If your kid is "fine at school" and then falls apart at home, this episode will make the whole thing make sense. Dr. Amy explains why the home–school mismatch happens (no shame, no blame) and how to connect what you see at home with what school sees at school so you can stop guessing and start advocating clearly.

• Why "same kid, different math" is the key reframe when school and home look totally different
• How to spot the hidden supports at school that don't exist at home (and why that matters)
• A simple way to map Demands, Supports, and Load so the after school crash makes sense
• What to ask next when you hear "they're fine"
• How to communicate with school without writing a novel

• After school boundary
  "After school is reset time. I'm not doing requests yet. First snack and ten minutes to land, then we'll talk."
• Same kid, different math
  "Same kid. Different math. School and home ask for different skills, at different times, with different supports."
• Teacher question
  "What supports help them most during transitions?"
  "What supports help them most during independent work?"
• Short 'compare notes' email
  "Hi [Name], I'm noticing a big after school crash at home. Can we compare notes about transitions and independent work? What helps them most at school when they're starting to wobble? I'd love to align home supports with what's working there. Thank you, [Your Name]"

• Write one Dot Log sentence today (not a journal, not a spreadsheet, one sentence)
• Reset before requests after school (ten minutes counts)
• Ask one teacher question from above
• Keep your message to 6–8 lines and send it
• Take one long exhale before you respond to the meltdown, not after

Pick one. One is enough.

• Big Feelings Decoder: translate big behavior into what's going on underneath so you can respond more calmly and communicate more clearly with school. Grab it here: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

If your child is "fine" at school and then absolutely falls apart at home—over homework, the wrong snack, or a sibling breathing—this episode is for you. Dr. Amy Patenaude explains after-school meltdowns with the Coke Bottle Kid metaphor: school is the shaking, home is where the cap comes off. You'll get a simple stage map (shaken → fizzing → cap-tight → pop → recovery) plus a practical strategy to release pressure before things explode.

• Why after-school meltdowns are often nervous system "pressure release," not bad attitude

• How to spot the 5 Coke Bottle stages so you can intervene earlier

• The "Burp the Bottle" strategy: tiny pressure releases that prevent the full pop

• What to do in the moment when your child says things like "I want to hit" (safety + boundaries, without shame)

• How to use the Pattern → Hypothesis → Two-Week Experiment script with school when they say, "We don't see that here"

• Create a "refuel station" at your kitchen island: water + two snack options (strategy, not a buffet).

• Protect the first 10–20 minutes after school: no homework talk, no interrogations. Reset first.

• Swap your homework opener: instead of "What homework do you have?" try "Show me your folder—after snack, we'll do the five-minute start."

• Use a sibling buffer rule: first 10 minutes after school = space (different rooms, headphones, "no touching/no commenting").

• Send the two-week support sprint email and ask for one "release valve" at school (movement break or end-of-day decompression).

Pick one. One is enough.

• Big Feelings Decoder — Decode big reactions into "what's underneath this?" plus simple scripts for the next hard moment: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder

• Many clinicians describe a pattern where kids hold it together all day at school and then "release" that effort at home—often with their safest people.

• After school is commonly a low-capacity window, so adding demands (like homework processing) immediately can intensify meltdowns rather than prevent them.

• "Big reactions to small things" can reflect anxiety, ADHD traits, learning stress, sensory overload, or other neurodivergence—so curiosity and support tend to work better than character judgments.

• Self-regulation grows through coaching + practice, especially when adults help kids notice early body cues and use tools before escalation.

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

In this behind-the-curtain episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares what runDisney's Dopey Challenge (four races in four days) taught her about endurance parenting—especially in the after-school hours when everyone's bandwidth is gone. You'll get a brain-based way to think about pacing, boundaries, Plan B moments, and repair—plus copy/paste school advocacy language and Tiny Wins you can try this week.

• How to shift from "fix it today" to an endurance question: "What makes later easier?"
• Why after-school meltdowns often mean "you hit a hard mile," not "you're doing it wrong."
• The brain-based reason lectures flop at 4:12 p.m. (thinking brain quieter, survival brain louder) and what helps instead.
• A gentle hot take: boundaries aren't punishment—they're pacing (the pace your family can hold).
• The "minivan option" for parenting: Plan B + helpers + basic regulation moves when the schedule (or your nervous system) falls apart.
• Exactly what "repair" can sound like when your tone shows up—and how to do a do-over without a shame spiral.

