Content note: this episode includes discussion of murder, domestic violence, and suicide. Please listen with care.

What do you do with a grief so heavy you can’t even look at it?
For guest, Christen Dingess, the answer was to pour another drink and keep moving.

She was 23 when her roommate and close friend Dawn was murdered in their Florida apartment. Christen was questioned by police and followed by reporters, and she walked away with a guilt she had no words for. So she packed it all into a box, closed the lid, and became the life of the party.

That box stayed shut for 30 years. She kept it shut with wine nights with the other moms, sales conferences, marathons, and a calendar so full there was never a quiet moment to feel anything. From the outside, she looked like she had it all together. On the inside, she was running.

But God never stopped pursuing her.

In this conversation, Christen opens up about the anxiety that finally caught up with her when her kids started leaving home, and the surprising thing she learned in a therapist’s office that made decades of her life suddenly make sense. She talks honestly about what came up once the wine was gone, why she was so sure Dawn’s family blamed her, and what actually happened when she found the courage to reach out to them. (Grab a tissue for that part. I needed one.)

If you’ve ever told yourself, “You don’t know what I’ve been through, I could never stop,” Christen speaks right to you. Her answer is gentle and practical, and it might be the permission you’ve been waiting for.

This is a story about how God can take the very worst thing that ever happened to us and make something good come from it. It’s also a reminder that putting the glass down is the first step. The real healing happens next.

You were made for more, friend. Christen is living proof.

About Christen Dingess:
Christen Dingess was only 23 when her friend was murdered by her boyfriend in the apartment they shared. For more than thirty years, she kept her grief sealed behind glass, convinced she had moved on. Yet the trauma lingered, quietly shaping her relationships, parenting, career, and how she coped with life.

At fifty-four, therapy led her to reach behind the glass and face what she had long avoided. A PTSD diagnosis marked the beginning of true healing, as buried emotions—fear, distrust, survivor’s guilt—finally surfaced. Through sobriety, therapy, and courage, she learned that touching the pain she had stored away was the doorway to freedom and transformation.

Her memoir, Behind the Glass: A Memoir of Trauma, Drinking to Cope, and the Courage to Heal, is out now.

Links:
•Christen’s website and book: https://christendingess.com/
•Behind the Glass on Amazon and Kindle

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Substack: Drink Less with Susan https://susanlarkin.substack.com/

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

It’s 5 p.m. The urge shows up right on schedule. You say no, and then… nothing happens. No one claps. Nobody notices you just did something hard. And your brain, the same one that learned wine was the reward, files it away as a non-event.

What if there was a way to reward not drinking, and start rewiring your brain to seek that reward instead of wine?

This is the first ever tactic episode of Drink Less with Susan, a new bonus episode where Susan hands you one simple tool to put into practice right away. All you need is about two dollars and something you probably already have in a closet.

It may seem a little corny. Susan admits it. But there’s real brain science behind this tactic and a research study out of UConn that helped shape how alcohol treatment rewards progress. Susan walks you through how it works, why it works, and how to create a real treat-yourself reward!

If you’ve ever stood in the kitchen feeling the urge to pour and wished you had something to do with your hands besides grab a glass, this one is for you.

Listen to Episode 8 first. “I Deserve a Drink: Why Wine Was Never the Reward” explains how alcohol hijacks your brain’s reward system. This episode shows you how to use that same system to work in your favor.

When you’ve listened, tell Susan what your reward is going to be. She really wants to know.

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Substack: Drink Less with Susan https://susanlarkin.substack.com/

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Laundry got a glass. Scrubbing the bathroom got a glass, rubber gloves and all. Dinner got a glass, because dinner happens every. single. night. And Friday? Friday Night was the big one! A bottle and Netflix!

If your drinking looks less like a party and more like a quiet reward for crossing every little finish line in your day, this one is for you.

Susan gets honest about the "I deserve it" glass and where it really came from: a lifelong hustle habit that made rest feel like something she had to earn. Wine became her permission slip to finally sit down."

She walks through what's actually going on in your brain when wine becomes the reward for everything, and why a beautiful sunset or a cup of tea on the deck can start to feel like "meh." Nothing is wrong with you. Your brain is doing exactly what it was built to do.

You'll also meet the inner toddler, the voice that whispers "you worked so hard today, live a little," and hear the surprisingly simple way she answers it without a fight.

