You're Collecting Names, Not Building Relationships: 5 Moves to Change That copertina

You're Collecting Names, Not Building Relationships: 5 Moves to Change That

You're Collecting Names, Not Building Relationships: 5 Moves to Change That

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You know you're supposed to lead with value, but the pressure to grow is real, so you rush it. You make the ask too soon, and the recruit feels the pitch coming and pulls back. Here's what I want you to walk away with today. The leaders who win give so much before the ask that joining feels like the obvious next step, and by the time we're done you'll have a way to do that every month without it eating your calendar. I call it value before the ask, and there are five moves. Episode Breakdown [00:01:10] Fifteen Conversations and Nothing to Send A coaching client came into a session excited because he'd had 15 live conversations that week, a lot of them face-to-face from networking around his market, and he felt great about it. So I asked him one question. What are you going to send those fifteen people tomorrow that brings them value? He didn't have an answer, and there was nothing in his toolbox to send. Networking without something of value to follow it with is just collecting names, and most leaders are sitting on a stack of conversations that never go anywhere because the second touch has nothing in it. [00:01:56] Move 1: Give Three Times Before You Ask Once Think of it the way Gary Vaynerchuk does, jab, jab, jab, right hook. That's three real gifts of value for every one ask. Most leaders flip it around, one small favor and then a big ask, and it feels exactly as transactional as it is. Put the ratio back in order and the ask lands completely differently. The clock starts at your first conversation. I coach leaders to bring something of value within 72 hours of that first talk, while it's still fresh for both of you. Wait three weeks and you're starting over. Show up in three days with something useful and you're the person who listened. [00:02:40] Move 2: Make the Value Specific and Useful A motivational quote won't do it. Send the thing that makes their week easier, a real insight about their market, an introduction, or a tool. Here's one I've been building lately. I went to YouTube, found the people who know the most about showing up in AI search, pulled about 10 to 12 hours of their content, and dropped the transcripts into AI to build a skill. About 15 minutes later, I could put in a loan officer's name and market and get back a playbook showing where they rank in AI and a 90-day plan to get to the top. 52% of Gen Z now start their searches inside AI, so that playbook matters to every producer on your list. And how you hook it matters as much as what's inside it. Offering a playbook on AI visibility is weak. Offering a 90-day strategy to become the number one loan officer in their market is stronger. Telling them how another producer picks up two or three deals a month by showing up first in AI searches is the strongest, because it leads with a result. [00:03:50] Move 3: Build a Ladder and Anchor Your Value So It Stacks In sales there's a concept called the value ladder, and it's just ascending value, each step giving a little more than the one before it. For a recruit it might look like this: a connection request, then a playbook built for their business, then an invitation a couple of weeks later to a 15-minute conversation to walk through it with them, no strings attached. From there it climbs to a virtual site visit, and only then an offer. Once the assets exist, a good virtual assistant with access to your social media and a solid list can run most of that campaign for you. Every future touch can point back to that first playbook while adding something new, so your value keeps stacking instead of starting over. [00:04:36] Move 4: Deliver It on a Rhythm Value once is a moment. Value every 30 days forever is a relationship. That's forever follow-up, and it's how you stay in the conversation with a recruit over months and years. We've surveyed about 1,600 mortgage leaders, and the average one stays in touch with 7.3 people and reaches out every 9 to 12 months. That's the standard you're up against. Put two blocks on your calendar each month, one to create the value and one to deliver it to your whole list, and you're already ahead of almost everyone. When you reconnect, drop the words just checking in, because that phrase asks for attention and gives nothing back. Say you thought of them and wanted to bring them something of value, then ask permission to keep doing it. I'll say something like, one of my big goals this year is to be more valuable to the people in my sphere of influence, and I hope you're okay with me showing up from time to time with something I think would help you grow your business. Almost nobody says no to that, and now your value doesn't look strange against years of silence. [00:05:40] Move 5: Write to an Audience of One Whether you're reaching one recruit or 50, every piece of value should feel like it was made for the person receiving it. When I send one of those AI playbooks, I won't just text it over. I'll record a 3-minute video walking that person through their ...
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