Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of Becoming Both 🤍

In this episode, I start by chatting about how nice it is to have T home and just how much he actually does for our family. Having him away really highlighted everything he carries, and I was so glad I could support him taking some time for himself after all he gives to us. I am looking forward to my 2 night stay in a hotel this weekend!

Then we get right into parenting values and routines. I share what matters most to me in our house, and I also asked other mums over on Instagram @doulamarley to share what’s important to them too. The responses were so varied and honestly hope you feel way better about how different we all do this! I see it so much in my experiences babysitting and nannying.

Things get a little spicy when we move into parenting “icks” 👀 which definitely created a bit of controversy and a lot of opinions. Not everyone agreed (shock), but it made for a really interesting and very real conversation.

We finish on the best note, talking about the things we genuinely admire about other mums. This part was super wholesome and such a good reminder that mums are pretty bloody amazing.

Find me over at insta @doulamarley @becomingboth where I discuss all things motherhood, birth, pregnancy, life and relationships.

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n this episode, I’m joined by Tess for a conversation that sits very close to my heart: what it’s like to mother without a mother.

I was so grateful to finally have Tess on the podcast to talk openly about her estranged relationship with her mum and how that has shaped her own journey into motherhood. Tess shares honestly about the complexity of being completely estranged from her mother for over 12 years, and how becoming a mum herself brought up old wounds, unanswered questions, and grief she didn’t even realise she was carrying.

We talk about the emotional layers of mothering without that maternal support so many people rely on. The guilt, the expectations, the longing, and the quiet sadness that can show up around moments like pregnancy, postpartum, illness, and milestones where you suddenly realise there’s no one to call. Tess reflects on how having her daughter, Marni, shifted her perspective on her own childhood and deepened her commitment to breaking generational cycles.

We also get into the very real, practical side of things. How not having a mum impacts the logistics of daily life, and why building a support system becomes so important. Tess shares why she chose to hire a doula to help fill some of that gap and how powerful it was to feel supported during such a vulnerable time.

We touch on the emotional heaviness of days like Mother’s Day and other family-focused milestones, and how complicated they can feel when your experience of “mother” doesn’t fit the narrative. Throughout the conversation, we come back to the hope and healing that can exist in creating loving, secure relationships with our own children.

This episode is honest, tender, and deeply validating. If you’re navigating motherhood without a mother, whether through estrangement, loss, or complicated family dynamics, this conversation is for you. You are not alone and it's bloody hard. For those who might not be able to relate, I hope this gives you an insight into the hardship of trying to mother without a blue print.

I would love to connect! Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth

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In today’s solo episode, I’m opening up about my childhood and what it was like growing up as the daughter of a heroin addict.

I talk about my mum’s addiction, from finding her unresponsive as a young child to navigating the long-term emotional impact that comes with loving a parent who is unwell. I share how those early experiences shaped my sense of safety, my relationships, and the way I learned to survive emotionally.

We explore the grief that comes with accepting that a parent may never be who you needed them to be, and the process of holding compassion without losing yourself in the process. I reflect on how those experiences still live in me and how motherhood has brought a deeper awareness of the cycles I want to break.

This episode is tender, honest, and deeply personal. My hope is that sharing my story creates space for understanding, healing, and connection 🤍