Stay to the end for this week's journal prompt, a small exercise that shows you what your treat has really been standing in for.

You do deserve good things. They just don't come in a wine bottle.

Scriptures mentioned: Exodus 20:8-10, Mark 6:31, Matthew 11:28

Resources mentioned:
Free Skip the Sip guide: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/skip-the-sip

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

What do you do when one honest question from a youth pastor stops you cold?

For Julian Kohlbrand, it came while she was leading a small group of middle school girls. He asked: "If one of your students followed you around for a week, would they see Jesus at work in your life?"

Her mind went straight to the night she ran into one of her former volleyball players at a restaurant. She was smashed and trying hard to hide it.

Julian (Jewlz) has never shared her drinking story publicly before. Today she shares it with us, and it is so full of Jesus and His amazing work in her life!

She's known as Jewlz the Budget Nerd. She has an economics degree, and she and her husband were still buried under $107,000 of consumer debt when the 2008 crash hit. That season led to one desperate prayer, and God answered it. What followed was a slow, honest unpacking of everything she'd been carrying, and alcohol was one of the first things He asked her to set down.

Her story of obedience with alcohol, with her finances and her family is also a story of how much God loves us, and has MORE for us than we can even imagine. Jewlz story is one full of God's blessings in His timing, not hers.

Susan and Jewls also found something they didn't expect: the boundaries we set around alcohol and the boundaries we set around money look a lot alike. If either one has been a quiet source of shame for you, this conversation is for you.

Julian "Jewlz The Budget Nerd" Kohlbrand
Certified Financial Coach | Award-Winning Host of The Debt Rebel Podcast
Helping overwhelmed parents ditch debt and build financial freedom — no credit cards required.

website: www.jewlzthebudgetnerd.com
Listen to The Debt Rebel podcast: → Listen & Review
(Susan recommends the episodes on managing irregular income and stopping impulse spending.)

Connect on Threads

ADHD-Friendly Paycheck Planner: https://www.jewlzthebudgetnerd.com/guide

Ready to stop feel­ing behind and start feeling in control? Grab this free guide that gives you the exact steps I used to guide hundreds of families from money chaos into clarity.

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

What if the thing keeping you stuck in the wine cycle has nothing to do with willpower? Or with how much you love Jesus?

You may already know alcohol isn't doing you any favors. Most women I work with could teach a class on it. And yet the evenings keep looking the same. In this episode I get honest about what was really holding me back for years, and why I spent so long sitting in a prison cell with the door wide open, volunteering to be the cleaning lady.

It starts with a potty training story. Yes, really. You'll laugh, you might cringe a little, and I promise you will never forget it.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Who we're actually hiding from when we keep our drinking quiet (it's not who you'd guess)
• Why your fear isn't the enemy, and what it might be trying to protect
• A fresh way of reading 1 John 4:18 that changed how I deal with fear altogether
• The step most coaching programs skip, and why I won't
• How one client's surprising "why" opened rooms in her heart she'd kept locked for years
• A short guided practice to help you meet your fear with love instead of shame (save this one for when you're not driving)

If you've ever whispered "I just can't do this" or wondered what you'd even do at 5 p.m. without a glass in your hand, this episode is for you. You don't have to be ready. You just have to take one step out of the corner.

Book mentioned: Hinds' Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

Ready to stop facing this alone? I'd love to be your guide.

Schedule your free Alcohol Freedom Clarity Call. No obligation, no pressure. Just a real conversation with someone who gets it. I might be the first person you've ever told your story to, and that alone can be a relief.
👉 Clarity call link: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

Drink Less with Susan is for sober curious women of faith who know they were made for more.

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Sober Testimony Episode: Guest Rina Bowring, grew up in church with loving Christian parents. She rebelled and ended up binge drinking by 13, smoking, and using drugs by 16, and eventually numbing postpartum depression she couldn't even name with a bottle of wine every night at 5pm.

This episode is her story of what happened next, the guilt that almost kept her from coming back to God rather than running to Him, and the moment on an ordinary Tuesday morning that changed everything.

No rock bottom.

No dramatic intervention.

Just God's gentle drawing love and grace, showing up quietly, exactly where she was.

What you'll walk away with:

• Why the guilt a Christian woman feels about drinking can either draw her toward God or push her into hiding, and how to tell the difference.
• What was really happening in Rina's brain and body during those "just get through today" years of self-medicating with wine.
• The unexpected, ordinary way her surrender finally happened, and why waiting for rock bottom is a story you don't have to live out.
• What life actually looks like on the other side, when alcohol is no longer standing between you and God.

