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Preverbal trauma can be hard to name because it often isn’t stored as a clear story. In this episode, we explore how early experiences, which occur before language development, can shape the nervous system through implicit memory and felt sense. You’ll learn why people can say “nothing happened” and still carry intense body reactions, relationship patterns, or shame responses that feel bigger than the moment. Using simple polyvagal-informed language, we’ll look at how early safety is wired through connection, and what helps when the body remembers what the mind cannot. The episode ends with a varied, trauma-neutral grounding practice using senses and gentle movement.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What preverbal trauma is (and what it isn’t)
• How early experiences are stored as implicit memory and felt sense rather than narrative
• Why reactions can feel “irrational” when the origin happened before words
• A simple polyvagal lens on early wiring: safety & connection vs mobilised protection vs shutdown
• Common adult patterns linked to early nervous system adaptation (non-diagnostic)
• Practical, gentle starting points: micro-doses of safety, co-regulation, body-first tools, repair over perfection
• A varied grounding practice designed to be supportive for preverbal material

Grounding practice (2–3 minutes): “Senses + Support”

• Notice one point of contact (feet, back, hands)
• Name two sounds
• Rest your eyes on one neutral colour
• Gentle shoulder roll or press feet into the floor
• A soft phrase: “In this moment, I’m here” (or “safe enough” if it fits)

Check the website for free resources available to both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.

What’s next? The Wound in the Bond: Attachment & Relational Trauma

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Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

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“Small t” and “big T” are common trauma terms meant to validate, but they can also trigger comparison, minimisation, or shame. In this episode, you’ll learn what these labels usually mean, why they sometimes backfire, and how to replace ranking with a more compassionate, nervous-system-based framework. You’ll also get a simple reframe list (cumulative, relational, chronic vs single-incident, acute) and a short grounding practice to help your system step out of comparison and back into the present.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• What people typically mean by big T and small t trauma
• Why the “missing middle” matters (quiet, chronic, relational stress that still shapes the nervous system)
• How comparison keeps people stuck: “It wasn’t bad enough” vs “I’m permanently damaged”
• A clearer alternative to ranking: impact + support + recovery
• Polyvagal-informed understanding of why the nervous system doesn’t rank events “on paper”
• A short, safe-for-most grounding practice focused on validation and present-moment safety

Gentle reminders

• Trauma isn’t a competition, and you don’t need to justify your pain to deserve support.
• If you feel activated or numb while listening, that’s a nervous system response; pause anytime.

Check the website for free resources available to both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.

What’s next

Next episode: Before Words: Understanding Preverbal Trauma
We’ll explore how the body can carry trauma from experiences that happened before you had language and how to work with it gently.

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Send us a text

Trauma isn’t only about what happened—it’s about what happened inside your nervous system when an experience was too much, too fast, too soon, or too long, without enough support, choice, or protection. In this episode, we clarify what trauma is (and isn’t), using simple, polyvagal-informed language—so you can replace shame and confusion with understanding. You’ll also be guided through a short grounding practice you can use anytime.

In this episode, you’ll learn

• A clear, compassionate definition of trauma that goes beyond the “one big event” narrative
• Why two people can experience similar events and be impacted differently
• The difference between stress and trauma (and why that matters)
• Why trauma responses are adaptations, not character flaws
• How trauma can be remembered as sensations, triggers, and patterns—not just a story
• A simple polyvagal lens: safety & connection, mobilised protection (fight/flight), and shutdown protection
• A short, trauma-neutral grounding practice to support regulation

Gentle reminders

• Trauma is not a competition. You don’t need to justify your pain.
• If your body reacts while listening—tightness, racing thoughts, numbness—this is information, not failure.
• You’re invited to pause, skip ahead, or return later. Your pace matters.

Check the website for the free resources offered for both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.

Coming next: Small t, Big T—and the Missing Middle
We’ll explore why these terms can be helpful, where they can become misleading, and how to use them without comparison or shame.

Share this episode with someone who…

• Minimises their experience (“It wasn’t that bad…”)
• Feels confused by their reactions (“Why am I like this?”)
• Supports others and wants a clearer, kinder framework for understanding trauma

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Send us a text

Welcome to the first episode of my new series “The Many Faces of Trauma.” In this opening episode, I share why I’m creating this series and how I’ll guide you through different trauma types in a way that’s clear, gentle, and not overwhelming. I introduce the “trauma map” I’ll be using across two seasons, explain what I mean by “trauma types” (as pathways, not labels), and offer a simple, polyvagal-informed way to understand what your nervous system may be doing.

In this episode, I cover

• Why I’m creating a trauma-types series—and how naming can reduce shame
• What I mean by “trauma type” (a pathway, not a box you live in)
• This series is structured across two seasons, so you can go at your own pace
• The five big pathways:
  1. Foundations
  2. Early imprint trauma
  3. Event-based trauma
  4. Society-shaped & environment-based trauma
  5. What trauma can become (including how trauma can affect the body)
• My simple, plain-language polyvagal map of nervous system states:
  • Safety & connection - ventral
  • Mobilised protection (fight/flight) - sympathetic
  • Shutdown protection (numb/freeze/collapse) - dorsal
• How to listen in a way that supports your system

Gentle content note

In this episode, I talk about trauma in general terms with no graphic detail. You’re always welcome to pause, step away, or come back later.

