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The Grief Nigerian Men Are Told to Hide

with Olu

What does it mean to be a strong man when your world has fallen apart?

In this episode, Olu — originally from Nigeria, based in London, raised with the belief that men should always be strong, capable, and silent — shares the raw, honest story of losing his father. A loss that left him angry, disconnected, and fighting with the very people who loved him. A loss that exposed how deeply unprepared many men are when grief hits home.

For the first time, Olu sits with a psychotherapist (also a Nigerian man) to explore the weight of cultural expectations — the silence, the shame, the pressure to “man up” — and how those beliefs nearly robbed him of the chance to grieve, to heal, and to connect with his family.

This is not just a story about Nigerian men. It’s a story for every man who has been told to hide his pain. A reminder that grief does not make you weak. Vulnerability does not make you less of a man.

It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to break down.

It’s okay to ask for help.

It’s okay to not be okay. 🤎

• Helpful Resources and Support Lines:
  • UK: Mental Health Foundation – Get Help
  • USA: Mental Health Is Health – Find a Helpline
  • Nigeria: Mentally Aware Nigeria Initiative (MANI)
  • Global: United for Global Mental Health

Please take care of yourself. 🤎

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