This story follows a journey that begins in silence—shaped by hardship, responsibility, and experiences that were never given space to be spoken. Growing up in an environment where survival came before self, much was carried internally. What could not be expressed outwardly became an inner world that deepened over time. Rather than being defined by these experiences, they became a source of understanding. Moving through the mental health system, and later stepping beyond it, this path unfolds into one of contribution—helping to build peer-led spaces, shaping services, and influencing systems through lived experience rather than theory. There is no loud declaration in this journey, no need for recognition. The impact happens quietly—through presence, through creating spaces where others feel seen, and through shifting how people understand themselves and each other. At its heart, this is a story of living from the inside out—where what was once carried alone becomes something that transforms not only a life, but the systems around it.

This Podcast explores the lived experience of growing up between cultures as a second-generation Asian in New Zealand. It reveals the tension of navigating different cultural expectations—balancing expression and restraint, belonging and difference—while trying to make sense of identity. Alongside these challenges, it touches on mental health struggles that are often unspoken or misunderstood, both within families and communities. Seeking support becomes a personal journey, not only of understanding emotions but also of bridging the generational gap through communication and education. At its core, it reflects the process of accepting complexity—learning that identity need not fit into a single category but can exist across multiple worlds, shaped by both culture and personal experience.

This episode takes you through a powerful journey of identity, culture, and personal transformation — unfolding across study, lived experience, and reflection.

We begin with a search for direction, where academic curiosity leads to a deeper focus on cultural psychology and emotional regulation. What starts as research soon becomes something more personal — a mirror into identity, heritage, and the complexity of living between cultures.

As the conversation develops, it reveals how emotional understanding is not always natural or immediate. There is a tension between feeling and recognising emotions, shaped by upbringing, cultural expectations, and lived experiences. This is further explored through frameworks such as Confucianism, which offer context for behaviours, values, and ways of relating.

Alongside academic growth comes self-doubt, pressure, and the challenge of balancing study, work, and life. Yet within that pressure, there is also transformation — a gradual shift in confidence, awareness, and self-understanding.

The conversation then moves into deeper, more personal territory. It explores the immigrant experience — the unspoken expectations to succeed, the early responsibilities taken on as a child, and the weight of carrying both family sacrifice and personal ambition. These experiences lead to burnout, emotional strain, and moments of breaking, but also to seeking help and beginning the healing process.

There is a turning point in how the past is understood. Through conversations with parents, a new perspective forms — one that recognises both pain and growth. Change is seen not only within oneself, but across generations.

At its core, this episode is about navigating multiple worlds — cultural, emotional, and personal — while slowly shaping an identity that is your own. It is about learning, unlearning, and transforming past experiences into something that can be carried forward with clarity and strength. A journey of becoming — still unfolding.

What does it really mean to grow up as a 1.5 Asian migrant in New Zealand? In this episode of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, Wendy Su shares her deeply personal journey navigating identity, responsibility, and the unspoken pressures many Asian migrants carry but rarely talk about. From the invisible “contract to succeed” that many immigrant children inherit, to taking on adult responsibilities at a young age, Wendy opens up about the hidden realities behind the “model minority” narrative. This is a conversation about sacrifice, burnout, family, love, and the courage to define your own path. We explore: The unspoken pressure to succeed as an immigrant child Growing up between cultures and identities Early responsibility, burnout, and emotional impact Family expectations, sacrifice, and healing Setting boundaries while still holding love Redefining success on your own terms This episode speaks to anyone who has ever felt the weight of expectation, navigated cultural identity, or tried to honour both family and self at once.