Grounding practice

I guide you through a brief practice that’s safe for most people, including:

• Orienting (noticing a few neutral objects around you)
• Longer-exhale breathing
• Contact + choice (feeling support in your body and naming one small next step)

How I recommend you use this series

• You don’t have to listen in order; start where you feel steady or curious
• You may relate to more than one episode (that’s common)
• This series is not a diagnosis tool; it’s a map for understanding and support

I invite you to check my website for the free resources offered for both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.

Coming next: When the Body

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Send us a text

Welcome again to the How to Deal With Grief and Trauma Podcast Season 16.

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast: bit.ly/SupportGTPodcast. Thank you!

For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website, join the podcast’s Instagram page, and subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

Today is Monday, 19th January and for me a significant day: It is the 14th death-iversary of my Mother. With this in mind, I'm taking a moment to honour her and the body of work I've created with this podcast - even though I'm not one to applaud my own accomplishments easily.

For the coming season 16 and 17, I'm planing a whole set of episodes on the topic of trauma, starting with last week's episode on cultural grief following a traumatic event.

Before we begin, a gentle content note: we’ll be talking about trauma in general terms. There will be no graphic details. You don’t have to push through any of the episodes. If you notice your body tightening, your breath changing, or your mind drifting away, that’s not failure—that’s your nervous system doing its job. You’re allowed to pause, come back later, or choose a different episode.

The intent is to educate, to inform and to support - both those affected and those supporting those who are.

With that in mind, have a gentle day.

Let you nervous system guide you.

With Love, Nathalie

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Send us a text

In this episode, Nathalie explores the emotional, psychological, and communal impact of the tragic event that took place on January 1st at Le Constellation in Crans-Montana.
Together, we examine what happens in the immediate aftermath of sudden disasters, how individuals and communities—both local and global—are affected, and why events like these evoke such strong collective responses.

Topics include:

• Immediate physiological and emotional reactions after a tragic event
• How local and wider communities experience shock, disbelief, and shared grief
• Common grief and trauma responses following sudden, collective loss
• The effects of prolonged uncertainty, media presence, and legal processes
• Why global attention intensifies around sudden tragedies, even amidst ongoing crises
• What those affected can expect in the weeks and months ahead
• How to support yourself and others through trauma and community-wide grief

For resources, support, and further guidance, visit:
Support Page: https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grief-trauma-support/

To explore more conversations on grief, trauma, and healing, browse the full episode catalogue:
Podcast Archive: https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/episode-overview-latest-episode-first/

Thank you for listening and for taking gentle care of yourself and your community.

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Send us a text

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast: bit.ly/SupportGTPodcast. Thank you!

For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website, join the podcast’s Instagram page, and subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

Today’s guest is Shavaun Scott, a psychotherapist and author who shares a deeply personal and courageous story with us in our conversation. In her memoir Nightbird, Shavaun explores the devastating experience of her husband’s revenge suicide, an act he carried out on the very day she told him she wanted a divorce. After 17 years in an abusive relationship, Shavaun was left not only with the trauma of a gruesome scene staged in her own home, but also with the complex emotional aftermath, grief not just for the loss of life, but for the relationship that never truly was. As a therapist herself, Shavaun offers a profound and nuanced perspective on the psychological toll of intimate partner abuse, the moral injuries of suicide, and the long road of healing. This is a powerful and honest conversation about trauma, survival, and the complicated nature of grief.

Shavaun has been a psychotherapist for nearly 35 years in Oregon and California in the US. Shavaun shares her passion for mental health and wellness through writing, speaking, and podcasting; she is the author of four books. While she has worked extensively with grief and trauma, she has also experienced it in multiple ways throughout her life. She lost her mother when she was 16, her father when she was 35, and her previous husband of 17 years died by suicide in 2004. Shavaun now lives and works from her home in the forest in Portland, Oregon, which she shares with her husband and a houseful of beloved animals.

• www.shavaunscott.com
• www.instagram.com/shavaunscott/

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

Send us a text

HOW TO DEAL WITH GRIEF AND TRAUMA is completely self-funded, produced, and edited by me, Nathalie Himmelrich.
Consider making a small donation to support the Podcast: bit.ly/SupportGTPodcast. Thank you!

For more information, please visit Nathalie’s website, join the podcast’s Instagram page, and subscribe to the newsletter to receive updates on future episodes here.

Today’s guest is someone many of you will remember from episode 87. She’s here today to talk about her latest book, The Joy Reset, a groundbreaking and deeply compassionate guide that takes the powerful tools of positive psychology and adapts them for those of us who have lived through trauma. Joy, she reminds us, isn’t about toxic positivity or forced gratitude. It’s about finding light in the dark, one gritty, bite-sized moment at a time.

In this book, she explores why joy can feel so elusive after trauma—and how we can gently reclaim it. Through neurobiological insights, real-life examples, and actionable practices, MC gives us a new framework to understand hope, gratitude, and resilience—not as fluffy ideals, but as essential, hard-won emotional tools for healing.

Mary Catherine (MC) McDonald, PhD, is a research professor and life coach who specializes in the psychology of trauma, stress, and resilience. She has been researching, lecturing, and publishing on the neuroscience, psychology, and lived experience of trauma and stress for over a decade. She is passionate about destigmatizing trauma, stress, and mental health issues in general, as well as reframing our understanding of trauma in order to better understand and treat it.

• Website: alchemycoaching.life
• IG: @mc.phd
• TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@mc.phd

Support the show

💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it.

🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review.

Stay Connected

• 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com
• 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates
• 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast!
• 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook

Find Support Resources

• 💜 For Grievers – Resources
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/
• 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/
• 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/
• 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid
  https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/