Meet Gloria Plumbing (yes, that's her real name) – meditation instructor by day, compulsive organizer by...well, always. In this special episode, Norn's better half takes over to share her own unique perspective on stress management, including:

• A completely reasonable 17-category system for organizing bathroom breaks
• Why "Zen" being last alphabetically is a cosmic joke
• Her award-worthy* pharmacy reorganization incident
• The definitive guide to organizing panic attacks alphabetically
• Why her meditation instructor needs meditation

*Award not yet received, but she's organized the acceptance speech by word count, emotional impact, and potential for tears.

From the world of The Curious Case of Norn Westerbelt comes a neurotic new voice that will make you question whether your own sock drawer is arranged properly (it isn't).

Note: No alphabetization systems were harmed in the making of this episode. Gloria's filing cabinet, however, needed therapy.

From the anxious mind behind "The Curious Case of Norn Westerbelt" comes an essential guide to navigating America's most famous urban park.

Why This Guide Exists

Every day, thousands of people visit Central Park. They come for the scenery, the culture, and the escape from city life. But what they don't come prepared for are the practical realities of spending hours in an 843-acre public space. Until now.

What You'll Learn

• Strategic facility locations throughout the park

• High-end alternatives for emergencies (Plaza Hotel tactics)

• Recently renovated spots you need to know about

• Meditation locations for stress management

• Hidden gems most tourists never find

Guide Highlights

• The truth about the Loeb Boathouse renovation

• Why the North Woods is called the "Zen Zone"

• Shakespeare Garden's secret benefits

• The real reason to donate to the Met

• Which castle-related directions to ignore

Professional's Note

This guide was born from necessity and refined through experience. While my book The Curious Case of Norn Westerbelt (Amazon, Spotify) tells my personal story, this audio guide serves a more practical purpose: helping you navigate one of the world's most famous parks with confidence and dignity.

Essential Tips

1. The southeast corner offers multiple high-end options

2. Mid-park facilities require strategic timing

3. Northern section provides quieter, less touristy alternatives

4. Always carry quarters (trust me on this)

5. Know your emergency backup locations

The author is an uncertified urban survival expert who has mapped every facility in Manhattan through personal necessity.

About the Series

This is part of an ongoing series of urban survival guides for high-strung professionals. Future guides will cover:

• Midtown During Holiday Season

• Financial District After Hours

• Museum Mile Emergencies

• Greenwich Village Hidden Gems

Follow for weekly updates and guides. Subscribe to the Substack newsletter for exclusive content and emergency updates.

From the delightfully twisted mind of P. Flushing Worthington III comes a satirical tale that will have you laughing in recognition and crossing your legs in sympathy.

Meet Norn Westerbelt, a man whose digestive system has developed a peculiar way of expressing its opinion about his anger management issues.

When it comes to urban survival, Norn has become the new norm. As a high-strung accountant navigating life in the city, he's established himself as Manhattan's most abnormally normal expert, mapping out every possible pit stop within a five-mile radius of his existence. His smartphone contains not one, but three different bathroom-finding apps, each rated for accuracy, cleanliness, and discretion. Certainly not your normal approach to city living!

When he meets Gloria Plumbing (yes, that's her real name), a meditation instructor with her own far-from-normal quirk—an uncontrollable urge to alphabetize everything in sight—Norn discovers that sometimes the best way to handle life's awkward moments is to normalize them. Together, they navigate the choppy waters of modern living, proving that what seems abnormal at first might just become the new normal.

"The Curious Case of Norn Westerbelt" is a heartwarming comedy about finding acceptance in the most unexpected places, learning to laugh at life's inconvenient moments, and discovering that sometimes the best solutions come from embracing our abnormalities rather than fighting them. When it comes to making the best of life's awkward situations, Norn Westerbelt wrote the new norm.

Perfect for fans of:

• David Sedaris's self-deprecating humor
• Carl Hiaasen's quirky characters
• Jenny Lawson's honest approach to personal challenges

Warning: This book may cause abnormally frequent fits of laughter in public places. Reading in the vicinity of your own facilities is, normally, strongly advised.

Want to read it instead? Get it on Amazon here:

The Curious Case of Norn Westerbelt (Kindle)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DTVS547K

And to read more of Norn's musings, visit his blog at https://nornwesterbelt.substack.com.