Episodi

  • When Parents Stop Asking for Permission & Start Leading

    When Parents Stop Asking for Permission & Start Leading
    Jan 22 2026
    What if the hardest part of advocating for your child isn’t the system, but unlearning the way you’ve been taught to think about it?

    What if you keep doing the same things because they feel safe, even when they stopped working a long time ago?

    What if the mindset that got you through the early years is now the very thing holding you back?

    In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve sit down with Lynda Allen, career educator, advocate, and TEDx speaker, for a conversation that rewrites what most of us were taught about special education, labels, and empowerment. Lynda honors how exhausting and heartbreaking the day to day can be, while insisting on this truth, there is nothing broken about your child, and nothing defective about you as a parent.

    From that starting point, she invites parents to stop waiting for the system to get fixed and start seeing themselves as decision making partners in every service, support, and opportunity their child receives.

    “Being empowered means becoming a decision making partner in your child’s education and life, not doing it alone, and not giving your power away.” — Lynda Allen This isn’t about fighting harder. It is about thinking differently so you can build the education and the life your child deserves.

    We talk about:

    How labels can cloud the way we see our kids, and how to take that power back

    Why dream first matters, especially when it feels impossible

    Lynda’s four step framework for moving from survival to leadership as an empowered parent

    Building a village so you are not doing this alone, and how empowered parents change systems from the ground up

    If you’re tired of proving your child’s worth and ready to try a different way forward, this episode is for you. Come tired, leave empowered, and before the episode ends, write down your child’s dream role and one bold step you will take as their partner this week.

    Lynda’s book: https://a.co/d/h5h7CeR Learn more and connect: https://makeyourmarkinlife.org/empoweredparentsbee

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    48 min
  • When “Someday” Becomes Now: Life After Mom and Dad

    When “Someday” Becomes Now: Life After Mom and Dad
    Jan 7 2026
    Planning isn’t just paperwork. What happens when families do everything they can, but without guidance, the plan unravels at the exact moment it matters most?

    In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Heather and Steve are joined by Samantha Harrison, founder of Momentum Family Strategies and a disability support strategist who works with families navigating what she calls life after mom and dad.
    Samantha brings a rare, honest perspective from the front lines. She supports siblings and aging parents who suddenly find themselves responsible for everything—services, housing, staffing, paperwork—often at the exact moment they are grieving the loss or decline of a primary caregiver. She explains, “We tell families to plan ahead, but we don’t teach them how to plan for the day they’re not there.”

    Together, they explore why planning too often becomes reactive, why paperwork alone can’t carry a future, and how systems built around crisis leave families scrambling when stability matters most.

    In this conversation, you’ll hear:

    Why families are told they’ve “planned,” but still feel unprepared when the moment comes

    How siblings become caregivers overnight, without training or a roadmap

    Why self-direction is often misunderstood as a shortcut instead of a responsibility

    What truly makes a plan hold when the primary caregiver is gone

    How guidance, education, and vision—not just forms—change outcomes

    “Without guidance, families don’t fail to plan. They’re set up to plan in pieces.”

    Samantha also shares practical insight into letters of intent, future planning, workforce realities, and how families can begin identifying gaps before those gaps turn into crisis.

    “Planning has to start with the why—what kind of life do we want, and why does it matter?”

    This episode is for parents, siblings, advocates, professionals, and policymakers who have ever asked themselves what really happens when support systems are no longer held together by one person’s unpaid labor.

    This isn’t a conversation about fear.
    It’s a conversation about preparation, honesty, and building plans that can stand—even when we’re not there to hold them up.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production in Pittsford, NY. Learn more at https://rocvox.com.

    #FindingCommonGround, #PodcastWithPurpose, #ChangingTheWayAdvocacysDone, #EmpowermentAdvocacy, #UnfilteredConversations, #FocusedOnSolutions, #InviteTheElephantToDinner, #DisabilityAdvocacy, #CaregiverSupport, #LifeAfterMomAndDad, #FuturePlanning, #FamilyCaregivers, #SelfDirection, #DisabilityRights, #CaregiverLife, #PlanningAhead, #CommunityLiving, #EndInstitutionalization, #AgingCaregivers, #SiblingSupport, #InclusionMatters, #SystemsChange

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    40 min
  • School Ends & Gaps Become Painfully Clear

    School Ends & Gaps Become Painfully Clear
    Dec 18 2025
    When school ends, support doesn’t just pause.
    For many families, it vanishes.

