In this opening episode, I set the baseline for this mini-series: what severe ADHD looks like in my real life when I strip away labels and speak honestly. I break down medication inconsistency, RSD as my core trigger, internal and external overload, health anxiety, the “dark tunnel” at night, and the day-to-day reality of trying to stay functional under pressure.

This is my first-person account of habit loops, gambling harm, debt caused by executive-function breakdown, customer service punishment cycles, trust issues, and survival-mode parenting — including why I can seem “OTT” protective when I’ve lived proof that life can change without warning.

This isn’t a polished hero story. It’s my operating system behind the chaos, and the baseline for everything that comes next.

I break down what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria actually feels like — how it shows up, what it does to your body, and the stories your brain can attach to small moments like tone shifts, silence, or being corrected. I also explain why it can hit hardest in relationships, how shutdown gets misunderstood, and what helps without walking on eggshells.

In this episode, I break down why relationships involving ADHD so often struggle, not from a place of blame or excuses, but from a place of understanding what’s actually going on beneath the surface.

In this episode, I’m sharing my personal experience with ADHD medication: what worked, what didn’t, and why there’s no such thing as a one-size-fits-all approach. This isn’t medical advice and it isn’t theory — it’s lived reality.

This episode is on hyperfocus, the so-called ADHD superpower. I give my views on the subject and explain the reasons I don’t believe it is a superpower.

In this episode of NICUP, I go deep into what RSD actually feels like — how silence becomes personal, how tone changes trigger threat, and why reactions can feel automatic rather than chosen.

This is an insight into RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria).

I feel it is one of the biggest parts of ADHD. It can make or break you in a lot of situations.

I recommend this episode for partners of ADHDers

An introduction to the podcast.