Episodi

  • Is ‘Fawning’ Sabotaging Your Tech Career? How to Stop People-Pleasing and Reclaim Your Voice

    Is ‘Fawning’ Sabotaging Your Tech Career? How to Stop People-Pleasing and Reclaim Your Voice
    Jan 21 2026
    In this episode, Gena explores the often-overlooked stress response of ‘fawning’: a reflex to people-please and avoid conflict that silently erodes the resilience and clarity of tech professionals. Gena breaks down how this hidden behaviour manifests in code reviews, backlog meetings, and scope creep, leading to burnout and a loss of authentic contribution. KEY TAKEAWAYS Alongside fight, flight, and freeze, ‘fawn’ is a reflex to appease others to avoid conflict. In tech, this often looks like volunteering for every bug fix or softening valid critiques to avoid upsetting colleagues. While fawning might smooth over immediate tension, the long-term cost is your clarity, authenticity, and sustainability. Over time, hiding your true opinion drains your energy and diminishes your expert value. Agile environments that value speed and constant collaboration can inadvertently reward fawning. The pressure to be a ‘team player’ in sprint retrospectives and always-on communication channels can make boundaries feel risky. Before automatically saying ‘yes’ to a request, take a moment to ask yourself: Do I have the capacity? Does this align with my goals? Am I saying yes just to manage someone else's reaction? You don't need a massive confrontation to stop fawning. Small actions, like deferring a reply until you’ve checked your workload or clarifying your ‘no’ with context, can help you regain your voice without burning bridges. BEST MOMENTS "Fawning is not just a personality quirk; it's a signal. A red flag for people in high-stakes, high-visibility roles like many of us in tech." "Maybe you soften your critique in code reviews because you don't want a colleague to feel bad, or you take on side projects because you hope it will earn you trust, or just to avoid being seen as difficult." "When you align your yeses with your values and your capacity, and when you allow your 'no s' to keep your system clear, you are not just more authentic, you are more effective." "You’d rather cover than confront. Hiding the stress. You feel anxious about how you'll be seen if you set a boundary, so you keep silent." "For us in tech, that might mean refusing to build a feature you don't believe is ethical, or lobbying for time to improve the infrastructure instead of being the hero who constantly patches emergencies." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    9 min
  • The Real Secret to Achieving Your New Year's Resolutions: Aligning with Your Nervous System

    The Real Secret to Achieving Your New Year's Resolutions: Aligning with Your Nervous System
    Jan 12 2026
    In this episode, Gena delves into the reasons why New Year's resolutions often fail, particularly for IT professionals who are prone to overworking and burnout. She acknowledges that the root of these challenges lies not in a lack of discipline, but in the nervous system and subconscious patterns that drive behaviour. Gena advocates for a shift in approach, suggesting that sustainable change comes from understanding and regulating one's system rather than merely setting goals. KEY TAKEAWAYS Most New Year's resolutions fail not due to a lack of discipline, but because they are based on mindset-only solutions that overlook the underlying nervous system and subconscious drivers of behaviour. IT professionals are particularly vulnerable to resolution failures due to their training in logical problem-solving and high-pressure environments, which condition their nervous systems to prioritise urgency and over-functioning. Lasting change begins with understanding and regulating one's nervous system rather than simply setting goals. It's essential to listen to what the body needs to feel safe enough to change. Instead of ambitious resolutions, implementing small, manageable changes that the body can agree with is more effective. This approach aligns with the principle of not deploying untested code into production. Working with subconscious patterns through coaching and hypnotherapy can help rewire automatic stress responses and create accountability, making change feel natural rather than forced. BEST MOMENTS "Most New Year's resolutions don't fail because you lack discipline. They fail because they are built on the wrong operating system." "Small repetitive changes that your body agrees with will always outperform ambitious resolutions your system resists." "Instead of battling yourself every January, change becomes something your system supports, not something it fights." "Most habits are subconscious... insight alone doesn't change behaviour." "If you're feeling frustrated that past resolutions didn't stick, you weren't weak. You were working with the wrong layer of the system." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ Calendly.com/gena-frangina https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    11 min
  • Mastering the Art of Reframing in Challenging Situations

