We’re back to our original setup (last week’s side quest was a NO) and today we’re officially Almost Experts in: Facebook Cash App birthday begging, Venmo stalking, Miami football heartbreak, Four Loko lore, dragging J.Lo, Gen Z behavior, and “Chinese TikTok” morning routines… all in one episode. 💅😂

In this episode:

• Facebook “it’s my birthday” payment handles + why it gives secondhand embarrassment

• The broke-era money moves that should’ve stayed private (platform bans… allegedly)

• Miami football loss + why we want real emotion, not fake handshake energy

• Four Loko vs Cutwater + missing summer + tan delusion

• J.Lo glambot drama + celeb makeup/procedure denial

• Gen Z stare + manners + parenting in 2026 (send help)

• Lemon water + bone broth + soup all day + sourdough starter confusion

• Communion bread is the best bread??? (and the Catholic church aesthetic is elite)

👇 Drop a comment: What’s more unhinged — putting your Venmo in your Facebook status… or being banned from Cash App? 😭

Huge shoutout to Fusion Home Loans for letting us use their space to record — truly the best communication and a game-changer for smooth closings. Thank you, Fusion!

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