If you’ve ever felt guilty resting or over-delivered, this episode will resonate. Today, Rita breaks down The Achiever Identity - the role so many high-performing women unconsciously step into when they learn their worth comes from productivity, perfection, and emotional over-responsibility.

This identity isn’t just about being driven.
It’s about survival patterns formed in childhood, where doing more, fixing more, and achieving more became a way to manage chaos, avoid conflict, and stabilize everyone else’s emotional world.

In this episode, you’ll learn how the Achiever Identity forms, how it ties directly into codependent over-functioning, how it affects your nervous system, and what it truly costs you in adulthood. Rita also shares a hilarious yet powerful personal story from her Codependence Anonymous meeting - one that will help you see these patterns in yourself with compassion and humor.

Unpack the parts of you that hustle for worthiness and step into aligned leadership and emotional freedom.

(Part 2 of the 4-part Identity Series)

Top 4 Takeaways

1. Achievers aren’t needy - they over-function, stabilizing and managing everyone else.
2. This identity forms in childhood when chaos forces a child into “adult mode.”
3. “Never enoughness” defines both the Achiever and the Poverty Wound.
4. Rewiring takes emotional and nervous system work, not more productivity hacks.

Timestamps

[01:40–04:40] How achievers confuse performance with worthiness

[04:40–08:00] Over-functioning as codependency in disguise

[08:00–14:30] Childhood roots: chaos, survival, responsibility too young

[14:30–21:00] How the Achiever Identity plays out in adulthood

[21:00–29:00] Why achievers feel empty even when successful

[45:00–58:00] Deep identity work: discomfort, nervous system rewiring, boundaries

Resources & Links:

• “Whose discomfort am I managing right now?”
• “What emotional weight am I holding that was never mine?"
• “Is this action aligned… or is it fear?”

Wealth & Wisdom 2026 + Wealth & Wisdom Leadership Collective Waitlist - For women ready to shift identity, build wealth, and stop over-functioning.

→ Sign up here: [Wealth & Wisdom 2026 Waitlist]
→ Sign up here: [Wealth & Wisdom Leadership Collective 2026 Waitlist]

Sign up for The Art of Aligned Living - Weekly mindset, money, and nervous system wisdom → [Subscribe Here]

Join the 30-Day Meditation Challenge - Daily grounding and emotional regulation → Sign up here [30-Day Meditation Challenge]

Please be sure to tag me @RitaMarieMendez on Instagram and share this episode with your community to spread the word if you or someone you know has benefited from this episode! I'd love to hear about your experience!

If you love the podcast please click below to rate, review and follow - thank you!
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts

Links/Resources:

Rita's Website: Go to the Website
Contact us here: admin@ritamarieconsulting.com

Join the 30-Day Meditation Challenge - We start November 19th, 2025!
15 minutes a day. Live with Rita.
Release old patterns and create a new baseline of peace, clarity, and alignment.
Sign up here → [30-Day Meditation Challenge]

If you’ve ever felt constant money anxiety - even when you’re earning, saving, budgeting, or “doing the work” - this episode explains exactly why. In Part 1 of the Identity Series, Rita breaks down The Poverty Wound Identity: a deep unconscious pattern rooted in early scarcity, instability, and emotional survival.

Most women think they have a money problem.
They don’t.
They have a nervous system pattern built in childhood - one that tells the body it’s unsafe, unsupported, or “not enough,” even when money is coming in.

In this episode, you’ll learn how the Poverty Wound forms, why it bypasses logic, why high-achieving women still have money panic, and how it connects to codependency, over-functioning, fear-based decision-making, and self-abandonment.

This episode starts the 4-part Identity Series and helps you understand your money story.

Top 3 Takeaways:

1. The Poverty Wound is about identity, not income.
2. Childhood scarcity wiring shapes your money patterns and nervous system responses.
3. Healing requires safety, emotional awareness, and identity shifts, not more grinding.

Timestamps

[01:30] What the Poverty Wound actually is

[04:00] Why money feels unsafe (no matter how much you have)

[07:45] Childhood origins of scarcity wiring

[13:00] Nervous system patterns + survival-mode spending

[17:20] How codependency shows up in your money life

[22:00] Why high achievers still feel “not enough” financially

[26:30] How to begin shifting the Poverty Wound identity

Resources & Links:

• “What does money ‘mean’ to me emotionally?”
• “Where in my body do I feel money fear?”
• “What did I learn about safety, stability, and survival growing up?”

Sign up for The Art of Aligned Living - Weekly mindset, money, and nervous system wisdom → [Subscribe Here]

Join the 30-Day Meditation Challenge - Daily grounding and emotional regulation → Sign up here [30-Day Meditation Challenge]

Wealth & Wisdom 2026 + Wealth & Wisdom Leadership Collective Waitlist - For women ready to shift identity, build wealth, and stop over-functioning.

→ Sign up here: [Wealth & Wisdom 2026 Waitlist]
→ Sign up here: [Wealth & Wisdom Leadership Collective 2026 Waitlist]

Please be sure to tag me @RitaMarieMendez on Instagram and share this episode with your community to spread the word if you or someone you know has benefited from this episode! I'd love to hear about your experience!

If you love the podcast please click below to rate, review and follow - thank you!
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts

Links/Resources:

Rita's Website: Go to the Website
Contact us here: admin@ritamarieconsulting.com

Episode Summary:

In this powerful episode, Rita dives deep into the sneaky ways codependent behaviors infiltrate every area of life - from business and money to relationships and self-worth. She shares her own story of awakening to the drama and chaos that kept her stuck, unpacks how language patterns like “can’t,” “have to,” “always,” and “never” reinforce victim energy, and guides you toward awareness, empowerment, and freedom.
You’ll walk away with clarity, new awareness of hidden patterns, and practical exercises to reclaim your energy, boundaries, and voice.

Top 5 Takeaways:

1. Codependency is behavioral, not your identity. It’s a pattern you learned - and you can unlearn it.
2. Language reveals your programming. Words like “can’t” or “have to” signal victimhood and keep you disempowered.
3. The Drama Triangle runs unconsciously until you bring awareness to it - victim, rescuer, and persecutor roles all stem from the same root.
4. Rescuing ≠ helping. True support empowers others; rescuing depletes you and reinforces dependency.
5. Clarity is your superpower. Awareness + acceptance + aligned action = empowerment and freedom.
   
   

Timestamps:

[02:40] “How you do one thing is how you do everything” - the wake-up moment
[07:30] Codependency in business: rescuing clients & over-responsibility
[12:00] Money patterns: discounting yourself and overgiving
[16:30] The rescuer archetype & burnout
[21:00] The Drama Triangle explained: bully, victim, rescuer
[26:30] The power of language & Rita’s “no-fly words”
[33:40] Reflection questions & awareness practices

Resources & Links:

The Wealthy Woman Collective (8-Week Group Program ) → Learn More

Newsletter:The Art of Aligned Living → Subscribe Here

Book recommendation: Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Affirmations:

• I choose language that empowers me.
• Clarity is my power.
• I release fear and scarcity thinking.
• I honor my needs and trust others to handle theirs.

Please be sure to tag me @RitaMarieMendez on Instagram and share this episode with your community to spread the word if you or someone you know has benefited from this episode! I'd love to hear about your experience!

If you love the podcast please click below to rate, review and follow - thank you!
Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts

Links/Resources:

Rita's Website: Go to the Website
Contact us here: admin@ritamarieconsulting.com