You want to feel closer to other people.

But when someone asks how you really are, you hurriedly respond “yeah, good” and then return the question before they can ask anything else.

In today’s episode I am going to talk about why that is, what to do about it, and a new way to work with me if you want dedicated support on this.

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There are at least four fantasies people hold about friendship and belonging. The fantasies themself aren’t the problem — the problem is that when those fantasies aren’t met, it can leave you feeling like a complete failure. In this blog I talk about what those fantasies are, what the research actually says about friendships, and how you can find friendship fulfillment.

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Book your free call to talk about how my 1:1 coaching program, Bold Belonging, can help you build an intentional support circle of chosen family - even if you’re afraid you’re “not enough” or “too much.”

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Resources Used

Degges‐White, S., & Kepic, M. (2020). Friendships, subjective age, and life satisfaction of women in midlife. Adultspan Journal, 19(1), 39-53.

How many friends do you really need in adulthood?. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201908/how-many-friends-do-you-really-need-in-adulthood

Evidence brief: How many friends do you need?: Social connection guidelines. Evidence Brief | How Many Friends Do You Need? | Social Connection Guidelines. (n.d.). https://www.socialconnectionguidelines.org/en/evidence-briefs/how-many-friends-do-you-need

Russell, T. (2025, May 10). What is differentiation? meaning in therapy & relationships. Cascade Counseling Utah | Reconnect With What Matters. https://www.cascadecounselingutah.com/blog/understanding-differentiation-in-therapy-why-it-matters-for-your-mental-health/

What role does writing and storytelling play in our healing as bi and multiracial individuals. In today's episode, I sit down with writer, editor, and teacher, Anne Liu Kellor to discuss her newest publication, Mixed Roots: Writers on Multiracial Identity & Both/And Belonging with Anne Liu Kellor. We talk about Anne's own writing process, the workshops she leads, and more.

Anne's Reading Raina-Bow Recommendations:

1) The Hyphenated Life by Dr. Han Ren

2) Good Woman: A Reckoning by Savala Nolan

You can learn more about Anne at www.anneliukellor.com

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Book your free call to talk about how my 1:1 coaching program, Bold Belonging, can help you build an intentional support circle of at least 3 chosen family in 16 weeks - even if you’re afraid of being “too much.”

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