In this episode of Generation Artax, we revisit…the mall in the 90s. We cover making out in public and private with boys who weren't that hot after all. The school dance juggernaut that was Stairway To Heaven. And Lori pulls a Brenda from 90210 and leaves her boyfriend in the care of her best friend who's a model in the great boyfriend swap of '93. Welcome to generation artax.

• The sheer analog joy of going to the mall in the 90s
• Lori discovers The Color Purple
• Terri asks her friend's brother to the dance and everyone is scandalized
• Lori has a nickname for her future self
• Avoiding the Stairway to Heaven juggernaut at the school dance
• Terri's first kiss at a teen night club
• Kim has no shame and makes out on stage
• Terri gives a TED talk in 1988 about sex and the media before TED was a thing
• Kim and Lori get judgy about Terri's school dance hookup
• Lori gets to second base
• Terri pees herself while Lori tells her second base story
• Lori pulls a Brenda from 90210 and leaves her boyfriend in the care of her best friend.

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In this episode of Generation Artax, you're going to learn a few things about Kim: She played guitar in a church band, will not eat in a restaurant alone, and one time, got two hot sophomores to come over to watch Flowers in the Attic. Plus: We revisit the lyrics to Family Ties, the time Brady Bunch went to Hawaii, and the social mecca that was the high school dance. Enjoy. Welcome to Generation Artax.

• Family Ties theme song lyrics aren't wrong, but also so wrong

• Does anyone remember the show Dream On? Lori does

• Facts of Life goes to Australia and Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii

• Kim's predictable life Market Basket >> Starbucks >> Bank; in bed at 7

• The social mecca that was the high school dance

• How not knowing what would happen or where anyone was was the great adventure of childhood

• Kim's life is one big cozy sweatshirt

• Kim serves old people food

• Low bars for good-looking boys: Two hot sophomores come to visit

• Kim is metaphor impaired

• Church jams and why mass singalongs are weird

• No one knows or believes that Kim plays guitar in a band

• The hot goss at 10am mass: The place to see and be seen

• Fasting before mass: Whyyyyy

• Does something taste different when it's blessed? Turns out no

• Unrelated: The hardest you ever laughed in public

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In this episode of Generation Artax, we cover it all: backpacking across Europe pre-iPhone, intense sneezing, and the day Jesus flew off a crucifix and hit Lori in the face. Plus: yacht rock, catholic school, depression, anxiety, personal poltergeists, crimes we've committed, and why you shouldn't miss your medication five days in a row. And: Dad butt dials us live on the air.

A lot happens in this episode:

• Kim remembers backpacking across Europe with nothing but a guide book.

• Who's in therapy, who's not, and why not.

• 7th grade Kim waxes nostalgic, reflects on her life and loves.

• Terri sneezes so hard it's concerning.

• Dad butt dials us on the air.

• Kim claims she loved yacht rock before it had a name.

• Jesus flies off the cross and hits Lori in the face.

• 8th grade Terri feels sorry for herself because she has zero game.

• Grown-up Terri didn't get her prescription refilled in time and suffers the consequences

Special shout out to Kimmy Vandrilla @kimovershares

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Lori was having a hard day in May 1993: Kim got rejected from the Peer Leadership program and Mom was yelling about the government—leaving Lori with no one to talk about her problems including her bad rep, small boobs, and the fact that she was going to miss critical episodes of 90210, Melrose, and the last Wonder Years. Plus: Kim and Lori are left to fend for themselves overnight in the hospital, Cabbage Patch Kids, Golden Girls, VHS life, and why everyone needs a colonoscopy. Unrelated: Which TV family would you live with?

• Pepto Bismol, colonoscopies, hernias, and more.

• Terri thinks because her dad works at the hospital he owns it.

• Lori and Kim both get hernias and Terri is sure they'll get one.

• Cabbage Patch Kids, the Velveteen Rabbit, and Charlotte's Web.

• Lori has no one to talk about her first-world problems with in 1992.

• How Terri got to meet Rue McClanahan in real life.

• Which TV family we'd live with tomorrow.

• Terri's first celeb crush.

• Why Jodi Foster and Conan O'Brien are perfect humans.

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Merry Cringemas everybody! And to live up to that name, we've got a show teeming with awkward first kisses, OfficeMax Santa gifts, and a poem Terri wrote to her boyfriend in 1993. Plus: 90s gifts that wouldn't exist today (hi, answering machines!) and our (least) favorite Christmas movie. We wish you a safe and happy holiday season, and thank you for your support of Generation Artax! More at generationartax.com.

In this episode:

• Kim credits Christmas for her executive functioning skills

• Why we loved getting office supplies from Santa

• The gift that changed our actual lives

• #answeringmachinelife

• Terri's first branding project happened while playing "hotel," which isn't as creepy as it sounds

• Lori's play-by-play of her first kiss, which reads like a screenplay of teenage seduction chicken, and makes us all feel creepy and Lori is mortified

• 20-yr-old Terri gets a watch from her boyfriend

• Kim defends It's a Wonderful Life,

• Why Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas is the best of all time

• Why Polar Express is uncanny valley creepy AF and also just sad

• Kim introduces a new term–holiday edging–and grosses us all out

• The truth about Santa and how Lori ruined Christmas for the kids at school

Got a story to tell? Join Terri in the Studio to write like you never have before. Try it free! territrespicio.com/writewithme

Visit our website: www.generationartax.com and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.

In March of 1988, when Kim was in the sixth grade, she watched as the boys goaded her friend Amy to walk out over the surface of an icy pond — at which point the ice started to crack, and then broke beneath her. And everyone…laughed. Hysterically. It was a very shallow pond, and no one was hurt. But the peer pressure of it all haunts Kim to this day. Also in this ep: an homage to Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman, who was done dirty. K-Pop. Jury Duty. Cat fishing. Plus: Terri doesn't waste lipstick, and Kim slut shames Terri. Welcome to Generation Artax.

In this episode of Generation Artax:

• Pee Wee Herman was done dirty and we should all be ashamed

• Kim is haunted by a peer pressure moment in sixth grade

• K-Pop Demon Hunters and battling shame-based boy bands

• Terri really wants to do jury duty and is denied

• Terri wants more action on family vacation

• Terri loves dating, never wastes lip gloss, and gets catfished

• 10-yo Kim has a long-term relationship, loves everything, and thinks she could cry more tears than there are stars in the sky

• Grown-up Kim slut shames Terri

• Unrelated: How much money is enough, and why Kim wants more than all of us, though she has no idea what to do with it

Visit our website: www.generationartax.com and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.

In this episode of Generation Artax, we take a trip back to the early 90s when Terri left for college and Kim was inconsolable. And Lori went off to college and became a huge star. Also: REM sleep, room temps, and a bad case of lice. Buckle up and enjoy.

Visit our website: www.generationartax.com and join our mailing list for the latest information on the podcast.

In this episode of Generation Artax, 13 yo Lori hopes her future self isn't a huge slut, and then doubles down on catholicism. Kim fails to make the basketball team. We all take Tae Kwon Do. Plus: movies that make us cry and one 80s movie we should not have been watching. Strap in and let's begin.

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