Guest: Rina Bowring, is a faith-centered, neuroscience-informed alcohol freedom coach who helps women in Australia and New Zealand understand why they drink, renew mindsets keeping them stuck, and find lasting freedom through God's grace instead of white-knuckle willpower.

Rina's Substack: https://rinabowring.substack.com/
Rina's Website: https://www.alcoholfreedom.com.au/

If Rina's story moved you, hit subscribe so you don't miss one of these stories. There's more where this came from!

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

What happens when the thing that made you feel relatable at church is the same thing keeping you from real freedom?

This week I'm joined by Nikki White, author of A Mother Worth Loving and writer behind the Substack Just a Broken Believer, for a conversation about growing up in a church with a strict no-drinking rule, and how she spent years hopping between the good Christian girl and the woman pouring wine in her own basement wine cellar.

Nikki takes us into her "cool Christian era," complete with a literal wine cellar behind a trapdoor in her living room, and the quiet discomfort she felt every time that door closed above her. We talk about the guilt-and-shame cycle of showing up hungover on Sunday, why the binary belief of "normal drinker or alcoholic" kept her stuck for so long, and the gentle, persistent way she believes God worked on her heart over years, not overnight.

This one is honest, funny in places, and tender in others. If you've ever felt like you were living two different lives depending on who was in the room, you'll want to hear how Nikki finally let those two selves become one.

Her testimony is full of her sincere love for Jesus. You will be blessed!

In this episode:

• Growing up under a strict no-alcohol church rule, and what happened when the rules stopped making sense (2:56)
• The wine cellar behind the trapdoor, and why Nikki never felt at ease down there (7:35)
• Living a divided life between church and the drinking scene (11:39)
• Why "alcohol is a substance problem, not a person problem" reframes everything (14:28)
• The moment that started to shift things for Nikki, and a spiritual dream she almost didn't share (16:43)
• What changed in her relationship with God once she stepped into full freedom (23:06)
• The friendships she was afraid to lose, and what actually happened (27:22)
• Nikki's advice to the version of herself who drank to fit in (28:13)
• Where to find Nikki and her book, A Mother Worth Loving (31:57)

Connect with Nikki:
Substack: Just a Broken Believer https://nikkiswhite.substack.com/
Book: A Mother Worth Loving: A Memoir of Finding Grace in Unexpected Places
https://www.justabrokenbeliever.com/nikki

Remember, you were made for more.

If this episode moved you, hit subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.

Knowing where you stand with alcohol is one thing. Actually deciding to do something about it? That's a whole different step, and it's where most women get stuck, afraid to take the leap. (Susan included). You have more power to Choose than you realize.

In this episode, Susan picks up right where Episode 2 left off and gets honest about the gap between wanting to want to stop and actually being ready to. She walks through the two analogies that finally got her to take action, and unpacks why the discomfort after you let go isn't a sign you got it wrong.

You'll hear:

• Why deciding is an active choice, not something that happens to you
• What Scripture says about the things that quietly hinder us, and why alcohol might be one of them without making you a bad person
• The question from Episode 2 worth sitting with a little longer
• The moment Susan felt something shift when she stopped waiting for it to "get bad enough" to take action

This isn't a call to swear off alcohol forever. It's an invitation to get real data instead of half data, so you can finally answer, honestly, is my life better without it?

Resources:
Grab Susan's free guide, Skip the Sip the Smart Way, for five steps to take your first night off: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com/skip-the-sip

Haven't listened to Episode 2 yet? Start there first, this one builds right on it.

Leave a message for Susan!

Connect with Susan: Susan@susanlarkincoaching.com
Follow Susan on Instagram: @drinklesswithsusan
Website: Susan Larkin Coaching: https://www.susanlarkincoaching.com

Substack: Drink Less with Susan https://susanlarkin.substack.com/

Want support? Schedule a Alcohol-Freedom Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/susanlarkincoaching/30min

It is strongly recommended that you seek professional advice regarding your health before attempting to take a break from alcohol. The creators, hosts, and producers of the The Drink Less with Susan podcast are not healthcare practitioners and therefore do not give medical, or psychological recommendations nor do they intend for the podcast, any resource or communication on behalf of the podcast or otherwise to be a substitute for such.