Val was diagnosed with hydrocephalus before she was born, and the doctors gave her mom a number and a recommendation. She's 27 now, married, teaching special education, finishing her master's, and living with hardware in her head and her back that has to be replaced when it fails. We talked about what it costs to build a completely ordinary life inside a body that keeps interrupting it, and how much of that life you have to go out and take.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

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🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

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🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today’s episode is a little different because Becky is away on her podcast tour, so Alex is flying solo and answering your money questions.

From $18,000 in credit card debt and feeling overwhelmed, to figuring out how to prioritize an emergency fund, Roth IRA, HSA, student loans, and future goals, Alex talks through the real-life financial decisions that can feel complicated when you’re trying to do everything at once.

She also breaks down snowball vs. avalanche debt payoff, what to consider when your student loans are in deferment, and whether apps like Acorns and Fetch are actually helping you—or just making it easier to spend.

Plus, a rapid-fire round covering mortgages, investing, checking your investments, combining finances with a partner, and one of the biggest financial mistakes people make in their 30s: waiting.

But underneath all of these questions is something bigger.

Fear of making the wrong decision.

Fear of falling behind.

Fear of not knowing enough.

You don't need to have everything figured out to start feeling more confident with money.

Sometimes you just need to make the next right decision.

Money is emotional—and you deserve to feel safe with it. 💚

Send us your money questions for a future episode!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: opioid addiction, drug poisoning and overdose, suicide loss, incarceration, newborn withdrawal, loss of custody.

Lauren was 16 when a doctor handed her a prescription for straight oxycodone for a cheerleading injury. No warning, no follow up, just take this for the pain. What happened in the eleven years between that waiting room and the house with the backyard she lives in now is the whole conversation. She talks about the parts that don't make her look good, on purpose, because she thinks somebody out there needs to hear them.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Sunday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: pregnancy loss, infant loss, medical trauma and dismissal, hysterectomy, immigration enforcement and community fear.

Yari became a mom at 19 and spent the next decade being told her pain was normal, her odds were good, and the procedure would hold. It didn't. In this conversation she walks through three losses, the surgery she had to fight her own doctor to get at 28, and what she's doing right now for the elders on her block in Chicago.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

For the longest time I thought investing was a members only club and nobody sent me the invite. People would say things like index fund and expense ratio and diversification, and I would smile and nod like I had any idea what was happening. Spoiler: I did not. This week Alex walks me through the whole thing from the very beginning, and it turns out the scary part was never the math. It was just the vocabulary.

The Solution

Saving vs investing. Saving is parking your car in the garage. Investing is sending your money out to get a full time job. They aren't competing, they're doing two different things.

Stocks vs bonds. Buying stock means owning a tiny piece of a company. Buying a bond means lending money and collecting interest. Owning part of a bakery vs lending the bakery money.

Why Alex loves index funds. Instead of betting on one football player, you buy the whole team. Roughly 90 percent of professional fund managers fail to beat the S&P 500 over a ten year period, which means the pros usually lose to the thing you can just buy yourself.

ETFs vs mutual funds. Both are baskets of investments. Mutual funds price once at the end of the trading day and often have minimums. ETFs trade all day like a stock and are usually easier to start with.

The real cost of an advisor. Alex runs the numbers on $500 a month over 30 years. No advisor and low cost index funds gets you about $1.1 million. Add a 1 percent advisor fee plus 1 percent in actively managed funds and you hand over nearly $400,000. The question isn't does my advisor charge a fee. It's am I getting enough value to justify it.

The investing dictionary. Diversification, compound growth, dividends, expense ratios, and dollar cost averaging, all in plain English.

Plus a listener question from someone who hasn't filed taxes in ten years after a terminal diagnosis they thankfully survived. Alex explains exactly where to start, and it's less scary than you think.

This week's homework

Do one thing. If you don't invest, open an account. If you already invest, log in and look at what you actually own. Can you explain it in one sentence? If you can't, go learn one thing about it. Progress over perfection.

Connect with us

Join the Patreon for episodes early plus Wallet Therapy Live: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Got a question or a money confession? info@forthehaters.com

Track it all in one place with Monarch Money: https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses secondary trauma, child abuse and neglect, substance use and addiction, overdose loss, suicidal ideation, stalking, and a mention of gun violence.

Morgan is a social worker and therapist in the same small town she grew up in. She testifies in court about things clients told her in a room they believed was private, she carries a caseload of names she already knows, and for one stretch of her life the hardest year of her job ran at the exact same time as the hardest year of her marriage. We talk about what it costs to be the only person everyone assumes is fine.

For The Hayters is a podcast that normalizes hard conversations. Listener discretion is advised. If you are struggling, you can call or text 988 in the US to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: This episode discusses opiate addiction, stillbirth, miscarriage, and infant loss.

Katie loved her husband through seven years of active addiction, then lost her daughter Ayla at 40 weeks, on her due date. In this conversation, she walks through recovery, repeated loss, the wedding they planned in the middle of grief, and the three boys who came after, including her youngest son's albinism diagnosis.

Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.

🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!

🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter

🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters

🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com

🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com

🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Everyone is talking about the Trump accounts, and honestly, the information out there is all over the place. One video says every kid gets $1,000. Another says run, don't walk, and open one today. So I called Alex, because I was confused too.

In this episode we break down what these accounts actually are, who qualifies for the free $1,000, how to sign up in about 10 minutes, and how they stack up against a 529, a brokerage account, and everything else we've covered. No politics, just the facts, the math, and what it could mean for your kid's future.

Money is emotional. You deserve to feel safe with it.

Connect with us:

Join the Hayters on Patreon for early access, our Wallet Therapy lives, and direct access to Alex on Discord: patreon.com/beckyhayter

Questions, debates, or money confessions: info@forthehayters.com

Love you, mean it.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.