In this episode of Generation Artax, you're going to learn a few things about Kim: She played guitar in a church band, will not eat in a restaurant alone, and one time, got two hot sophomores to come over to watch Flowers in the Attic. Plus: We revisit the lyrics to Family Ties, the time Brady Bunch went to Hawaii, and the social mecca that was the high school dance. Enjoy. Welcome to Generation Artax.

• Family Ties theme song lyrics aren't wrong, but also so wrong

• Does anyone remember the show Dream On? Lori does

• Facts of Life goes to Australia and Brady Bunch goes to Hawaii

• Kim's predictable life Market Basket >> Starbucks >> Bank; in bed at 7

• The social mecca that was the high school dance

• How not knowing what would happen or where anyone was was the great adventure of childhood

• Kim's life is one big cozy sweatshirt

• Kim serves old people food

• Low bars for good-looking boys: Two hot sophomores come to visit

• Kim is metaphor impaired

• Church jams and why mass singalongs are weird

• No one knows or believes that Kim plays guitar in a band

• The hot goss at 10am mass: The place to see and be seen

• Fasting before mass: Whyyyyy

• Does something taste different when it's blessed? Turns out no

• Unrelated: The hardest you ever laughed in public

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