Your child isn’t choosing to misbehave, their nervous system might be overriding their motivation to do the right thing in that moment. In this episode, we’re breaking down why "they know better" so often falls apart in the moment it matters most, what's actually happening in a child's brain during a meltdown or a power struggle, and why sticker charts and consequences fail when a child's nervous system has already taken the wheel.

• Why motivation isn't the problem when your child "won't" listen — and what actually is
• The difference between a fight-or-flight meltdown and a freeze/shutdown response, and why both can look like defiance
• How to shift from "won't" to "can't right now" without dropping your boundaries
• Practical, sensory-first strategies: co-regulating before correcting, catching dysregulation early, and teaching skills only once your child is calm enough to learn

Step 1: Join our free Facebook community and connect with other parents who are learning to understand behavior through a sensory and nervous system lens.

Step 2: Subscribe to the podcast for upcoming episodes in the Sensory Solutions Framework series as we continue exploring how the sensory system shapes behavior.

Step 3: This week, spend a few moments recognizing your own nervous system and regulation, especially in times when your child may be dysregulated.

💛 Related Resources:

Dr. Ross Greene: https://drrossgreene.com

There are also additional free resources on the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach and the idea that "kids do well if they can." https://livesinthebalance.org

💛 Related Episodes:

Episode 10: Struggling with Your Child's Intense Meltdowns? What's Really Happening and What to Do in the Moment

Episode 13: Why Your Toddler Falls Apart After Daycare (And What to Do About It!)

Episode 22: Does Your Child Have a Behavior Problem…or a Skill Problem? The 5 Skills Behind Better Behavior that Every Parent Needs to Know

Connect on FB -> Join our Free Facebook Community

Podcast -> Sensory Solutions for Parents

Instagram -> @SensorySolutionsforParents

DISCLAIMER

This podcast, Sensory Solutions for Parents, is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, occupational therapy, or other professional advice.

The host is a licensed occupational therapist; however, the information shared in this podcast is general in nature and may not apply to your specific child or situation. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship between you and Alison Foura, PhD, OTR/L. Any strategies, ideas, or suggestions shared are offered as general support for parents and caregivers and should be used at your own discretion, with consideration for your child’s individual needs and your family’s values.

Always seek the guidance of your child’s pediatrician, occupational therapist, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your child’s development, behavior, or health.

This podcast may also include personal experiences and, at times, faith-based perspectives. These are shared as part of Alison’s personal and professional lens and are not intended to replace individualized care or professional guidance.

Step 1: Join our free Facebook community and connect with other parents who are learning to understand behavior through a sensory and nervous system lens.

Step 2: Subscribe to the podcast for upcoming episodes in the Sensory Solutions Framework series as we continue exploring how the sensory system shapes behavior.

Step 3: This week, spend a few moments recognizing your own nervous system and regulation, especially in times when your child may be dysregulated.

💛 Related Resources:

Dr. Ross Greene: https://drrossgreene.com

There are also additional free resources on the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach and the idea that "kids do well if they can." https://livesinthebalance.org

💛 Related Episodes:

Episode 10: Struggling with Your Child's Intense Meltdowns? What's Really Happening and What to Do in the Moment

Episode 13: Why Your Toddler Falls Apart After Daycare (And What to Do About It!)

Episode 22: Does Your Child Have a Behavior Problem…or a Skill Problem? The 5 Skills Behind Better Behavior that Every Parent Needs to Know

Connect on FB -> Join our Free Facebook Community

Podcast -> Sensory Solutions for Parents

Instagram -> @SensorySolutionsforParents

DISCLAIMER

This podcast, Sensory Solutions for Parents, is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, occupational therapy, or other professional advice.

The host is a licensed occupational therapist; however, the information shared in this podcast is general in nature and may not apply to your specific child or situation. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship between you and Alison Foura, PhD, OTR/L. Any strategies, ideas, or suggestions shared are offered as general support for parents and caregivers and should be used at your own discretion, with consideration for your child’s individual needs and your family’s values.

Always seek the guidance of your child’s pediatrician, occupational therapist, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your child’s development, behavior, or health.

This podcast may also include personal experiences and, at times, faith-based perspectives. These are shared as part of Alison’s personal and professional lens and are not intended to replace individualized care or professional guidance.

Episode 30

Why 'Just Take a Bite' Doesn't Work for Extremely Picky Eaters (And What To Do Instead!)

Last time, we talked about why toddler picky eating is usually just development doing its job. But what about the kids who don't grow out of it — the five-food kids, the kids who gag at the sight of a new food before a bite ever happens?

In this episode, we go a layer deeper into extreme picky eating. You'll learn why eating isn't one single skill but a whole sequence of smaller skills, and why jumping straight to "just take a bite" skips many of the steps most kids haven't built yet. We'll also talk about two things that get overlooked constantly - how your child's body is positioned at the table, and the mealtime environment around them.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why extreme picky eating is different from typical toddler pickiness
• Why a new food can genuinely register as a threat to a child's nervous system
• Why proper seating and the right environment frees things up in your child’s body for the harder work of trying new foods
• Simple environment adjustments that reduce the sensory load at the table, without changing the food at all

The goal isn't to get your child eating everything overnight. It's to recognize that touching, smelling, or simply tolerating a new food on the plate is real progress, and that setting up their body and environment to succeed matters just as much as any food strategy.

💛 Resources Mentioned:

Link to the Nutrients article on neophobia

Dr. Kay Toomey’s SOS Approach to Feeding

💛 Next Steps: Step 1: Join our free Facebook community and connect with other parents who are learning to understand behavior through a sensory and nervous system lens. Step 2: Subscribe to the podcast for upcoming episodes. Step 3: This week, offer one new food with zero pressure to eat it — just let it sit on the plate next to something familiar, and see what happens.

💛 Related Episodes

Episode 2: Messy Play Meltdowns! Why Some Kids Struggle with Getting Their Hands Messy

Episode 8: Do mealtimes feel like you're wrangling kittens!? How positioning and body awareness impact a child's ability to sit for mealtime and what to do about it!

Episode 24: Can't Get Your Child to Calm Down? The Sensory Science Behind Co-Regulation

Episode 29: Is Your Toddler a Picky Eater? 5 Things to Try Today to Make Mealtimes Easier

💛 Connecting with Us!

Connect on FB -> Join our Free Facebook Community Podcast -> Sensory Solutions for Parents Instagram -> @SensorySolutionsforParents

DISCLAIMER

This podcast, Sensory Solutions for Parents, is intended for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, occupational therapy, or other professional advice.

The host is a licensed occupational therapist; however, the information shared in this podcast is general in nature and may not apply to your specific child or situation. Listening to this podcast does not establish a therapist-client relationship between you and Alison Foura, PhD, OTR/L. Any strategies, ideas, or suggestions shared are offered as general support for parents and caregivers and should be used at your own discretion, with consideration for your child's individual needs and your family's values.

Always seek the guidance of your child's pediatrician, occupational therapist, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding your child's development, behavior, or health.

This podcast may also include personal experiences and, at times, faith-based perspectives. These are shared as part of Alison's personal and professional lens and are not intended to replace individualized care or professional guidance.