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How Do You Grieve a Mother Who Is Still Alive?

with Lativa and Counsellor Andrea

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains open and honest discussions around grief, loss, mental health, abusive parenting, and family estrangement. Please listen with care. 🤎

What happens when the first person you ever grieve… is your own mother — and she’s still alive?

In this episode, Lativa, a British citizen with Ghanaian roots, shares her deeply personal story of grieving her mother who is still here — but emotionally absent, distant, and abusive throughout much of her life. Her mother’s struggles with mental health and the traumatic loss of custody left Lativa grieving the relationship that never was, and the parent she always wished she had.

While many grief stories center on death, this conversation opens up the often unspoken reality of grieving someone who is still breathing. And while her mother remains alive, the grief of that broken bond shaped Lativa’s very first experience with loss.

Later in life, Lativa also faced the sudden death of her beloved uncle — a loss that added another layer to her grief journey. Yet through it all, her spiritual beliefs, her grounding in self-awareness, journaling, and mindful practices like smoking weed in a healthy, intentional way have helped her navigate the weight of it all.

Joined by Counsellor Andrea, we explore:

• Grieving the living: mourning a parent who is still alive but not emotionally present
• Navigating the pain of an abusive childhood and estrangement
• Honoring your own mental health first — before trying to repair broken family bonds
• The importance of grace and space: when (or if) reconciliation is possible
• How spirituality, belief in ancestors, and energy work can offer comfort in grief
• Processing the sudden death of a loved one (her uncle) while carrying other griefs
• When does grief end? — A reflection on why grief may never fully end, but how it evolves over time

This is an honest conversation about choosing yourself, holding space for your own healing, and redefining what grief can look like. Because sometimes, grief isn’t about the dead — it’s about the living who are no longer with us in the ways we need.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. You are not alone. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

When Grief Meets Peace and Regret: Losing My Father to COVID and Mental Illness

with Bonita and Counsellor Andrea

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains honest discussions around grief, loss, mental illness, and the impact of COVID-19. Please listen with care. 🤎

What does it mean when grief doesn’t just hurt — but also brings peace?

In this episode, Bonita, a British citizen, shares the emotional story of losing her father, who battled Paranoid Schizophrenia, and later passed away after contracting COVID-19 during the pandemic. Like many families who lost loved ones during lockdown, Bonita faced the heartbreak of not being able to be by her father’s side in those final moments.

But this conversation holds more than grief. Bonita speaks openly about how, alongside the sadness, there was also a deep sense of peace — knowing her father was no longer suffering from the pain and struggles that came with his mental illness. She shares what it was like to love someone while never quite knowing which version of him she was going to get each day — the weight of the uncertainty, the emotional exhaustion, and the complicated love that comes with that.

Joined by Counsellor Andrea, we explore:

• The layered grief of losing a parent to both mental illness and COVID
• The unpredictable nature of loving someone with Paranoid Schizophrenia
• Finding peace in the midst of pain
• How mental health tools like journaling, yoga, and self-awareness helped Bonita cope
• The emotional complexity of feeling both loss and relief
• The five stages of grief — understanding how they show up differently for everyone
• Why every grief journey looks different — and that’s okay

This was a shorter conversation, but one filled with reflection, softness, and honesty. A reminder that grief doesn’t always follow the rules we expect — sometimes, healing comes with letting go.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. You are not alone. 🤎

Sound Note:
There are a few moments in this episode where the audio may not be as clear (especially with my counsellor audio). If you're listening on audio platforms, increasing your volume may help during these parts.

Thank you for your patience and understanding — the heart of the conversation remains so important, and I truly appreciate you listening. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

The Grief of Losing Him Twice: My Brother Went Missing for Two Years — And Died by Suicide

with Marley and Counsellor Andrea

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains open discussions around suicide, suicidal thoughts, schizophrenia, panic attacks, anxiety, and grief. Please listen with care. If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available. 🤎

What does grief look like when you lose someone twice — first to mental illness, and then to suicide?

In one of the heaviest and most emotional episodes of this series, Marley, originally from Portugal, based in London, shares the heartbreaking story of her brother — a young man who battled schizophrenia, went missing for two years, and was later found to have died by suicide in a forest. It’s a story of loss, trauma, and the painful uncertainty of waiting and hoping — only to face the worst possible outcome.

This episode isn’t just about loss. It’s also about the signs we often miss, the words we sometimes dismiss, and the regret that follows. I open up about my own experience of not recognising when a friend was crying out for help — a friend who later attempted suicide. At the time, mental health wasn’t something many of us knew how to talk about. But this conversation is a reminder of why we must learn to listen better.

Alongside Counsellor Andrea, we talk through:

• The warning signs of suicidal thoughts
• How to really pay attention when someone says they’re not okay
• Panic attacks, anxiety, and how they show up in grief and trauma
• Why suicide grief feels so complex, lonely, and hard to speak about
• How to support someone through suicidal ideation — even when it’s hard to hear

I’ll be honest — as the conversation unfolded, there were moments I couldn’t hold it together. Watching Marley physically shake as she shared her story, I found myself lost for words. At one point, I had to turn to Andrea and ask her to help guide the conversation. That’s how heavy this was.

But this is exactly why these stories need to be told. Because silence only adds to the pain.

If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out for support. You are not alone. 🤎

Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
Below are various services and organisations that offer help and support to people experiencing mental health challenges:

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

Does Therapy Work for You? Accountability, Negligence, and the Mental Health Debate

with Sheun and Counsellor Andrea

Trigger Warning:
This episode contains honest discussions around suicide, suicidal thoughts, and mental health struggles. Please listen with care, and reach out for support if needed.

