Alan's up a hill and we're down a rabbit hole this week as we play Top Tor or No Score and Batman: Returns. Infidelity, germaphobes and Peartree Cartography also come under the spotlight, and we ask: Is Jamie Demetriou wasted? How easy is shepherding? And how often have you just happened upon a choir in a cave?

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Where else would you get Fat Bottomed Girls, train risotto and robot middlemen? We also cover joke repetition, emasculated Alan and 'world firsts' as we hit Alan's midway point (ahem).

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Abandon your principles, strap on a jetpack (sorry, jetsuit) and join us as we discuss fake books, Alan's driving school and a rrrrather posh sports day.

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We're back to cover Alan's latest docuseries, taking in egg obsessions, Holly Willoughby, corporate claims, Rupert the Bear, and dodgy showreels along the way. When you don't subscribe to the pod, we feel like you're not really taking us seriously...

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We enter our mind palaces as we conclude our Big Beacon coverage, debating whether it's Alan's 'Parklife' or his 'Be Here Now'. Also covered: Bread's theme tune, Seldom's patriotism and Clarkson's farm. Plus, Lynn gets the full name treatment, we play 'Sequels in Sequence' and someone we won't name gets a Paddy Mc-kicking.

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Listen, Love! We deep dive on Seldom and Jennie this week, while also giving Happy Ferguson a nibble. Plus: Oasthouse origins, Avatar unravelled, and we play a quiz you can't (every which way but) lose.

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Jennie-bashing and speculation on Coogan's PR policy loom large this week. Speaking from personal experience, we also cover scuppered book deals, the faff involved in entering Broadcasting House, and our own 'faecal Dresden'. And that's before we lose it over A Turkey's Journey. And then Greg Dyke's texts. And then Alan's DIY skills. Could listening make this the Greatest Day of your life?

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Sh*thousery meets lighthousery this week as we talk passive aggressive emails, Weinstein's eggs, and do deep dives on scampi fries. We ask 'How well has Partridge aged?' and 'Is Alan's "cancer' the worst thing he's ever done?'. We hope the episode makes you weak at the knees (and not leak at the wees).

To help support the show you can leave us a 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, tell a friend about us, share an episode, or buy us a small Baileys over at ko-fi.com/monkeytennis

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