Susannah was listening to a true crime podcast while ironing when a hostage negotiator's description of his job stopped her mid-task — and it turned out to describe almost exactly what happens in a fear spiral. In this short episode, she breaks down why the first move in a hostage negotiation is to slow everything down (not speed up), why that same counterintuitive move is actually the first and most helpful step we can take, and what it actually looks like to "put your hands in your pockets" when it feels like your mind is holding you hostage.

In this episode:

• The one thing hostage negotiators do first — and why it's the opposite of what instinct tells you
• Why urgency is the tactic, not the evidence, when it comes to intrusive thoughts
• What "your mind is holding YOU hostage" really means, and why that phrase might describe your 2am better than "anxious thought" does
• How this corresponds to Susannah's signature three-step method that she teaches clients
• Small, practical ways to slow down in the moment (without pretending it's easy)

Susannah's Free Mini Course for Moms:If you're in the thick of postpartum or early motherhood and you're wondering why anxiety and intrusive thoughts are showing up the way they are — I made something for you. Join my email list and get instant access to my free mini course, Why Is This Happening to Me?! Understanding Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum and Early Motherhood. Click ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠ or head to ⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠ to sign up.

Want more support on your journey? Check out my signature program, Motherhood Beyond Fear, or apply to work with me 1:1 at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got a question about early motherhood, anxiety, or anything we discussed today? I'd love to hear from you! Send your questions to susannah@susannahlongcoaching.com and I might feature your question (anonymously) in a future episode.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast represents the opinions of Susannah Long, LMFT. The content of this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for medical or mental health care from a licensed mental health professional. In no way does listening, emailing, or interacting on social media platforms with content establish a therapist - client relationship or coach - client relationship.

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We prepare extensively for the birth of a baby — and almost not at all for the birth of the mother. In this episode, I sit down with Sarah Cassidy, author of Swaddled: Stories to Wrap a Mother in Love, to talk about the internal transformation of matrescence, why so much well-meaning postpartum support misses the mark, and what it actually means to be held rather than just helped.

Sarah shares her own "no one told me" postpartum story — the surprise of the identity shift, the grief for a former self that can coexist with deep love for a new baby, and the nearly 20 years it took her to turn that experience into a book meant to help other women feel less alone.

We talk about:

• Why the postpartum identity shift is underestimated, under-recognized, and under-supported
• The difference between being helped (practical, tactical support) and being held (emotional presence and attunement)
• Why questions like "how's the baby sleeping?" can leave a new mother feeling invisible — and what to ask instead
• The subtle but real shift from constant affirmation during pregnancy appointments to a "what's wrong?" lens postpartum
• Why gifts for the mother — not just the baby — matter more than we realize
• The generational pattern of emotional suppression that gets unconsciously passed down
• Sarah's three core messages from Swaddled: you are not alone, you are the perfect mother for your baby, and your life will come back to you

Sarah's book, Swaddled, is available at swaddledbysarah.com.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a mom who might need to hear it — and if you're finding these conversations helpful, following the show and leaving a review helps other moms find their way here too.

Susannah's Free Mini Course for Moms:If you're in the thick of postpartum or early motherhood and you're wondering why anxiety and intrusive thoughts are showing up the way they are — I made something for you. Join my email list and get instant access to my free mini course, Why Is This Happening to Me?! Understanding Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum and Early Motherhood. Click ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠ or head to ⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠ to sign up.

Want more support on your journey? Check out my signature program, Motherhood Beyond Fear, or apply to work with me 1:1 at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got a question about early motherhood, anxiety, or anything we discussed today? I'd love to hear from you! Send your questions to susannah@susannahlongcoaching.com and I might feature your question (anonymously) in a future episode.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast represents the opinions of Susannah Long, LMFT. The content of this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for medical or mental health care from a licensed mental health professional. In no way does listening, emailing, or interacting on social media platforms with content establish a therapist - client relationship or coach - client relationship.

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If your mind seems to find a new thing to worry about every time you make peace with the last one, this episode is for you.

When fears keep bouncing from topic to topic, it's easy to wonder if you're getting worse — or if you've finally stumbled onto the real problem. In this episode, I'm sharing the idea that completely changed how I understood my own experience of anxiety, drawing on David Hawkins' concept of form versus underlying energy. The topic of your fear might matter a lot less than you think.

Key Takeaways

• Anxiety that keeps switching themes isn't evidence that you're getting worse — it may actually be a clue that the topic was never the real issue
• There's a difference between the form of anxiety (the story, the topic) and the underlying energy (the feeling beneath it) — and most of us spend all our time trying to solve the form
• When fear is active, the mind is remarkably good at finding new things to attach it to — which is why reassurance only ever works temporarily
• The goal isn't to finally find the right answer to the right fear — it's to become willing to feel the feeling underneath the thought
• Allowing an emotion to be present without immediately trying to escape it is a skill, and it's one you can build

Susannah's Free Mini Course for Moms:If you're in the thick of postpartum or early motherhood and you're wondering why anxiety and intrusive thoughts are showing up the way they are — I made something for you. Join my email list and get instant access to my free mini course, Why Is This Happening to Me?! Understanding Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum and Early Motherhood. Click ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠ or head to ⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠ to sign up.

Want more support on your journey? Check out my signature program, Motherhood Beyond Fear, or apply to work with me 1:1 at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got a question about early motherhood, anxiety, or anything we discussed today? I'd love to hear from you! Send your questions to susannah@susannahlongcoaching.com and I might feature your question (anonymously) in a future episode.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast represents the opinions of Susannah Long, LMFT. The content of this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for medical or mental health care from a licensed mental health professional. In no way does listening, emailing, or interacting on social media platforms with content establish a therapist - client relationship or coach - client relationship.

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