• Ask the dress-rehearsal question each morning: "What makes later easier?"
• Add a 10-minute decompression buffer after school (food/water/quiet/movement—whatever your child tolerates).
• Hold one Balloon Lady boundary kindly: one pace line (homework cutoff, screen transition, one thing).
• Put your "medic tent" list on a sticky note: Pause. Water. Food. Fewer words. Repair.
• Make one deposit before a demand: "I'm glad you're home." A hug. A joke. A cookie. Yes, it counts.

Pick one. One is enough.

• Big Feelings Decoder — understand what's underneath the meltdown and what to do next without turning it into a power struggle: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder

Amy uses plain-language nervous-system science to explain why reasoning and "better lectures" don't land when a kid (or parent) is overwhelmed: the thinking brain gets quieter and the survival brain gets louder, so the most effective next step is often regulation first (food, water, movement, quiet, connection), then problem-solving.

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

It's 9:47pm, the kitchen is "less dangerous," and then a totally normal school email sends your brain into full threat-detection mode. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down how to use AI tools like ChatGPT for parenting and school support without letting them fuel anxiety spirals, rewrite loops, or panic-research. You'll get guardrails, a simple stop sign, and tiny scripts that help you sound like your regulated self, not your 10pm self.

• Why AI can be helpful and also a surprisingly efficient anxiety amplifier when you're depleted
• The core frame to remember: AI is the intern, you are the principal
• A quick stop sign for the spiral moment and a one-step reset you can do in under 30 seconds
• What AI is good for in school-world and what not to use it for
• A "hero example" for writing a school email that is warm, clear, and collaborative
• The guardrails that keep you out of the rabbit hole: the 3-Prompt Rule and the 10-minute timer with a definition of done

• Set a 10-minute timer before you open AI and decide what "done" means (one email you can actually send)
• Use the 3-Prompt Rule: draft, revise tone, final, then stop
• Use the stoplight filter
  • Green: drafts, scripts, brainstorming, organizing notes
  • Yellow: school support language and behavior ideas (slow down, use judgment)
  • Red: diagnosis, safety plans, legal advice
• De-identify your child's story: no names, no school, no screenshots of private documents
• Use the freebie the Tiny Wins way: one prompt, one sticky-note script, try it once

Pick one. One is enough.

• 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents
  Tiny scripts, not perfect parenting, to help you get unstuck fast.
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/aiprompts4parents
• Boredom Buster Guide
  Quick, low-prep ideas to reduce boredom spirals without you becoming the entertainment committee.
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/boredomebusterguide
• Big Feeling Decoder
  Turn "hard behavior" into brain-based insight plus next-step scripts for the messy moments.
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder
• Research snapshot

  Research mentioned: Szondy and Magyary (2025), Wiederhold (2018), Sun et al. (2024), Ashraf (2024), and Isernia (2024).

  Disclaimer

  This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

  Share with a friend

  If you know a parent who's rewriting school emails at 10:30pm with a tight chest and 47 tabs open, text them this episode and say: "This made me feel less alone."

Mornings, homework, transitions, and bedtime can turn into total chaos when your child's executive function system hits overload. In this episode, I'll help you spot an executive function "traffic jam" in real time, translate "won't" into "can't yet, not like this," and use simple supports that lower conflict without lowering expectations. You'll leave with scripts you can say out loud and Tiny Wins that act like on-ramps when real life is coming in hot at 7:42 a.m.

• What executive functioning is (and what it is not) in plain parent language
• How to tell the difference between a skill problem, a fuel problem, and a support mismatch with the Jam Check: Skill, Fuel, Fit
• A brain-based traffic system metaphor that makes working memory, inhibition, flexibility, planning, initiation, time, and regulation finally click
• Why "they can do it sometimes" is not proof of manipulation, it's often proof of overload under stress
• What to say in the moment so you can add support without turning it into a debate
• A quick School Translator Minute so teacher feedback like "capable but inconsistent" turns into practical supports you can request

• Create one Drop Zone for the daily essentials (backpack, shoes, water bottle, instrument) and make it ridiculously easy to use
• Make one visual checklist for one routine (3 to 5 steps max) so fewer steps have to live in your voice
• Preview plus buffer for a recurring transition: "In five minutes we're switching. Two minutes before, I'll remind you."
• Use a body double for ignition: stay nearby just long enough for your child to start
• Make one micro-agreement for one recurring battle (homework start, shoes, bedtime steps) and keep it predictable for a week

Pick one. One is enough.

