Welcome back to the Create Yourself podcast!

This week I'm talking about something I've wanted to cover since day one: beauty, and the mask I've worn around my appearance my whole life.

Growing up as the redheaded, freckled, skinny kid who didn't look like her three sisters, I copped some pretty intense bullying, first as a young girl, then all through high school from the boys. It shaped how I felt about myself for decades.

It wasn't until my late thirties that I actually started healing that wound and figured out what beauty really means to me. This week I get into that journey, and I unpack the impossible standard women are held to: stay thin, stay young, stay beautiful, as if our only value is how we look.

It's personal, but I think it's going to be relatable for basically every woman listening. If you've ever felt insecure about your appearance, this one's for you.

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This week's episode is basically the playbook I wish someone had handed me back in 2020, when I lost my job as a flight attendant after seventeen years and had no idea what came next.

I walk through the actual process I went through, not the tidy version, the real one: the grief that shows up even when the loss was your own choice, the trap of asking "what can I do" instead of "what do I want to do," and the exact moment things started to shift for me.

If you've ever lost a job, or you're sitting with the itch to change careers and can't figure out how to move, this one's built for you. I get specific about the stages I went through and why skipping the grief part just delays everything else. I also talk about the scarcity mindset that keeps most of us stuck looking backward at what we're already qualified for, instead of forward at what we actually want.

Guided visualisation is the other big piece of this episode. I found it almost by accident, using it just to sleep during the hardest stretch, right as I was also going through a separation and becoming a solo mum with no financial safety net. It ended up being the thing that let me build a sense of worthiness I didn't have the words for yet, long before I had any evidence it would work out. I share exactly how I used it and why I think it's one of the most underrated tools for anyone trying to move through real uncertainty.

I did come out the other side. I changed careers, I got through solo parenting in the thick of it, and everything I learned in that process became the reason I do what I do now. Helping other women find their way through their own version of change and challenge is genuinely my purpose, and I don't think I'd be doing it without having lived it first.

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

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This week (after some chit-chat and life updates), I'm diving into social media and the challenge screen time has become in my own life. I get honest about what's actually showing up in my feed, how it makes me feel, and why we have to bring a lot more conscious awareness to the way we use our phones.

Left unchecked, we end up on a dopamine treadmill we can't get off. And that's what leaves us feeling washed up, unhappy, and pretty miserable about our own lives.

It's not all doom and gloom though. I do think we can use social media in a healthy way, but it takes getting smart about our own restrictions: the times we're on our phones, and what we're letting into our feeds. None of it is random. It's curated based on wherever our attention goes the most.

If you struggle with screen time or find yourself on your phone more than you'd like, this episode should resonate. I share some of what I've been doing to monitor my own usage. It's not about ditching our phones altogether, because let's face it, we're going to be on them. So the real question is how we protect our energy and the way we feel, without mindlessly ending up doom scrolling?

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If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

Create Yourself Socials:

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This week I talk about how my forties have become what I call "the reinvention decade" - a revolving door of change that hasn't let up: a new career at nearly 40, a separation, repeated house moves, major surgery, and, for good measure, an economic gut-punch that took out my biggest contract. And I'm a Taurean. (We don't do change well...)

The real theme isn't any single pivot: it's what it actually takes to keep choosing the unknown when certainty was never coming.

I also get into the fun I've been having reconnecting with my identity in my 40s, including revisiting teenage Rachael's energy. (Think piercings, rock music, and dressing for joy, not approval.)

It's a rollercoaster of a conversation this week, so settle in and enjoy the ride.

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

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Welcome back to the Create Yourself podcast!

This week I’m diving into the topic of having a shit week. Lately, I’ve had a few more of these than I’d have liked to, and whenever they hit it can honestly feel like I’m going to be stuck in that state forever. The self talk is really a massive contributor to this - I just can’t switch the negativity off sometimes.

I know I’m not the only one that ebbs and flows in and out of a rut, and so I wanted to share with you all of the little actions and habits I deploy to move through a shit week with less resistance and more grace. These little shifts aren’t ground breaking or complicated, and they're not meant to be. Because the last thing you need when you're feeling like this is another complicated routine that you'll never get around to.

It's absolutely normal to feel like shit sometimes, and I hope this episode helps you to be a little kinder to yourself when it happens.

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

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Welcome back to the Create Yourself podcast!

This week I'm talking about people pleasing, and the part of me that, for most of my life, didn't even realise saying no was an option.

I get into how growing up as the girl who wanted to fit in and be liked shaped basically every yes I've ever given. The jobs I was good at but didn't actually want. The relationships where I wanted to be wanted more than I wanted the other person. The family dynamics where saying no felt riskier than staying quiet and letting myself be walked over.

I talk honestly about what that costs over time - the resentment you don't say out loud, the exhaustion of holding up a version of yourself that isn't really you, and the moment that quiet "something's not right" feeling gets louder than your fear of losing the relationship altogether.

I share what's actually helped me start doing it differently, and the way saying no has actually given me this huge shift in confidence and energy. I’ve had to accept that choosing me might make my circle get smaller - and that some relationships have to fall away in order for me to be in alignment with myself. And that’s hard - but it’s also ok.

This one might sting a bit if people pleasing is familiar territory for you, and honestly it stung a bit to record it, but it also felt really good to say it out loud.

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

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Welcome back to the Create Yourself podcast!

This week I'm talking about alcohol. Not the "rock bottom, blackout drunk, ends up in rehab" story. That was never mine. And for years, that's exactly why it was so hard to admit alcohol was actually a problem for me at all.

I get honest about the real timeline. Quitting cold turkey the first time, right after my separation, when a couple of big glasses of red wine a night were the only thing numbing the pain of being away from my son.

Then, a year later my 40th birthday rolled around. I told myself I'd "reset my relationship with alcohol," but one drink at a girls' weekend put me straight back in the cycle.

I also get into why just "cutting back" was never going to work for me, and why building an actual identity as someone who's alcohol-free, not someone who's trying to be, is what's finally making it stick.

As always, I lay it all out there, no filters or frills - and it's my hope that my story will help you if there's something you're feeling ready to let go of.

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

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In this episode I get honest about dating in my 40s, and about the night I almost talked myself out of going to an over 40 singles night. I share how I nearly said no outright, and how I only agreed once I could frame it as "just being my friend's wing woman," so I didn't have to admit I was actually putting myself out there.

I dig into why dating apps have left so many of us exhausted, why almost everyone at that singles night said the exact same thing when I asked what brought them there, and what happened when I stopped performing a "dateable" version of myself and just let myself be blunt, funny, and completely unfiltered. I also share the surprise connection I walked away with, and the question I'm sitting with about the stories we all tell ourselves to avoid the things that scare us.

Please give the show a thumbs up if you liked it, and follow me so you never miss an episode!

If you liked this episode and want to support the show, please like, share, and give it a 5 star review. Your support means everything to me!

Create Yourself Socials:

Instagram:
@createyourself_co

TikTok:
@createyourself_co

Website: www.createyourself.co.nz
Email: Rachael@createyourself.co.nz

Watch On YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCy3wfPEnmJb6befgQYOnTpA