We prepare extensively for the birth of a baby — and almost not at all for the birth of the mother. In this episode, I sit down with Sarah Cassidy, author of Swaddled: Stories to Wrap a Mother in Love, to talk about the internal transformation of matrescence, why so much well-meaning postpartum support misses the mark, and what it actually means to be held rather than just helped.

Sarah shares her own "no one told me" postpartum story — the surprise of the identity shift, the grief for a former self that can coexist with deep love for a new baby, and the nearly 20 years it took her to turn that experience into a book meant to help other women feel less alone.

We talk about:

• Why the postpartum identity shift is underestimated, under-recognized, and under-supported
• The difference between being helped (practical, tactical support) and being held (emotional presence and attunement)
• Why questions like "how's the baby sleeping?" can leave a new mother feeling invisible — and what to ask instead
• The subtle but real shift from constant affirmation during pregnancy appointments to a "what's wrong?" lens postpartum
• Why gifts for the mother — not just the baby — matter more than we realize
• The generational pattern of emotional suppression that gets unconsciously passed down
• Sarah's three core messages from Swaddled: you are not alone, you are the perfect mother for your baby, and your life will come back to you

Sarah's book, Swaddled, is available at swaddledbysarah.com.

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a mom who might need to hear it — and if you're finding these conversations helpful, following the show and leaving a review helps other moms find their way here too.

Susannah's Free Mini Course for Moms:If you're in the thick of postpartum or early motherhood and you're wondering why anxiety and intrusive thoughts are showing up the way they are — I made something for you. Join my email list and get instant access to my free mini course, Why Is This Happening to Me?! Understanding Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts in Postpartum and Early Motherhood. Click ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠ or head to ⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠ to sign up.

Want more support on your journey? Check out my signature program, Motherhood Beyond Fear, or apply to work with me 1:1 at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠susannahlongcoaching.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Got a question about early motherhood, anxiety, or anything we discussed today? I'd love to hear from you! Send your questions to susannah@susannahlongcoaching.com and I might feature your question (anonymously) in a future episode.

DISCLAIMER: This podcast represents the opinions of Susannah Long, LMFT. The content of this podcast is for educational purposes only and is not a replacement for medical or mental health care from a licensed mental health professional. In no way does listening, emailing, or interacting on social media platforms with content establish a therapist - client relationship or coach - client relationship.

postpartum support, postpartum help, postpartum anxiety, postpartum anxiety help, postpartum mental health, postpartum mental health support, new moms, new motherhood, becoming a mother, postpartum identity, motherhood identity shift, postpartum emotions, postpartum recovery, early motherhood, how to support a new mom, postpartum support for moms, postpartum help for new moms, motherhood transition, birth of a mother, postpartum grief, identity after baby, mom identity loss, emotional support for new moms, postpartum isolation, mom mental health, postpartum wellness, new mom support, postpartum gifts, supporting new mothers, postpartum coaching, postpartum therapy, mom podcast, postpartum stories, motherhood stories, new mom struggles, mom overwhelm, motherhood grief, self after baby, life after having a baby, mom transformation, honest motherhood, fourth trimester, postpartum intrusive thoughts, postpartum overwhelm, anxious new mom, how to help a new mom, ways to support postpartum moms