What happens when therapy doesn’t feel like healing? And who is held accountable when mental health support fails?

In this episode, Sheun, originally from Nigeria, based in London, joins me alongside counsellor Andres for one of the most honest — and controversial — conversations we’ve had on the podcast. Sheun shares his personal mental health journey, the tools that work for him, and why knowing yourself is key. But he also raises a critical and uncomfortable question: Are counsellors always right? Can therapy sometimes do more harm than good?

Together, we unpack the harder side of therapy — counsellor bias, lack of empathy, and how poor mental health support can, in some cases, make people feel even more isolated. This episode also addresses one of the most serious and sensitive issues in mental health care: the link between negligence in therapy and suicidal thoughts or crisis situations.

Toward the end of our conversation, we reflect on the state of mental health awareness in Nigeria — the stigma, the silence, and the need for more safe spaces for open dialogue.

As your host, I’ll be honest — this wasn’t the conversation I expected to have. I found myself learning, being challenged, and sitting with my own discomfort. But that’s the beauty of these real, raw discussions. Sometimes, the conversations that take an unexpected turn are the ones we need most.

This isn’t about cancelling therapy. It’s about asking the questions we’re often too afraid to ask — because healing isn’t one-size-fits-all, and accountability matters.🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

Grief, Anger, Losing Friends — and the Things You Should Never Say

with Calum

What happens when grief doesn’t just break your heart — it changes who you are?

In this episode, Calum, originally from South Africa, based in London, shares the painful story of losing his father to cancer on short notice. But this conversation goes beyond the loss itself. We talk about the anger grief leaves behind, the mood swings, the isolation — and the friends who quietly drift away because they don’t understand the version of you that grief creates.

We reflect on how grief can make you someone people don’t recognise — and the silent expectations put on men to “stay strong” and “move on.” Callum opens up about being the only son in his family, the weight of responsibility, and how grief can feel like failure when you’re expected to hold it all together.

We also explore one of the biggest lessons grief teaches: dos & don'ts and the things people say (and shouldn’t say) to those who are grieving. Because sometimes, even well-meaning words can cut the deepest.

This is a raw, honest conversation about loss, friendship, anger, and why it’s okay to not be okay.

Sound Note:
There are a few moments in this episode where the audio may not be as clear (especially with the psychotherapist’s mic). If you're listening on audio platforms, increasing your volume may help during these parts.

Thank you for your patience and understanding — the heart of the conversation remains so important, and I truly appreciate you listening.🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

Grief, Friendship, and the Group Chat That Never Left

with Plamena

What happens when grief finds you young — but so does friendship?

In this episode, Plamena, originally from Bulgaria, based in London, shares the story of losing two of her childhood friends in a tragic accident. They were classmates, part of the same friendship circle, bonded by school memories — and then, by loss.

But their story didn’t end there.

Years later, the same group chat they once shared is still alive. Messages still go out on anniversaries. They still meet at the gravesite whenever they’re home. They still talk about the friends they lost — keeping their memory alive, together.

This episode is a reflection on grief, friendship, and the beautiful ways community can hold space for loss. We also explore why, for Plamena, counselling didn’t offer the healing she hoped for — and how instead, friendship became her safe space.

Because sometimes, it’s the people who were there with you who know how to sit with the pain. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

The Grief Nigerian Men Are Told to Hide

with Olu

What does it mean to be a strong man when your world has fallen apart?

In this episode, Olu — originally from Nigeria, based in London, raised with the belief that men should always be strong, capable, and silent — shares the raw, honest story of losing his father. A loss that left him angry, disconnected, and fighting with the very people who loved him. A loss that exposed how deeply unprepared many men are when grief hits home.

For the first time, Olu sits with a psychotherapist (also a Nigerian man) to explore the weight of cultural expectations — the silence, the shame, the pressure to “man up” — and how those beliefs nearly robbed him of the chance to grieve, to heal, and to connect with his family.

This is not just a story about Nigerian men. It’s a story for every man who has been told to hide his pain. A reminder that grief does not make you weak. Vulnerability does not make you less of a man.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to break down.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s okay to not be okay. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.

Send us a text

When Grief Keeps You Up — and Sleepwalking

with Yasmina

What happens when grief doesn’t just break your heart — it breaks your sleep too?

In this episode, Yasmina, a British Moroccan, shares her story of loss — beginning with the stillbirth of her baby, followed by the loss of her granddad, her cousin, and the one loss that shook her the most — her mother. She speaks openly about how grief has shown up in the quiet hours of the night, leading to insomnia, restless nights, and episodes of sleepwalking.

We explore the unseen ways loss affects the body and mind, especially the struggle to rest when your heart is heavy. This is an honest conversation about grief, sleep, and survival — and how healing sometimes begins with simply closing your eyes.

Resources mentioned in this episode include support links for sleep health and sleepwalking.

Sound Note:
There are a few moments in this episode where the audio may not be as clear (especially with my psychotherapist audio). If you're listening on audio platforms, increasing your volume may help during these parts.

Thank you for your patience and understanding — the heart of the conversation remains so important, and I truly appreciate you listening. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

Support the show

Stay connected with Eloho Uncensored Pods:

🎥 Watch video episodes & exclusive content on YouTube:
👉 https://tinyurl.com/28ahva3k

📲 Follow on social media for more real conversations on grief, healing, and mental health:
Instagram | TikTok | Facebook | LinkedIn | X (Twitter)
👉 @elohouncensoredpods

🤎 Thank you for being part of these honest and unfiltered conversations.