• Boredom Buster Guide
  Quick, low-prep ideas to reduce boredom spirals without you becoming the entertainment committee.
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/boredomebusterguide
• Big Feeling Decoder
  Turn "hard behavior" into brain-based insight plus next-step scripts for the messy moments.
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder
• 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents
  Parent-friendly prompts to reduce decision fatigue and help you get unstuck faster.
  https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/aiprompts4parents

Research mentioned: Jacobson et al. (2011), Lucassen et al. (2015), Spruijt et al. (2020), and O'Reilly et al. (2025).

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

If your house turns into a courtroom at 4:07pm (shoes, snack, homework, all the feelings), you are not alone. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down the "Invisible Rule Book" at home: all the expectations living in your head that your child cannot actually see. You'll learn how to make expectations clear, doable, and way less arguable, especially for strong willed, big feeling kids and neurodivergent kids with executive function challenges.

• Spot the invisible expectations that trigger daily power struggles after school
• Reframe "defiance" as a skills plus nervous system moment (often not "won't," but "can't yet")
• Define what "done" looks like so your child is not set up to fail (or argue)
• Use three simple scripts that reduce arguing and transition explosions: Define Done, First Then, and Choice within Structure
• Run one seven day micro routine experiment without turning your whole household into a chart system

• Choose one friction point (start with the after school routine)
• Name the invisible expectation you are holding in your head
• Turn it into a three step "Done List" (three steps, not ten)
• Put it where it happens (by the door, snack spot, or homework station)
• Use the same words for seven days, then adjust after a week (not after one rough day)

Pick one. One is enough.

• Boredom Buster Guide: Quick, low prep ideas for those "I'm bored" moments that tend to turn into chaos. Get it here.
• Big Feelings Decoder: Translate meltdowns into brain and nervous system language, plus what to try next. Get it here.
• 50 AI Prompts for Tired Parents: Copy and paste prompts to get scripts, calm responses, and next steps when your brain is fried. Get it here.
• Tiny Wins Email List: Get scripts, tiny experiments, and realistic resets for real life parenting (especially the after school danger zone). Join here.

• Teacher and parent expectations do not perfectly match, which helps explain why kids can look "defiant" when they are actually bumping into different unspoken rules across settings. (Lane et al., 2007)
• Expectations work best when adults define them clearly and then teach and practice them, instead of assuming kids will infer what we mean. (Carter & Pool, 2012)
• Routines and rules function like "structure that holds" when they are taught in small steps and practiced until they are established, reducing the need for constant correction. (Fink & Siedentop, 1989)

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.

It's easy to build a beautiful family plan in January and then feel crushed when real life shows up. In today's episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares a brain-based alternative: the Tiny Wins Roadmap. You'll pick a North Star for how you want home to feel, name one skill your child is practicing, and choose one Tiny Win to run as a simple 7-day experiment so your plan works on a random Tuesday, not just on a motivated Sunday.

• How to choose a North Star word that guides your whole year without turning into rigid rules
• What Tiny Wins actually means and why outcomes are not actions
• The brain-based reason routines help: predictability lowers stress and reduces decision fatigue
• How to frame hard moments as skill practice (starting, sticking, transitioning) instead of character flaws
• A real-life after-school homework start line routine you can copy: snack, decompress, 7-minute timer, start together
• A short school email script to get teachers on the same team with skill-based language

Pick one. One is enough.

1. The 5-minute Sunday Game Plan: Set a 5-minute timer. Pick one Tiny Win for the week. Write it on a sticky note.
2. Anchor a habit: After teeth, do a 2-minute tomorrow check (clothes and backpack).
3. Environment tweak: Create a backpack hook or landing zone, choose one timer location, or set up a visible snack bin.
4. Skill-based praise: "I noticed you started even though you didn't want to. That's the skill."

Download the Boredom Buster Cheat Sheet, a kid-friendly Move, Meet, Mellow menu with activity ideas, simple steps to use it, and calm scripts for screen-time boundaries:
https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/boredomebusterguide

Want help finding words when your brain is fried? Download 50 AI Prompts for Exhausted Parents, tiny scripts for meltdowns, school emails, screen time, all of it. Copy a prompt into ChatGPT and let it help you draft the words so your tired brain doesn't have to start from scratch:
https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/aiprompts4parents

If you're parenting a big-feeling, strong-willed kid and you're thinking, "What is happening right now?" I made something for you. Get simple, brain-based support for parenting big feelings, plus a quick guide to help you decode what's really going on underneath meltdowns and shutdowns.
Big Feelings Decoder: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder

This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not medical, psychological, or legal advice. Listening to this podcast does not create a provider-client relationship. If you're concerned about your child's mental health, safety, or development, please consult a qualified professional in your area.