    “There are 25 skills students need to make an informed decision about what comes after 12th grade,” says college and career coach Phil Vetrano. “And we’re not teaching them. Not at school. Not at home. Not anywhere.”

    In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Phil joins us to talk about the hidden gaps families run into when the school bus stops coming, especially for kids with disabilities, learning differences, or nontraditional paths.

    “We weren’t taught decision-making models,” Phil explains.“ So we never learned how to teach our kids how to choose.”

    This conversation isn’t about picking the perfect career. It’s about exposure, preparation, and why so many young people are expected to make life-altering decisions without the tools to do so.

    “If you want to be the CEO of your career,” Phil says, “you hire experts. You don’t do it alone.”

    If you’ve ever looked at your child and thought, How are they supposed to figure this out? This episode will feel uncomfortably familiar.

    Listen now and learn more about Phil at: linkedin.com/in/phil-vetrano-mba and his website: planningandvision.com

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    46 min
  • Finding Your Neurodistinct Voice

    Finding Your Neurodistinct Voice
    Dec 11 2025
    “Our brains process the sounds for emotion before we process the words for understanding.”

    In this episode, Heather and Steve sit down with Google technologist and autistic advocate Tim Goldstein, whose late-in-life diagnosis rewired how he sees communication, work, and autism itself. Tim shares how he went from being “the kid who kept getting fired” to someone who now coaches others on using voice, story, and language to actually get results in a neurotypical world—without selling themselves out.

    You’ll hear them dig into:

    Why how you say something often matters more than what you say

    The difference between “masking” and simply adapting to shared social norms

    Why Tim hates the word “neurodivergent” and prefers “neurodistinct”

    How the words we use with managers can accidentally make them feel stupid… and sabotage our own accommodations

    Heather’s daughter’s powerful mic-drop: “I’d rather you not define me by what I can’t do.”

    Eye contact, notifications, and the fine line between “the world should change” and “I want better outcomes, so what can I tweak?”

    Dating, loneliness, and why so many autistic adults miss subtle signals of interest

    If you’re autistic, love someone who is, or work in education, healthcare, or HR, this conversation will change how you hear every interaction—and how you talk about autism from here on out. Learn more about Tim: https://www.timgoldstein.com/

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    45 min
  • DadAbility Episode: VLAWsity Breaks Down Estate Planning for Our Families

    DadAbility Episode: VLAWsity Breaks Down Estate Planning for Our Families
    Nov 19 2025
    Only one in four adults has a will, and for families in the disability community, that gap can change everything. We may not know who will take over when we’re gone, but if we never start the plan, how will anyone know what mattered most about the people we love?


    In this DadAbility episode, Steve goes solo to talk straight with dads about stepping up at home and beyond. It’s real talk about juggling the day-to-day while keeping an eye on the future. Dads feel that pull to take care of things. Estate planning isn’t flashy, but it’s one of those jobs that feels good once it’s done. Getting it handled brings calm, confidence, and a sense that you’re truly showing up for your family.

    Steve is joined by attorneys Kevin Barone and Ted Perry, co-founders of VLAWsity, a do-it-yourself online platform that helps families create wills, powers of attorney, and special needs trusts from home. Their mission is to make the process affordable, accessible, and manageable on your own schedule.

    Together they unpack what a special needs trust really does, how it protects eligibility for programs such as SSI and Medicaid, and why families in the disability community need to act now rather than later.

    Steve shares candid reflections as a dad of an autistic adult son and foster/adoptive parent, while Kevin and Ted explain how taking time to plan ahead can prevent courts or the state from making decisions that should stay within the family.

