We’re back to our original setup (last week’s side quest was a NO) and today we’re officially Almost Experts in: Facebook Cash App birthday begging, Venmo stalking, Miami football heartbreak, Four Loko lore, dragging J.Lo, Gen Z behavior, and “Chinese TikTok” morning routines… all in one episode. 💅😂

In this episode:

• Facebook “it’s my birthday” payment handles + why it gives secondhand embarrassment

• The broke-era money moves that should’ve stayed private (platform bans… allegedly)

• Miami football loss + why we want real emotion, not fake handshake energy

• Four Loko vs Cutwater + missing summer + tan delusion

• J.Lo glambot drama + celeb makeup/procedure denial

• Gen Z stare + manners + parenting in 2026 (send help)

• Lemon water + bone broth + soup all day + sourdough starter confusion

• Communion bread is the best bread??? (and the Catholic church aesthetic is elite)

👇 Drop a comment: What’s more unhinged — putting your Venmo in your Facebook status… or being banned from Cash App? 😭

Huge shoutout to Fusion Home Loans for letting us use their space to record — truly the best communication and a game-changer for smooth closings. Thank you, Fusion!

📌 Follow us for more clips + chaos 🎧 Listen everywhere podcasts are available Watch the full chaos on Youtube

What’s up, Almost Experts?! This week is a full-spectrum yap session — from trying (and failing) to learn the “I Love Miami” dance like we were born to be cheerleaders… to deep-diving pop star glow-ups, Lisa Frank nostalgia, and why being in full regalia means do not test me.

We get into Zara Larsson’s aesthetic era, celebrity competition, the Golden Globes, wigs, recession-blonde discourse, and why some male actors should’ve left their faces completely alone. Then we spiral (naturally) into Fast & Furious men, Pirates of the Caribbean supremacy, Disney adults, and the Ashley Tisdale celebrity mom-group drama featuring Hillary Duff, Mandy Moore, and Meghan Trainor — plus why we’re always pro-husbands chiming in.

It’s messy, it’s niche, it’s hilarious, it’s weirdly therapeutic — and somehow an hour disappears in five minutes.

🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts 📺 Watch the full episode on YouTube 📲 Follow us on Instagram & TikTok: @thealmostexperts

Like, subscribe, and come hang with your unhinged internet besties.

In this episode, we fully embrace the truth: we are not winter people, and we are no longer pretending to be. What starts with a wig being thrown away mid-event (along with a family heirloom, RIP) spirals quickly into lemon drop shots, champagne aesthetics, barefoot breakdowns, and a sledding trip that absolutely took us out for five business days.

We cover:

• Wearing wigs, losing wigs, and regretting lemon drop shots

• Snow sledding for the first time in your 30s (and why Florida people shouldn’t try it)

• Why winter hurts our skin, our souls, and our will to live

• Dating hot takes: mama’s boys, exes, and situational ethics

• Emily in Paris discourse nobody asked for (but you’re getting anyway)

• Facebook prayer requests, relationship whiplash, and being unapologetically nosy

• Fuck, Kill, Marry: Landman edition

• Football victories, emotional moments, and chaotic celebrations

• Comfort stalking your friends on Instagram

• Motherhood expectations, PTA realities, and sneaking drinks (or not)

This episode is feral, opinionated, heartfelt, ridiculous, and exactly what you’d expect when two people talk long enough without stopping themselves.

Bundle up (emotionally), grab a drink, and press play.