Have you noticed that becoming better somehow made you feel more lost? This video explores the concept of "self creation", distinguishing it from simple "self improvement". We'll discuss why this "personal development" can feel destabilising, and how a "mindset shift" is crucial for a "growth mindset" to truly take hold. These "life lessons" will help you understand that confusion isn't a sign you're doing something wrong.

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Summary

In this conversation, Stacie Spiler explores the dynamics of collective consciousness and the impact of emotional energy on societal change. She discusses how society often focuses on negativity and fear, which hinders creation and transformation. By shifting our awareness towards love, possibility, and solutions, we can foster a more positive collective energy that leads to meaningful change. The conversation emphasises the importance of emotional states in shaping our reality and encourages listeners to cultivate a consciousness that prioritises healing and empowerment.

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In this conversation, Stacie Spiler explores the concept of projection in relationships, emphasizing how our beliefs about ourselves influence our perceptions of others. She explains that relationships serve as mirrors, reflecting our internal beliefs and providing opportunities for self-examination. By understanding projection, individuals can shift their focus from blaming others to questioning their own beliefs, leading to healthier interactions and personal growth.

takeaways

• What you project, you believe.
• Relationships are the classroom for self-discovery.
• Projections are beliefs placed onto others.
• Our perceptions of others reveal our self-beliefs.
• Projection is a learning strategy of the mind.
• Beliefs are often unconscious and unexamined.
• Relationships provide emotional charge for projections.
• Questioning beliefs can change relationship dynamics.
• Conversations become simpler when beliefs are examined.
• Projection can be a tool for personal growth.

Watch Episode: https://youtu.be/cjr3f9x-Hvs?si=EYmy6DVd69zmdn0n

In this conversation, Stacie Spiler discusses the profound effects of trauma and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on the brain and behavior. She shares her personal journey from experiencing abuse to healing, outlining five concrete steps she took to recover. Stacie emphasizes the importance of understanding the impact of personality disorders, the role of relationships in healing, and the necessity of taking radical responsibility for one's actions. She also highlights the significance of intentional solitude for integration and finding wholeness after trauma.

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takeaways

• Trauma reshapes how individuals react and attach to others.
• Survival responses can lead to destructive behaviors.
• Healing is a long process that requires responsibility.
• Understanding the brain's response to trauma is crucial for healing.
• Relationships can be both a wound and a source of healing.
• Medication can provide temporary support but is not a solution.
• Intentional solitude is necessary for true integration.
• Healing allows individuals to reclaim their lives and identities.
• Patterns of behavior can be unlearned with time and effort.
• The journey of healing is about living intentionally and responsibly.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Trauma and Its Lasting Effects

09:55 The Impact of Personality Disorders on the Brain

20:05 Steps to Healing from BPD and CPDSD

27:20 The Role of Relationships in Healing

This Is Why So Many People Quit Their Dreams — not because the dream is wrong, but because the climb demands more of you than anyone tells you.

In this video, I explore the part of growth that rarely gets spoken about: the internal resistance that shows up when you move toward something that actually matters. Not loud fear or doubt, but quiet hesitation, self-sabotage, and the urge to pull back just as things start to change.

Drawing on ideas from The War of Art and lived experience, this conversation looks at why pursuing your dream can feel destabilising, why pushing harder often makes it worse, and what this phase is really asking of you on an identity and nervous system level.

This isn’t motivation, and it isn’t about quitting.

It’s about understanding the cost of becoming someone new — and why feeling this way doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

If you’re in the middle of the climb and questioning yourself, this video is for you.

Watch on: https://youtu.be/vj3-6wBB_L8

What if the deepest grief of your life doesn’t arrive when the trauma happens—but decades later, when survival is no longer required?

In this episode, Learning the Hardest Path to Walk Leads Straight Back to Me, I share a rarely spoken stage of healing: the grief that surfaced at forty-three, more than twenty years after the original trauma. Not as sadness or despair, but as the collapse of identity, meaning, and every narrative I had used to survive.

I speak openly about grieving what never was—the childhood that couldn’t form safely, the parents who couldn’t show up, and the hope that one day connection or understanding would arrive and make it all make sense. We explore how trauma narratives aren’t erased by insight, but written over, waiting for safety to be felt in the body.

This episode challenges familiar ideas like “everything happens for a reason,” examines responsibility without shame, and names the dark night of the soul as the dismantling of survival identity rather than pathology.

This is a conversation about the hardest path to walk—letting go of meaning, external repair, and familiar suffering—and how that path leads back to self, not as an idea or destination, but as presence.

Chapters

00:00 Understanding Cyclical Relationships

10:27 Separation: Healing vs. Hurting

20:35 The Role of Relapse in Growth

28:46 Transformative Potential of Cyclical Relationships

Summary

This conversation explores cyclical relationships, characterised by patterns of breaking up and reuniting. It delves into the psychological and relational dynamics that contribute to these cycles, emphasising the importance of understanding attachment styles and the role of trauma. The discussion highlights the difference between healing and harmful separations, the significance of relapse as a part of the growth process, and the necessity of integrating insights gained during separation back into the relationship. Ultimately, it advocates for a compassionate and curious approach to understanding these complex dynamics, viewing them as opportunities for personal and relational transformation.

https://staciespiler.com

Are “twin flames” really divine soulmates… or just trauma bonds disguised as love?In this video, I unpack the truth behind the intense highs and lows, obsession, and pull-push dynamics that the twin flame narrative romanticises. Using psychology, attachment theory, and real-life experience, we break down why this concept can keep you stuck, chasing, and self-blaming — and how to reclaim your energy and clarity. I’m Stacie — a Psychotherapist, Mindset Coach, and Manifesting Generator — and I guide you to turn trauma loops into aligned, empowered living. You’ll learn: Why “fated intensity” is often a trauma bond, not destinyHow your nervous system gets hijacked by chaos disguised as loveThe mirror effect and why it’s not mystical — it’s psychologicalHow to step out of the runner-chaser cycle and reclaim your powerWhat real, grounded love actually looks like✨ If you’re tired of confusing chaos for connection, it’s time to wake up and design love from truth. https://staciespiler.com