    Mastering the Art of Reframing in Challenging Situations
    Dec 2 2025
    In this episode, Gena delves into the powerful tool of reframing, a technique that allows individuals to view challenging situations from a healthier perspective. She illustrates how reframing can transform frustration into opportunity by sharing relatable scenarios from the tech world, such as dealing with difficult colleagues or stressful deadlines. Gena also introduces a practical hypnotherapy technique called the 'dissociation screen', guiding listeners through a visualisation exercise to help them step back from their immediate reactions and gain clarity. KEY TAKEAWAYS Reframing is the ability to view a situation from a different, healthier perspective, which can lead to new solutions and reduced stress. To enhance reframing skills, practice perspective-taking in low-stakes situations, such as watching TV shows or gaming streams, by considering how different characters perceive the same situation. The "dissociation screen technique" involves visualising a challenging work situation on a movie screen, allowing for observation rather than impulsive reaction. This helps create mental space for reframing. While external factors like deadlines and team dynamics are often uncontrollable, individuals can control the meaning they assign to these events, transforming challenges into opportunities for growth. Regularly practicing reframing can support long-term well-being, improve teamwork, and enhance clarity in thinking under pressure, ultimately leading to a more positive work environment. BEST MOMENTS "Reframing asks, what other lens can I look through? Imagine a wise, experienced mentor observing the situation." "By observing first, you create the mental space to reframe instead of react impulsively." "A frustrating code review could be a waste of time or an opportunity to strengthen collaboration skills." "Reframing doesn't remove a challenge. It changes how your brain and body respond, supporting long-term well-being." "Every time you practice, you're training your brain to respond with clarity and calm instead of stress and irritation." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    8 min
  • Silencing Your Inner Critic: A Fun Technique to Combat Negative Self-Talk

    Silencing Your Inner Critic: A Fun Technique to Combat Negative Self-Talk
    Nov 26 2025
    In this episode, Gina delves into the impact of emotional investment in one's job and how it can lead to stress and burnout. Gina emphasises that it's not just the physical demands of work that contribute to exhaustion, but also the mental and emotional responses to stressors. Gina discusses the importance of disconnecting from work after hours and suggests various routines, such as meditation and physical activities, to help manage stress. KEY TAKEAWAYS Emotional Investment and Burnout: Being emotionally invested in your job can increase the likelihood of stress and burnout, especially in professions that require empathy, such as healthcare and IT. Cognitive Load: The mental burden of unresolved tasks can lead to exhaustion. It's important to disconnect from work mentally after hours to avoid carrying work-related stress into personal time. Establishing a Routine: Creating a routine to transition from work to personal time can help manage stress. Activities like meditation, physical exercise, or yoga can aid in focusing on the present and reducing stress levels. Managing Inner Critic: A technique to silence negative self-talk involves transforming the critical voice in your head into a funny cartoon character's voice, making it easier to dismiss those negative thoughts. Seeking Support: Professional help, such as coaching or hypnotherapy, can be beneficial for managing stress, avoiding burnout, and developing healthier habits. BEST MOMENTS "Your stress reaction is what is actually causing you trouble." "If you are more emotionally invested in a job, this will increase your chances of burnout." "Living your job in the office after you leave is good advice, but not everyone can do that." "Whatever the issue is, if you can't take immediate action to resolve it, there is no point to keep keeping it in your mind." "Imagine this voice sounds like the voice of a cartoon character... until you can no longer hear it." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    13 min
  • Strategies for Energy, Vitality, and Sustainable Wellness