    If you have ever thought, “I know I should do this, but I don’t know where to start,” this conversation is your roadmap and your reminder that estate planning is not about fear. It is about love, peace of mind, and the kind of steady leadership that helps dads protect the people who count on them most.

    👉 Learn more or start your will today at VLAWsity.com

    #FindingCommonGround, #PodcastWithPurpose, #ChangingTheWayAdvocacysDone, #EmpowermentAdvocacy, #UnfilteredConversations, #FocusedOnSolutions, #InviteTheElephantToDinner, #DadAbility, #DadsWhoCare, #ModernFatherhood, #DadAdvocate, #StrongDads, #FamilyFirst, #FatherhoodJourney, #ParentingWithPurpose, #LegacyPlanning, #EstatePlanning, #PlanForTheFuture, #ProtectYourFamily, #FinancialWellness, #FatherhoodMatters, #MenWhoLead, #RealTalkForDads, #DadLifeUnfiltered, #NextGenDads, #BuildingLegacy, #SecureTheFuture, #DadCommunity, #EmpoweredParenting, #FamilyAdvocacy, #DisabilityDads, #SpecialNeedsDads, #CaregiverDads, #DadsSupportingDads, #PlanningWithPurpose, #HonestConversations, #ProtectWhatMatters, #StrongerTogether


    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    36 min
  • Kathy Takes Over – No More Listening Mode for Steve!

    Kathy Takes Over – No More Listening Mode for Steve!
    Nov 14 2025
    What happens when a former guest takes the mic and flips the script? In this hilarious and heartfelt episode, Kathy Caruso returns to Finding Common Ground — but this time, she’s running the show.

    Host Steve Gonyea finds himself in the hot seat as Kathy digs deep into his story, his “why,” and what drives his advocacy as a dad. With Heather chiming in from the sidelines (and occasionally fanning the flames), this takeover turns into one of the most revealing and entertaining episodes yet.

    Expect laughter, honesty, and a few moments that’ll make you think twice about what happens when we let go of control and truly open up.

    Tune in, share your favorite quote from the episode, and tag us with your thoughts — we love hearing how these conversations resonate with you!

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    50 min
  • Autism Dad & Paramedic: Prep for Emergencies

    Autism Dad & Paramedic: Prep for Emergencies
    Oct 30 2025
    How many times have you had to educate the people trying to help your child with autism?

    In this episode of Finding Common Ground, Steve talks with Matt Yelton, a paramedic, flight medic, and autism dad who lives and breathes this reality every day. When emergencies happen, Matt has been on both sides — the parent advocating for his child, and the first responder called to help.

    He shares how his personal experiences inspired him to train first responders across New York to recognize when behaviors are rooted in autism, not defiance and how families can prepare before a crisis ever happens.

    “The best thing you can do at the start of the school year is figure out who these kids are and talk to their educators, talk to their families, learn what makes them tick.”

    You’ll also hear:

    What to do before a crisis so first responders are ready to help your child

    Why dads need to be part of the advocacy conversation

    How real change happens when parents and professionals learn from each other

    This one will leave you better prepared and more hopeful about the helpers who show up when it matters most.

    Listen now on YouTube, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app, and join us in Finding Common Ground between families and first responders.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    34 min
  • 🎧 Showing Up Without Burning Out: The Unfiltered Catch-Up

    🎧 Showing Up Without Burning Out: The Unfiltered Catch-Up
    Oct 23 2025
    What happens when two advocates hit pause on the chaos and just talk it out?Heather and Steve take a breather from the headlines and just talk. In this unfiltered catch-up, they open up about juggling life, advocacy, and everything in between — from Heather’s upcoming trip to the First Place Global Symposium to Steve’s work with the National Council on Severe Autism.
    They trade stories, laughter, and strategy on how to keep showing up without burning out, diving into transition challenges, teasing their upcoming guest lineup, and showing how the right conversation can make all the difference. Listen now for a real, no-guest look behind the movement they’re building together.

    Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/finding-common-ground--6199849/support.

    Recorded at ROC Vox Recording & Production Studios in Rochester, NY. Learn more at rocvox.com.
    Mostra di più Mostra meno
    37 min