I’ve been reading A Severe Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken, and I have been completely swept up in it.
A friend recommended it, and I can see why. Vanauken is a beautiful writer. The kind of writer who makes you lose track of time.
More than once, I’ve looked up from my morning reading and realized I was suddenly twenty minutes behind schedule. The coffee appointment was coming fast. The day had already started. But I had been pulled into a story that felt larger than my own.
To me, that’s part of what makes a story worthwhile.
For a little while, it lifts you into something grand and beautiful. It gives you language for things you already knew, but had not yet been able to say.
A Severe Mercy tells the story of Sheldon and his wife, Davy, and their journey toward Christianity. Early in the book, they are at Oxford, reading C. S. Lewis, Augustine, Chesterton, and others. They are not yet Christians, but they are beginning to realize that Christianity is not a small thing to be lightly accepted or rejected.
It is not a nice addition to an otherwise respectable life.
It is either true, and therefore the most important truth in the world, or it is false.
He writes:
“It is not possible to be incidentally a Christian. The fact of Christianity must be overwhelmingly first or nothing. This suggests a reason for the dislike of Christians by nominal or non-Christians: their lives contain no overwhelming firsts but many balances.”
…“No overwhelming firsts but many balances.”
That is a piercing description of modern life.
And if we’re honest, it may describe the way many a lot of us handle our finances.
We believe in Jesus. We love the Lord. We want to be faithful. We want our lives to reflect the truth we confess.
But then we look at our financial lives and find a long list of balances.
* A balance between generosity and comfort.
* A balance between stewardship and convenience.
* A balance between conviction and performance.
* A balance between wanting to honor God and not wanting to ask too many questions about what we own.
* A balance between “all that I have belongs to the Lord” and “I hope my portfolio does well.”
And I say all this as a fellow traveler. I feel the weight of it too.
Most of us aren’t trying to be careless with money. We’re not trying to ignore the Lord. We’re certainly not trying to fund things that work against our convictions.
But are good intentions really enough?
At some point, love compels us to look.
Love for the Lord.
Love for our neighbor.
Love for the people affected by the companies we own, the products we support, the systems we fund, and the businesses we profit from.
If Christianity is overwhelmingly first, then it cannot remain sealed off from our investment accounts, our giving, our spending, our estate plans, our insurance decisions, or our cash flow.
That does not mean every decision becomes more complicated.
In fact, it may mean the opposite.
Your next step may be very simple.
Look.
Look at what you own.
Look at what your investments are funding.
Look at whether your financial life is shaped more by habit, fear, convenience, or faith.
You do not have to figure everything out this week. But you can take one honest step.
Go to The Good Investor and use the portfolio screening tool. Or visit Inspire Insight and type in one ticker from your portfolio.
Just look.
Because once you see, you cannot unsee.
And that is not a bad thing.
It may be mercy.
It may be the beginning of a more integrated life, where faith is not one category among many, but the first thing that rightly orders the rest.
Personally, I think ol’ Sheldon was right.
It is not possible to be incidentally a Christian.
The question is whether we are willing to let that truth reach all the way down into our money.
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