    Strategies for Energy, Vitality, and Sustainable Wellness
    Nov 20 2025
    In this episode, Gena interviews Valerie Huang Beck, a board-certified Ayurvedic practitioner and Vitality and Vision mentor. Valerie shares her transformative journey from experiencing burnout to discovering the holistic practices of Ayurveda, which helped her regain balance and vitality. They discuss the pressures faced by IT professionals, particularly the misconception that success requires sacrificing health and happiness. Valerie emphasises the importance of foundational health, energy, and alignment in achieving a thriving life. KEY TAKEAWAYS Ayurveda, a 5000-year-old system of holistic medicine, offers a framework for individuals to understand their health and well-being, helping them recover from burnout and achieve balance. Success should include health and happiness as integral components, rather than viewing them as sacrifices for career achievements. This shift in mindset can help individuals prioritise their well-being alongside their professional goals. To avoid burnout, it's crucial to include oneself in the equation of care. Individuals often neglect their own needs while trying to support others, leading to an imbalance that can result in stress and fatigue. Key daily routines for maintaining balance include mindful eating, ensuring adequate sleep, and creating a supportive environment. These foundational practices are essential for sustaining energy and health in demanding jobs. Building a supportive community or accountability group can help individuals stay committed to their wellness journey. Engaging with others who share similar goals fosters motivation and provides a sense of belonging, making it easier to implement lasting changes. BEST MOMENTS "When we ignore those symptoms and those signs, we override our nervous system science." "We think that we have to achieve big things and be the best and make the most money." "If you don't see yourself as worthy of care, it's going to be very hard for you to get out of burnout." "We conflate success with survival." "The first step is always to create space and time." GUEST LINKS Website: https://www.thevibrantvisionary.com Socials:IG - @vibrantvisionary.val YT - https://www.youtube.com/@the-vibrant-visionary E-mail: valerie@intrepidwellness.life HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    44 min
  • Gena's Practical Techniques for Stress Relief and Well-Being - Revisited

    Gena's Practical Techniques for Stress Relief and Well-Being - Revisited
    Nov 10 2025
    As we revisit this very first episode of IT Stress Relief, your host, Gena Frangina, delves into the pervasive issue of stress in the tech industry. As an IT professional and business psychologist, she highlights alarming statistics that reveal the extent of stress, anxiety, and burnout among IT workers, emphasising the importance of effective stress management. Gena shares practical strategies for achieving a sustainable work-life balance, including setting boundaries, managing time effectively, and practising stress relief techniques like mindfulness and exercise. KEY TAKEAWAYS Stress, depression, and anxiety accounted for 51% of all work-related ill health cases in the UK in 2019-2020, highlighting the significant toll stress takes on IT professionals. Establishing strict work hours and turning off notifications outside of work time is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance and preventing burnout. Utilising productivity methods like the Pomodoro technique, time blocking, and the Eisenhower matrix can help prioritise tasks and reduce cognitive overload. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, regular exercise, and maintaining good sleep hygiene are essential for managing stress and improving overall well-being. It's important to talk about mental health and seek support when feeling overwhelmed. Embracing struggles and finding resources can lead to better coping strategies and improved mental health. BEST MOMENTS "In the fast-paced, high-pressure world of IT, stress isn't just a side effect. It's often built into the job." "Stress increases the risk of heart disease, anxiety, and even depression. Your work performance drops and opportunities for career growth shrink." "Saying no to someone or something means that you're actually saying yes to yourself." "If you're constantly tired or overwhelmed, it's time to make a change." "You should embrace your struggles. You should find support." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. ⁠https://genafrangina.com/podcast/⁠ ⁠https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina⁠ IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    18 min
  • A Mother's Quest for Health and Balance in a High-Pressure IT Career with Lara Barnes

