We’re back after a couple weeks off, and somehow the conversation immediately turns into Hedonism II, buffet crab legs, DoxyPEP, and whether or not everyone in the room deserves equal access to the three lions.

John’s sternum is apparently in a delicate transitional phase, which leads us to discover that Daddy Is Molting. From there we get into gumbo, sourdough starters, baby rabbits, deadly household pets, and the exact amount of soul an animal needs before humans are allowed to race it.

We also talk Lions, Jerry Springer, childhood injuries, scumbag stories, Steve Irwin vengeance, and why context is extremely important when somebody tells you they got stabbed through the hand with a screwdriver.

John discovers a new form of violence that leaves no bruises, Alex tries to figure out how anyone knows it’s the same whale, and we spend an unreasonable amount of time deciding which animals are gay.

We also get into animal tracking, God’s one forbidden apple, whale evolution, funeral plans, King Tut’s podcast studio, and why foxes are apparently the gayest animal alive.

Plus, Alex explains coding while John confidently explains it back to him completely wrong.

Alex unveils his homemade cable network, complete with custom channels, vintage commercials, and enough legally obtained media to avoid making another entertainment decision for the rest of his life. Naturally, John and Nick immediately begin renaming the operation, and Boz Turner Media is born.

From there, the conversation wanders through funeral processions gone horribly wrong, suspicious bathhouse business practices, old men reading newspapers, Detroit sports media, and the particular kind of dumb guy Alex prefers.