John Allen brings his finger-wagging internal censor Pal along to try to defeat "what is" by surrendering to it. Yeah right. That's going to fucking happen.

Pal tries every trick he knows to get his friend to see that he's lost any resemblance to a real boy and has turned into a bad replica of one.

Find out how you too can end up a vassal, mistaking it for love. On sale now — balls at cut-rate prices. Act now or maintain your dignity.

John can't stop himself, though. He has not moved on. He doesn't want to, but he does want to call her every single day upon awakening, or when he's wandering around the empty house at 3 a.m., thinking he might sleep and not sleeping, wanting to see her so much that he would give anything—anything—just to laugh with her once more, and is willing to be heartbroken again and again and again because all the pain would be worth it just to hold her hand one more time.

But then again, there is always lunch.

John Allen returns for a return cage match with God hoping that this time he will finally triumph. This fight is to the death and there are no rules. This is heartbreak. Real heartbreak. Not the kind on sitcoms. Nope this is heartbreak without any uplifting moral or any greater meaning other than you fucking lost and you are never going to get back up on your feet. So enjoy it down there on the canvas.You are done. Oh- and John, stop fucking crying. It's embarassing.

John Allen returns to the struggle of saying yes to what is and losing yet again, this time to love. This is not a story about a breakup. It is an elegy for an open wound. traced through memory, music, obsession and the body itself.

The heart break is never ending. The stakes are very high. This is the grail wound-a land laid waste where no birds sing- and the only thing that heals it is attention..

There is no advice here .No lesson, No moral. No finger wagging bullshit. There is only witness.

John Allen brings his son in as backup in his ongoing argument with what is.

My son and I discuss the only relevant questions that really count. How do I get more girls and not get cancelled? Is there an age where it's just too creepy to keep hitting on the babes? Are all men misogynist? My answer to that one really pissed off my girlfriend now my ex-girlfriend. So totally worth it. I thought the bit about Jesus looking like a twink would've been the one, but she didn't get that far.

Other vital questions covered:

Are there any topics a twenty-something adult is allowed to talk about in today's culture? Apparently not — but we worked hard and found a few nonetheless. Like: at what age did my son know I was a dick?

What else? Oh yes — my favourite, and very practical these days: how to pick up chicks on the train on the way to Auschwitz? And another vital question: is there a way to say "Into Wim Hof?" to a half-naked Asian girl on the beach without sounding way too creepy?

Is being pussy-whipped a good thing? And on that note, is it possible to go out with a woman for longer than 5 years without just doing whatever she wants? Actually, make that one week.

Does the fact that a father is talking to his son about how long is just too long to go down on someone — even if you really like doing it — mean we should be institutionalized or just shot like dogs? Does not being able to move your jaw for two days constitute too long? See what this healthy, normal father-son exchange has to say about that thorny tantric issue.

Can you be a sex addict and be celibate for five years, or is that just proof you're an addict because you need to be away from the supply? Oh shit — that's in the next episode, where I get my heart broken by the aforementioned girlfriend who, if she thought she was pissed off before over this podcast… well honey (I'm not allowed to call her that now that we're not together, but I am rebelling), you ain't seen nothing yet. Stay tuned for that one.

DON'T PICK A FIGHT WITH A MAN WHO BUYS HIS INK BY THE BOTTLE.

Just a sweetener for the next episode where I get totally erased by a not-so-very-nice gal… who I fall totally in love with, of course.

This was recorded a few years ago. I've been saving it.

John Allen is back to face what is.

What am I?

Suffering is not a glitch. It's a call to pay attention to what you are having an argument with in reality.With what is. With God. And guess what? You will lose every fuckin' time if you go toe to toe with God. LOL Just saying

John Allen makes a deal with "what is". Once again 'what is" pulls the football away.

Dare to be pretentious

Ash Wednesday.

6:10 Falling out with the therapist

6:30 Always willing to give it a shot.

8:00 Sin in original Aramaic means to miss the point.

10:00 Lots of cool shit is going on when you pay attention

12:45 I was going to talk about loving

13:30 It's so...That made me laugh. For real...good joke

15:25 Glory holes

15:45 I do crack myself up

16:00 Giving Irving a blast...

16:47 Gapped out.. What did I say? I am back now..oh exposure therapy...or denial...

19:50 I laughed at the mean dog joke. I did laugh listening to it again...

23:40 So two narcissists walk into a bar...

33 old guy sport joke...decided to leave it in..even though it makes me sound line an old guy...

John Allen loses yet again to what is. This time he doesn't even make it to the end of the round.

Shakespeare starts Hamlet AFTER the king is dead. That's drama. The reaction.

1:50 Because I have nothing to lose I am free to talk but it's shocking that most people don't have that freedom.

2:30 Freedom of speech is in serious danger. Danger! Danger! Will Robinson

4:50 It's not that they will lose their jobs for speaking; now it's even standing next to someone who says something can get you fired.

9:37 Joe Biden Am I still alive?

11:00 Don't take away my words.

12:00 A safe space in my day was being able to say what you wanted without consequence.

13:00 A push pull relationship with success

15:05 Mark iv panther tank pulls up in front of house.

16:05 I've grown up to be a weird troll.

17:50 Did I say the quiet thing?

18:00 I mean Joe is ahead 8 points not Donald.

18:30 I crack myself up.

20:00 Holding on by Chief Justice Robert's fingernails and Justice Ginsburg's pancreas

23:00 Monitor yourself.

26:00 What can I tell ya? LOL

34:00 It's a metaphor ladies and gentlemen

33:30 I aint no Guru I only play one on TV

36:30 Ask yourself what the fuck is happening and then investigate

38:04 Take two minutes and just shut the fuck up.

40:00 These people have really let us down

41:45 How are you spinning this?

42:00 What I never tell in that story.

45:00 You have everything you need in this moment or you would be dead

46:00 The Dogs Bark and the Caravan moves on

John Allen losing to what is...again.

I thought I was the guy making the joke; but it turned out, that I am actually the joke.
A dark place
Giving up Sir Galahad
Guys turning their girlfriends into Mommy
We want them around making us a sandwich but not actually...
I got a prostate like an Idaho potato but I am still a good stick man- Marlon Brando Last Tango in Paris.
The teeter totter
Should I bother talking about the cancel culture and how stupid it is?
Am I brothers and sisters in the left wing really going to tank this? Defund the police? Really? What do you got in there? Sawdust?"
Cassandra part 2- Dudes! There are Greek soldiers in that horse. I kid you not.
The Film Festival and the Day Care
No More Process
Getting the shit kicked out of me
Come on man- Joe Biden about everything
The Supreme court turned into a bunch of pussies. Big Surprise
It was 8 zip in the Nixon Tape case not 9 zip.