What parts of yourself have you learned to keep quiet in order to belong?

Who is really allowed to speak freely in our workplaces and relationships?

How much of your life is shaped by what you DON’T say?

In this episode, I am joined by author, speaker, and organizational consultant Elaine Lin Hering to explore the word silence not as a lack of sound, but as a social force—one that shapes power, belonging, and whose voices are allowed to matter.

Elaine is the author of "Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully", a groundbreaking book that examines how silence is taught, rewarded, and enforced in families, workplaces, and culture—and how it often protects systems more than people. Together, we unpack how silence shows up in professional spaces, in relationships, and in our own inner lives, especially for those whose identities make speaking up more costly.

This conversation moves beyond encouragements to “just speak up,” and instead asks harder questions: Who is being asked to take the risk? Who is being heard? And what does it really take to create cultures where voice is safe, welcomed, and valued?

Show Notes & Resources

This episode includes references to Elaine’s writing as well as the work of other researchers. In the section below, you’ll find links to Elaine’s book "Unlearning Silence" and other resources discussed in the episode.

Articles Referenced:

• https://hbr.org/2024/06/how-to-get-your-team-to-actually-speak-up
• https://www.yourpowerunleashed.org/blog/2023/5/21/womens-use-of-low-power-language-at-work-is-not-diminishing-but-very-strategic
• Buy the book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/720975/unlearning-silence-by-elaine-lin-hering/
• Get free monthly tips on how to solve for silence: https://hello.elainelinhering.com/newsletter

Production Team

Host/Creator - Carl James

Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox

Editor - Walter Nordquist

Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas

Music - Yennaedo Balloo

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do we mean when we talk about currency—and who gets to decide what holds value?

In this episode of "Can I Have a Word?", I explore how currency extends far beyond money. From desirability and youth, to social access and belonging, this conversation examines how value is assigned, circulated, and sometimes quietly withdrawn—especially within queer spaces and broader social systems.

This is the shorter audio version of the episode. If you’re interested in spending more time with these ideas, the full, expanded conversation—with additional reflection and context—is available on YouTube.

Production Team

Host/Creator - Carl James

Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox

Editor - Walter Nordquist

Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas

Music - Yennaedo Balloo

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Discipline is often understood as something rigid—tight control, strict routines, or the ability to push through discomfort at all costs. But that version of discipline doesn’t work for everyone, and it rarely lasts.

In this episode, we explore discipline as a practice rather than a test of toughness. When discipline is intentionally designed around your own standards, needs, and capacities, it becomes sustainable—and surprisingly freeing.

Clear intention creates focus. Focus creates momentum. And over time, that consistency can open a path toward purpose, rather than pulling you away from it. This episode reflects on how discipline, when grounded in alignment instead of rigidity, can help us move with clarity toward what actually matters.

Production Team

Host/Creator - Carl James

Lead Engineer - Josh Wilcox

Editor - Walter Nordquist

Logo Design - Stephanie Cardenas

Music - Yennaedo Balloo

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.