Saturn Returns! Motherhood! Rage!

In this episode I sit down with writer, astrologer, and mystic Ayu Sutriasa for a raw conversation about Saturn returns, motherhood, identity collapse, creativity, and grounded spirituality.

Ayu shares her winding path with mysticism — growing up between cultures, spiritual lineages, and academic inquiry — and how studying mysticism through a critical, scholarly lens helped her dissolve binaries around “good vs bad,” spirituality vs politics, and transcendence vs embodiment.

Together, Leah and Ayu explore what it really means to live your spirituality in the material world, especially through the threshold experiences of Saturn return, postpartum identity shifts, and becoming responsible for your gifts.

Topics we cover:

• Postpartum depression, rage, and grief

• The identity death that comes with motherhood and Saturn return

• Reclaiming creativity after burnout, loss, or life upheaval

• Using astrology, ritual, and writing as survival tools

• Why responsibility can become agency — not a burden

• Reconnecting with your inner child as a creative muse

• Saturn Return astrology

If you’ve ever felt like you were walking through a void, shedding old versions of yourself, or trying to find solid ground after everything changed — this conversation will meet you there.

More about Ayu

Ayu Sutriasa is an archetypal astrologer, tarot reader, writer, and creative midwife. She works with creatives, artists, writers, and business owners to hone their vision, build self-trust, and actually finish their creative projects.

Combining her six years of magazine editing experience with her knowledge of astrology and mysticism, Ayu’s mission is to support her clients in reclaiming their creative genius and reimagining their relationship with possibility.

She’s known for her Creative Archetype reading, which is a total immersion into your kaleidoscopic creative energy using your natal chart and divination. When she’s not working, she’s hanging out with her 3 year-old, reading smutty fantasy books, or dancing to BTS.

Links for Ayu:

• Join Ayu on Jan. 22nd for a FREE writing workshop where you’ll learn how to turn your 2026 vision + goals into prophecy. Come as you are, channel your inner oracle, and connect with other visionary creatives. Reserve your spot here.

• Signature: Creative Archetype reading

• Website astralpathways.co

• Substack: Astral Pathways

• Podcast: Crybaby Mystic

• Instagram: @astralpathways

Links for Leah:

• Cosmic Style Alchemy

• Next Era Reading

Messy girls have more fun.

2026 marks a major turning point in astrology, culture, and personal style.

Today we’re breaking down the long-term planetary transits that will shape how we lead, create, dress, and define ourselves in the years ahead.

2026 Cultural & Style Themes:

The decline of pop astrology & guru culture
Neptune and Saturn in Aries push us away from flattened, meme-ified spirituality and toward personal truth, embodied leadership, and chart-specific wisdom.

Messy girl, elevated chaos & maximalism
The “clean girl” aesthetic continues to fade with the South Node in Virgo and as Leo, Aquarius, and Aries energy usher in imperfect beauty, glamorati vibes, indie sleaze nostalgia, and expressive excess.

Jupiter in Leo style energy

It’s giving: bold accessories, costume jewelry, gold, drama, play, and flirtation with visibility.

Healing validation-seeking while reclaiming authentic self-expression.

Aquarius + Uranus influence

Think: Glitchy glam, asymmetry, eccentric makeup, and mismatched styling.

Ice blues, electric blues, futuristic tones, customization, and resistance to sameness.

Revolutionary & military references
Pluto and the North Node in Aquarius echo historic revolutions — think military jackets, camo callbacks, structured silhouettes, and symbolic rebellion in fashion.

Color as resistance
Dopamine dressing, bold primaries, and expressive color palettes as a rejection of sterile minimalism and conformity.

Ultimately, It's about personal style expression over trends

2026 is about becoming your own style authority.

With Saturn and Neptune in Aries, personal style becomes a tool for identity, courage, and self-trust. Secondhand shopping, thrifting, accessories, customization, and intuitive dressing replace rigid trend cycles and algorithm-driven aesthetics.

Links:

Book a reading with me :)

An Energetic Syllabus for 2026

Abundance is a disciple, not a desire

My 2026 Trends Pinterest Board

In this solo episode, I”m digging into a personal experiment that I’m doing to start showing up as my most iconic self and how you can do it too.

Rather than manifesting from desire alone, this practice focuses on embodiment, sensation, and daily habits that align with the version of you who already has what you want.

This episode explores how to work with seasonal energy, emotional capacity, and self-trust during liminal times — including 2025 astrology, a Sagittarius New Moon, and the Capricorn solstice.

In this episode:

• Solstice rituals and solar magic practices
• The Astro Weather report for the week
• What it really means to become your “iconic self”
• Working with collective change cycles (2025 → 2026)
• Numbing out blocking intuition as much as fear
• Pleasure, presence, and capacity as prerequisites for expansion
• Glamour magic and aesthetic embodiment
• Identity shifts through motherhood and life transitions
• Dopamine detoxing, nervous system capacity, and presence
• Breathwork, EFT tapping, somatic release & intuition
• How to turn your life into a living spell
• Tracking expansion evidence and celebrating micro-wins

Check out my offerings and get a reading: leahvanderveldt.com

Go to the Substack post for this episode to see the experiment outline.