    A Mother's Quest for Health and Balance in a High-Pressure IT Career with Lara Barnes
    Oct 28 2025
    Today, Gena interviews Lara Barnes, a Chief Customer Officer with nearly three decades of experience in the technology sector. Lara shares her inspiring career journey, highlighting her passion for customer success and team leadership. The duo discuss the biggest challenges of balancing a high-pressure IT role with parenting, particularly in the context of raising a child with learning and behavioural issues. KEY TAKEAWAYS Managing a high-pressure leadership role while raising a child can be incredibly challenging. It requires effective time management, consistency, and the ability to juggle professional responsibilities with parenting duties. Early childhood development is crucial, and parents should be aware of key milestones such as crawling and speech. Delays in these areas may indicate underlying issues that need to be addressed, such as retained reflexes that can affect learning and behaviour. Having a supportive network, whether through family, friends, or professionals, is essential for managing stress and ensuring that both work and parenting responsibilities are handled effectively. Taking time for oneself, even if it's just a short period each day, is vital for maintaining mental and physical health. Engaging in physical activity can help alleviate stress and improve overall well-being. A healthy diet plays a significant role in emotional and physical health. Gut inflammation can impact mood and stress levels, highlighting the importance of nutrition in both personal well-being and child development. BEST MOMENTS "I want to ensure that not only internally I'm having impact on how that is done, but then externally what the customer is seeing from us in our servicing." "You need to have a plan. You need to have the right people around you that can help." "If you look back at my academic GCSE science, I got double D, so I wasn't a science type person." "A child doesn't... they're not vindictive. They're little people. They're misunderstood because they still have these reflexes which should have gone within, they should have integrated." "The amount of negotiation and promises that I made in order to get those exercises done was really tough because I was tired." GUEST LINKS www.braindevelopment.co.uk Lara@braindevelopment.co.uk https://www.youtube.com/@BrainDevelopmentUK HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    1 ora e 11 min
  • Shaman Dawn's Guide to Reconnecting with Self and Community

    Shaman Dawn's Guide to Reconnecting with Self and Community
    Oct 21 2025
    Gena sits down with Shaman Dawn, a certified hypnotherapist and traditional teacher from South Africa, to discuss the intersection of indigenous wisdom and modern psychology. Dawn shares her unique journey into shamanism, emphasising the importance of reconnecting with oneself, others, and nature in a fast-paced, technology-driven world. KEY TAKEAWAYS Emphasising the importance of reconnecting with oneself and others, recognising that disconnection can lead to feelings of isolation and stress. Healing often occurs in relationships and community settings. Incorporating simple daily practices, such as being present in the moment, can help manage stress and improve overall well-being. Focusing on one or two tasks at a time can reduce feelings of overwhelm. Acknowledging that it's normal to experience a range of emotions, including sadness and anxiety. These feelings are part of the human experience and should not be avoided but rather understood and processed. Highlighting the significance of maintaining physical health through proper nutrition, hydration, and rest. A healthy body contributes to better emotional and mental states, which are crucial for overall well-being. Adopting the seven sacred laws from the Anishinaabe Egepe tribe - wisdom, love, respect, bravery, honesty, humility, and truth - can guide individuals in living a happy and healthy life while honouring both themselves and others. BEST MOMENTS "Being a shaman is a calling. It's an innate gift that is given to a person, probably chosen by the soul before this lifetime." "Every single person on earth has this innate gifts and channels that I have. The difference is, it is my job to do that specific work." "People think that if they don't do something or have something, they are lesser or they're missing something compared to their peers." "Healing happens exponentially when we heal together. All shaman traditions and teachings will tell you that we are all one." "The moment we start becoming too all over the place, then our energy is a little bit more scattered. That's where we start feeling disconnected." HOST BIO Gena Frangina, a seasoned software engineer with over a decade of industry experience, is your trusted host on the "IT Stress Relief" Podcast. Her unique background includes a profound passion for psychology, culminating in the attainment of a Business Psychology MSc. Gena's diverse skill set extends to accreditation as a Hypnotherapist, under the tutelage of Paul McKenna and his renowned team, as well as expertise in wellness coaching. This extensive blend of technical acumen and psychological insight positions Gena as an exceptional host in the IT world. She not only understands the intricacies of the field but also excels in guiding IT professionals towards holistic well-being. Tune in to Gena's podcast for enlightening interviews with IT specialists, and gain access to a wealth of knowledge. https://genafrangina.com/podcast/ https://www.facebook.com/gena.frangina IG: @gena.frangina This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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    1 ora e 34 min