Shelwin flips the script and interviews Ivan, the creator of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, drawing out the life story behind the voice. Ivan shares his origins (born in Singapore, raised in Malaysia, later moving to New Zealand at 28) and the pressure of growing up gay in a culture where homosexuality is criminalised. He describes an unstable childhood shaped by his father’s hidden criminal life, frequent moving, fear, and periods of being left alone while his mother worked tirelessly to keep the family afloat. Arriving in New Zealand becomes a turning point: Ivan encounters an open gay community for the first time, studies social science, and begins confronting internalised shame, loneliness, depression, and heavy drinking—until survival forces a change. He then steps into pioneering peer support work in Auckland, helping define what peer support and recovery can look like, especially across cultures, while advocating for Asian communities in mental health, suicide prevention, and gambling harm spaces. The conversation returns repeatedly to identity: Ivan’s relationship with his mother’s sacrifice, the complicated grief and love around his father, the later decision to forgive, and the surprising reconnection through daily messages and phone calls. Ivan also reflects on burnout—how passion and responsibility can quietly outgrow capacity—and on stepping away from work, which opened a deeper question: “Who is Ivan outside of what he does?” The episode closes in a tender, ongoing chapter: letting go of old structures, reclaiming creativity, and moving toward a freer, more aligned life.

Tricia reflects on how life rarely unfolds as expected, tracing the “threads” that shaped her—from a childhood marked by international moves and early awareness of injustice, to teaching and youth work, to a faith grounded less in institutions and more in values of honesty, inclusion, and walking alongside others. Her life pivots in 1996 when her husband, Michael—a grounded, artistic Baptist minister known for caring for people in crisis—dies by suicide at 38. Tricia describes the shock, the public scrutiny, and her immediate decision to meet suicide without shame. She reframes Michael’s death as an attempt to escape unbearable pain rather than selfishness, insisting on language and understanding that preserve dignity. Driven by love for her children and a need to “bring the monster down to size,” she learns everything she can about suicide, grief, trauma, and mental health, later channelling that into practical education and resources. She volunteers with Skylight, identifies gaps in support materials, begins writing what doesn’t exist, and contributes to early government resources for people bereaved by suicide—while pushing back against formal, distancing language that makes grief feel clinical instead of human. As years pass, she remarries, continues honouring Michael naturally within family life, and speaks to grief as a lifelong “patchwork”: messy on the back, meaningful and colored on the front. She shares how grief and joy can coexist—through grandchildren, anniversaries, ordinary errands—and how small, sincere gestures (lavender picked from her own garden, a butcher’s “you will be okay,” anonymous cash in a letterbox) can become lifelines. Now, Tricia works in supervision and support for frontline helpers (often non-clinical), where suicide and stress frequently surface. Her core message remains consistent: simplify what’s complex without losing truth; use language people can actually hear; make room for colour inside the black; and keep asking, like her TARDIS metaphor, “Where am I, what time is it, and what is it time for now?”

In this heartfelt conversation, Michael—community theatre veteran and current president of The Centrestage Theatre—shares how performing helped him move from a shy, bullied teenager into a lifelong creative force. From his first productions in Hamilton to choreographing, directing, producing, and mentoring new talent, Michael reveals what theatre really demands: discipline, teamwork, chemistry, and heart. He discusses the influence of mentors, the superstitions of the stage, the emotional power of shows like Rent, and the deep personal connection between art, grief, and legacy. Along the way, he highlights why community theatre matters so much: it’s a place where people find confidence, belonging, and the courage to be fully themselves. The episode wraps with honest reflections on leadership, sacrifice, passion, and the unforgettable (often hilarious) moments that only live theatre can create.

This episode of the Authentic Leadership Podcast features a long-form, deeply human conversation with Shelwin Khan, exploring mental health, addiction, recovery, and the meaning of lived experience across cultures, systems, and life stages.

The conversation traces Shelwin’s life journey from early exposure to substances in adolescence, repeated encounters with clinical and justice systems, and years of addiction and mental health challenges, through to recovery shaped primarily by peer support, human connection, and witnessing what is possible through others.

Rather than presenting recovery as a linear success story, the dialogue honours its complexity: ongoing mental health challenges, grief and loss, psychosis during sobriety, identity struggles, and moments of profound hope and meaning. The episode also explores how recovery unfolds across different environments—urban and rural New Zealand, international contexts, cultural expectations, and non-clinical spaces such as creativity, travel, community, and nature.

At its core, this episode is about how people learn to live, not just survive—outside rigid clinical narratives—and how hope is often carried person to person, rather than through systems alone.