The debut cookbook from benny blanco—pop music super-producer, artist, actor on FXX’s Dave, and consummate food freak—teaches you everything you need to know about cooking, enjoying life, and throwing the greatest dinner party of all time.

Hi, I’m benny blanco. I’m in a television show with my best friend Dave and I probably produced most of the songs you have heard on the radio from 2008 until now. When I was thirteen, my friend got a George Foreman Grill and it changed my life forever. We would invite friends over, get stoned, and make the most elaborate sandwiches our prepubescent minds could fathom. I became obsessed with food and cooking for friends.

I know what you are going to say, and I get it. Cooking is scary. But I promise you, once you get into it, it will be your new addiction. Slicing an onion is like taking a Xanax to me. I made this cookbook to teach you everything I know about food, cooking, and throwing the greatest dinner party of all time. There are the basics to get your kitchen ready, a little advice from my expert friends, then all of the dinner party menus I love to make, like:

• 5 Dishes to Get You Laid and One for the Morning After
• I Wish I Were an Italian Grandma
• Take Me to the Cheesy Rodeo
• F*ck Morton’s Steakhouse

Which are filled with insane recipes like:

• Lose Your Mind Lobster Rolls
• “I Might Go Vegetarian” Veggie Sandwich
• Chicken Cutlets with Honey, Peppers, and Parm
• “I Hope We Didn’t Make a Baby” Breakfast Burrito.

I’ve been told some of the finest stories over meals. I’ve laughed so hard I thought I was going to actually die. I’ve fallen in love—sometimes with the food, sometimes with the person across the table. I’ve cried in good ways, and I’ve cried in bad ways. I hope you’ve been lucky enough to have all these same memories and then some. But if you haven’t, I can make you a promise. If you follow these three simple steps, it will all become a reality: Open this book. Open your heart. And open wide, baby.

Supplemental enhancement PDF accompanies the audiobook.