Well folks, after weeks of speculation, seances, and checking for a pulse… MITCH McCONNELL IS ALIVE! We finally got a good look at him, and fellas… Mitch looks like he just woke up from a 200-year nap and somebody told him Social Security was running out.
This week, Banjo Barnett and the Professor of Shred dive into the latest Mitch McConnell update before heading straight down the rabbit hole of the Dead Internet Theory. Is the internet still full of real people… or are we all just arguing with bots, AI-generated garbage, and somebody’s grandma sharing a fake picture of Jesus made out of shrimp?
Then we bring it back home to Eastern Kentucky, where things have been plenty wild on their own. We talk about the recent ruckus at the Letcher County Central football game — because apparently the final whistle wasn’t the only thing bringing the action to a stop. 🏈😂
And then we tackle the scandal rocking the Black Gold Festival…
🌭 CORNDOG-GATE 2026. 🌭
A simple trip to the concession stand turned into the biggest festival controversy since somebody tried to charge five dollars for a bottle of water. We’ll just say this: that corn dog came with more drama than mustard.
We also get into something a little more serious — are festivals and live music dying? People complain the bands are too loud, crowds aren’t what they used to be, and live entertainment seems to be getting pushed further into the background.
Mitch. Bots. Football fights. Corn dogs. Loud music. Just another normal day on the back porch.

BackPorch Twisters Episode 5 may be our strangest trip down the holler yet.

We kick things off, as tradition demands, with Missing Mitch. The mystery surrounding Mitch McConnell has gotten plum crazy, so Banjo Barnett and the Professor of Shred hold another séance in hopes of finally making contact. Mitch, buddy… if you can hear us, knock twice.

Then we put the foolishness aside for a serious conversation about some downright disturbing subjects—the controversy surrounding AI-generated CSAM, the questions being raised by recent court rulings, and just how evil and dangerous this material is. We also discuss the Lindsay Clancy trial and the heartbreaking reality of the world our children are growing up in.

After that, we desperately attempt to brighten things up…

That was a mistake.

Because somehow we end up talking about a weirdo with John Wayne Gacy’s brain in a jar, a mummy, the infamous Serial Butt Sniffer, and finally a tale involving a man and a vacuum cleaner that gives an entirely new meaning to the phrase attachments sold separately.

By the end, we’ve got missing politicians, séances, mummies, brains in jars, butt sniffers, questionable vacuum usage, and enough weirdness to make you wonder if civilization has officially peaked.

Welcome to BackPorch Twisters, where the mummy might have a pulse, the vacuum cleaner needs therapy, and we STILL ain’t found Mitch.

Pull up a chair and tighten down your tinfoil hat, because the porch is twisted again.

Naturally, we kick things off with our favorite recurring segment: Where’s Brother Mitch?” At this point, we ain’t entirely convinced there’s an illness. Could be sick, could be filming weekend at Bernie's, could be charging overnight in a broom closet somewhere in Washington. Until somebody pokes him with a stick and gets a response, the investigation continues.

Then we head back home to Eastern Kentucky, where the rain just won’t give us a break. The recent flooding has absolutely hammered our area, with Fleming-Neon nearly destroyed again. But around this porch, you know we can’t just blame Mother Nature and move along. Storm after storm, flood after flood… meanwhile there’s talk of development and giant AI data centers. Coincidence? Maybe. But Professor, fetch the thumbtacks and red string—we got us a map to make.

Finally, we bring her back around to music, talking about the chaos of playing multiple gigs in one day, hauling enough equipment around to stock a Guitar Center, and remembering the fast-food joints and forgotten grub from days gone by.

We got Mitch on life support, Neon underwater, AI in the holler, dog crap, guitars, banjos, and discontinued fast food.

In other words… just another day on the BackPorch.