill moment. It hit me that I had manifested that exact moment without even realising it. On the vision board I made at the start of last year, there's a picture of a woman speaking on a stage, and there I was, about to step out and live it.

I also share some news I'm so excited about: my free app is now live! From the very beginning, I've wanted what I do to be accessible to everyone, no matter what's in their bank account. The app brings all of my guided visualisations, my writing and this podcast together in one place, and I can't wait to share guided visualisation with the world in a way that's genuinely within reach. There's also a special launch price on the paid subscription, and if you sign up before January, that price is locked in forever.

Finally, I open up about my decision to niche into coaching women through separation and divorce. It's been such a natural progression. Women navigating separation have kept finding their way to me, and having walked this road myself as a solo mum, I know how lonely and terrifying it can feel to rebuild your life from scratch. I share how one guided visualisation carried me through the hardest part of my own separation, and why it feels like the universe has been nudging me here all along. It's a true fit for my purpose and my passion.

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

Download The Create Yourself Free App: https://subscription.createyourself.co.nz/library

Find me on my socials:

Instagram: @createyourself.nz

TikTok: @itsrachthomas

YouTube: ItsRachThomas

Learn more about working with me:

Website: https://www.createyourself.co.nz

Email: Rachael@createyourself.co.nz