In this episode of Relational Practice: A Social Work Podcast, Dr. Jodie Park and Rose Mackey explore a strategy often mistaken for kindness or "being an easy person," but which actually carries a high psychological price tag: Appeasement.

We examine this issue through a multi-lens theoretical approach to promote deep sense-making for practitioners. By linking Attachment Theory, the Dynamic-Maturational Model (DMM), and Polyvagal Theory, we move beyond seeing appeasement as a personality trait and instead recognize it as a sophisticated neurobiological survival map used to manage unpredictable or dangerous environments.

In this discussion, we identify Appeasement as a core behavioural strategy utilized in distinct contexts:

• In Childhood Trauma: We explore how appeasement can be a survival strategy designed to minimize environmental or relational threats to the child’s internal or external safety. We dive into the "Foster Care Trap," where the child described as an "absolute angel" an be a red flag for trauma, as they have learned that being "easy" is the only way to promote safety.
• In the Socialization of Women: We examine the societal pressures that train women from a young age to be "appeasers". We discuss how women are frequently socialized to prioritize the moods and expectations of others at the cost of authentic identity.

The discussion also covers:

• The Attachment Perspective: How the "Internal Working Model" creates a mental script where an individual feels worthy of love only when they are useful or compliant.
• Authenticity vs. Attachment: Drawing on Gabor Maté’s work, we explore the "tragic transaction" where one reflexively suppresses their authentic self to preserve a necessary connection to a caregiver or partner.
• DMM Type A Strategies: How "compulsive compliance" involves prioritizing external rules and others' states of mind over one's own internal feelings (Affect) to ensure interpersonal safety.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

Today’s episode involves discussions of trauma, childhood neglect, and domestic violence survival strategies. Please prioritize your well-being while listening.

Connect with us:

• Email: Relationalpractice01@gmail.com
• Web: https://relationalpracticeasocialworkpodcast.com.au/
• Socials: Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content and practice stories.
• Support the show: Please subscribe, rate, and review to help us reach more social workers.

Music by Hannah Park

Editing by Angus Pinkstone

In this heavy but essential episode of Relational Practice: A Social Work Podcast, Dr. Jodie Park and Rose Mackey confront the "national crisis" of domestic violence and the predictable patterns that lead to intimate partner homicide. Moving beyond media narratives that describe these tragedies as "senseless" or "out of nowhere," this discussion utilizes research from 2024–2026 to map out the "Path to Lethality."

We dive deep into criminologist Jane Monckton Smith’s 8-stage homicide timeline, exploring how a relationship moves from "fast-tracked" romance to coercive control, and ultimately to the terminal stage of homicide.

The episode also addresses the terrifying surge in filicide, examining why 1 in 4 domestic murder victims in NSW are now children and identifying the "proxy" motives and systemic failures that leave families at risk. Finally, we look at the economics of prevention, discussing the $45 billion annual burden of child maltreatment on the Australian economy and the urgent need to shift funding from crisis response to early, proactive intervention.

⚠️ Trigger Warning

Today’s episode involves detailed discussions of domestic violence, intimate partner homicide, and the death of children. This content is deeply distressing, but we believe that understanding the mechanics of this violence is the first step toward stopping it.

Support Resources

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues discussed, please reach out for support:

• Australia: Call 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) or Lifeline on 13 11 14.
• Singapore: Call the National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline (NAVH) at 1800-777-0000 or the AWARE Women's Helpline at 1800-777-5555.
• USA: Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).
• UK: Call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline at 0808 2000 247.

Please find the crisis domestic violence support number in your area.

Connect with us:

• Email: Relationalpractice01@gmail.com
• Web: https://relationalpracticeasocialworkpodcast.com.au/
• Socials: Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube for more content and practice stories.
• Support the show: Please subscribe, rate, and review to help us reach more social workers.

Music by Hannah Park

Editing by Angus Pinkstone

In this episode of Relational Practice: A Social Work Podcast, hosts Dr. Jodie Park and Rose Mackey dive into the complex world of supervised birth family contact. Moving beyond the idea that supervision is a passive task, this discussion explores the high-stakes clinical skills required to protect a child’s emotional and psychological well-being during family visits.

Drawing on research and listener feedback, Jodie and Rose break down the essential "Supervisor’s Toolkit" and provide actionable insights for decision-makers.

Key Discussion Points:

• The Nuance of Contact: Why contact can be a tool for healing, helping children resolve grief and strengthen attachments or a trigger for trauma and placement instability if managed poorly.
• The Supervisor’s Toolkit: Essential skills including trauma-informed observation, parent coaching, and maintaining clinical neutrality.
• Invisible Risk Management: Training supervisors to spot subtle emotional abuse, such as grooming behaviours, that untrained observers might miss.
• Planning for Decision-Makers: Why case managers and judges must define the "Why" of contact (reunification/restoration vs. identity-building) and account for the “Contact Hangover”, the behavioural fallout a child experiences after a visit.
• Quality Over Quantity: Understanding why poor-quality contact can be more damaging than no contact at all.

Connect with Relational Practice: We love hearing from our community! Please send your practice stories, questions, or comments to relationalpractice01@gmail.com.

You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and our new YouTube page for regular content updates.

Music by Hannah Park

Editing by Angus Pinkstone