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If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes

Di: If You're Driving Close Your Eyes
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Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes 2022
Scienze sociali
  • How to Mute Your Microwave
    Oct 12 2026

    With merritt aboard the International Space Station, Niki and John set about their most challenging task yet: Reducing the average price of new cars sold in the United States of America. Also, why didn't we let Elizabeth Holmes keep going?


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    1 ora e 1 min
  • What Secrets Does Vatican Hold
    Oct 5 2026

    Honorary driver Michael Higham returns to help John and merritt plan the first-ever Drivey Airport Lounge, including such innovations as the Person in Residence, honor system sleep pods, the vacuum bed and others, in addition to broader topics such as Big Head Todd and the Monsters, the #4-ranked Runescape player in the world, and if you can believe it, somehow even more.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    59 min
  • Save Money on Hot
    Sep 28 2026

    merritt bravely weathers her debilitating illness to help John and Niki handle a slew of new problems facing everyday people, including what we're thickening, the Caligulan excess of artificial temperature differences, the Canadian Football League, and much more, including the return of Niki's Picks and Scam Text Theater.


    Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a listener-supported comedy podcast where three noble explorers chip away at the crumbling foundations of reality, five or six simultaneous topics at a time. Hosted by Niki Grayson, merritt k and John Warren, and produced by Jordan Mallory, with music by Jordan and art by Max Schwartz.


    Follow us on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/ifyouredriving.bsky.social


    Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ifyouredriving

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    49 min
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